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Making Dallas Even Better

Read Jon Bois’ Eulogy For RadioShack

If you didn’t read this — SBNation’s Jon Bois writing about his days working for RadioShack — when it ran last year, now is a good time to do it. A taste:

This is a consumer technology business that is built to work perfectly in the year 1975. The Internet comes around, and this, being a technology company, is expected to move on it aggressively and know what it’s doing, except basically nobody really understood the Internet for a very long time. So they whiffed big a few times. Then the iPhone came around and rendered half the stuff RadioShack sold completely redundant. This company needed to become something radically different a decade ago. I just don’t think it knows how to be anything else.

It’s like retracing the steps and doings of a drunk person: okay, here’s where he keyed the cop car. Wait, why’d he do that? I don’t know, but his pants are lying here, so this is before he stripped naked and tried to rob the library.

ALSO: the CueCat makes a cameo.

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The Dallas Version of Basic

At Jezebel, Erin Gloria Ryan has a super-entertaining guide to every sub-category of “basic” in the United States. The Dallas entry:

Job: Real estate. Maybe marketing.
Drives: A massive SUV her dad bought for her.
Wears: Kendra Scott jewelry, Tori Burch accessories, 7 For All Mankind or Citizens of Humanity jeans. A statement necklace if it’s a special occasion.
Listens to: 106.1 KISS FM.
Spends her summers: Being a bridesmaid. She has been a bridesmaid like 15 times.
Celebrity aspiration: Jessica Simpson.

Do you agree? If you don’t, you’re probably basic. Just kidding. Kind of. No, really. Maybe.

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Mavs May Pursue Pau Gasol And His Super-Positive Twitter Account

Your Dallas Mavericks supposedly are going to make a play for free agent Pau Gasol, most recently with the Los Angeles Lakers. Gasol es bros con José Calderón, por lo que es una ventaja. I don’t know how much he would help on the court — I’d rather have Marc Gasol — but I would welcome his overwhelming positivity to the area. A few examples from his Twitter account:

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American Blogger: The Most Important Film in the History of Cinema, Ever

Chris Wiegand of Dallas is a visionary filmmaker. Don’t take my word for it. Take his word for it. The trailer he posted recently for his new project, American Blogger, describes the deep spiritual apotheosis one is likely to experience upon watching this “beautifully filmed and artistically crafted” film.

Inspired by the blog of his own attractive blonde wife Casey, Chris drove across this great nation of ours, fighting for freedom and meeting with other beautiful female wordsmiths — mavens of fashion, style, and interior design. They’re part of a movement that could, potentially, change our world. Good-looking women will no longer have to put up with being ignored. At long last they have a means for commanding the attention that they deserve but have never received often enough.

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DBU Student Sings ‘Let It Go’ as 21 Different Disney Characters, Internet Craters

Brian Hull, who grew up in Mansfield and is now a senior music major at Dallas Baptist University, set the Internet afire this weekend with his rendition of the hit song “Let It Go” from Frozen. He’d heard about a contest where the best cover of the young-girl anthem won a $100 Disney Store gift card, and thought to himself, hey, I’d like a hundred bucks. So he sang the song as different Disney characters. As of last night, the video had nearly 5 million views and climbing. I have sources in Mansfield — never you mind who — and they put me in contact with Hull for a quick Q&A. 

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The Meme That Hilariously Won’t Die: Craig James Killed Five Hookers at SMU

For the upcoming TCU/SMU game, The Varsity-Fort Worth — an off-campus seller of TCU merch — is hawking purple shirts with the acronym CJKFH. Which, if you are late to the game and got to this point without reading the headline, stands for “Craig James Killed Five Hookers.” I assume they left off the SMU […]

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Dallas Rappers: Slim Thug Is Trying To Get Dwight Howard To Houston. What Are You Doing?

As you can see by these tweets collected by Deadspin, Slim Thug is running a full-court press on free agent center Dwight Howard, putting together a pretty solid cost-benefit analysis, with respect to bottles of rosé, strippers, “big-ass cribs,” and baby mamas. So where you at, Tum Tum, Big Tuck, ADd.+, Dorrough, etc.? Time’s a […]

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Richardson Man Sued in ‘Revenge Porn’ Case

A Richardson man is being sued for his role in the website Texxxan.com, a “revenge porn” site that allows users to upload photos and videos of their ex-lovers in an attempt to embarrass and, in some cases, extort. The man, Kris Kronowski, is listed in a class-action lawsuit filed last week in Orange County; he is listed […]

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