The Mark Cuban Commercial That Continues To Drive Me Insane

If you watched last night’s Mavs game, then you saw Mark Cuban’s AT&T Uverse Live commercial about 200 times. No exaggeration. I was going to say 4,000 times, but that’s clearly an exaggeration. I’ve written about this over-aired commercial before, wondering why a billionaire would allow a telecommunications company to mock his bald spot in a television commercial. When a commercial airs as frequently as this one does, it’s impossible not to break it down shot by shot, frame by frame. It’s like reindeer and the Sami people of northern Russia and Scandinavia. The Sami have something like 1,000 words for reindeer. You know why? Because the Sami don’t get to watch basketball on TV. They are forced to watch reindeer on TV. As a result, they get really into reindeer. So it is with me and this Mark Cuban commercial.

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American Blogger: The Most Important Film in the History of Cinema, Ever

Chris Wiegand of Dallas is a visionary filmmaker. Don’t take my word for it. Take his word for it. The trailer he posted recently for his new project, American Blogger, describes the deep spiritual apotheosis one is likely to experience upon watching this “beautifully filmed and artistically crafted” film.

Inspired by the blog of his own attractive blonde wife Casey, Chris drove across this great nation of ours, fighting for freedom and meeting with other beautiful female wordsmiths — mavens of fashion, style, and interior design. They’re part of a movement that could, potentially, change our world. Good-looking women will no longer have to put up with being ignored. At long last they have a means for commanding the attention that they deserve but have never received often enough.

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Leading Off (4/17/14)

One Year Later, West Continues To Rebuild. Here is a good look at where everything stands.

Judge Carlos Cortez’s Unsealed Court Documents Include Allegations of Cocaine Use and Sexual Abuse. This report shows you exactly why he fought so hard to keep them sealed for so long. It’s not because they say he’s a “smooth karaoke singer” and a “showboat dancer.”

Mavericks Lose In Overtime; Start Playoffs Sunday Against the Spurs. That was an exhausting game to watch. The Mavs will have their hands full with the Spurs, obviously, since they haven’t beaten them once this season and it hasn’t ever been that close.

Other Sports News: Stars lose first game in playoff series against Ducks; Rangers win another game in walk-off fashion.

Giant Chalk Jesus? Giant Chalk Jesus.

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Six Dogs Walk Into Downtown Neimans

Art Ortiz is the pack leader at DogFit Dallas. You can often see him walking around downtown with several dogs in tow. He’s great at identifying dogs with people problems, and is a godsend to many of us downtown dog owners.

He posted this video earlier today. As he explains it, he’d always heard Neiman Marcus was dog friendly, but had never taken his dogs inside. Today, during his normal walk, he decided to see what would happen. The overall reaction was great: everyone was kind and welcoming.

So the next time you’re thinking about making a trip to Neimans, take your dog along, or give Art a call. Either way, your dog will be happy.

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D Magazine’s 40 Greatest Stories: John Wiley Price, American Hustler

With indications that the federal case against Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price may finally be moving forward—nearly three years after the FBI’s investigation of Price went public—it seems a fitting time to revisit D Magazine‘s 1991 profile of him. It’s one of our 40 greatest stories.

The piece, written by someone named Laura Miller, gets into some of the same sort of questionable financial transactions that have caught the government’s attention and could reportedly result in indictments any time now. But the most disturbing allegations come from several women who talk of having been sexually assaulted by the powerful politician. Price denies to Miller all of these claims.

After reading this article, it seems remarkable that 23 years later Price still sits on the commissioners’ court—still doing things like telling white people to go to hell. It’s hard to read about Price without being reminded of the immortal words of State Sen. Clay Davis: “Sheeeeeet.”

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Leading Off (4/16/14)

Charges Dropped Against Pig Blood Executive: I was going to explain this a little more, but this SEO-friendly Morning News headline should do the trick: “Criminal charges dropped against Dallas slaughterhouse executive; charges remain against company, another executive for pig blood and toxic chemicals found in Trinity tributary.

Teen Killed in Hit-and-Run Following Police Chase: Ethan Vasquez was a 13-year-old with a big smile, a seventh-grader at an Uptown gifted-and-talented school. On Tuesday morning in the M Streets, on his way to school, a stolen minivan crashed into a car driven by his mother. Ethan was killed, and his mother is in critical condition at Baylor Medical Center. The driver and passenger of the stolen minivan fled on foot.

Gubernatorial Candidates Continue to Find Tiny Things to Talk About: Just yesterday, Wendy Davis criticized Greg Abbott’s education platform, the PPP released its latest poll numbers (Abbott is still ahead, markedly, and ahead with female voters), Abbott released his tax forms/Davis filed for an extension, and we found out Davis is having outpatient neck surgery. Only seven more months, folks!

Mavs Fight For Seventh Seed Tonight: The Mavs take on the Grizzlies, for the right to not have to play the Spurs in the first round of the playoffs. Both teams lost all four games they played against San Antonio this season; the Mavs are 2-1 against Oklahoma City (the two-seed as of this typing), while the Grizz went 1-2 against the Thunder. If the Mavs lose and end up playing the Spurs, though, it would make my inclusion of this bizarre sandwich conversation video between Spurs reserve Matt Bonner and Geto Boy Bushwick Bill seem less odd.

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The New Yorker on Jordan Spieth

There’s a nice little ditty on The New Yorker’s sports blog about Bubba and Jordan and the Masters that you should read. A taste:

Spieth’s swing is a newly paved freeway through the heartland: smooth, straight, efficient, dependable. Watson’s is the spotty two-lane through the backwater. It’s tangled and indirect, a mess of rough road that seems to surprise Watson as much as anybody when it leads to the desired location.


Spieth plays with an effortlessness that is no doubt the result of great effort. He’s the Federer of golf right now: fluid motions, no sweat glands, an air of calm superiority.

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Leading Off (4/15/14)

Woman Found Guilty of Murder in Castration Death. Crystal Richardson claimed in court that she was just defending herself. But on the night of April 28, 2012, after using PCP, cocaine, marijuana, and alcohol, she castrated Cedric Lamont Owens and stabbed him more than 130 times. The jury didn’t buy her story.

Man Found Guilty of Murder in Stabbing Deaths. Just a couple months before Richardson’s bloody night in a Far East Dallas hotel room, in a house not far from that crime, William Gerard Palmer fatally stabbed his wife and her parents. Yesterday, a jury convicted him, too, and this account of the victims’ impact statements is tough to read.

An Item That’s Not About a Stabbing Murder. Cold enough for you this morning?

No Good Horrible Day for American Airlines and US Airways. The merging carriers made news yesterday for the wrong reasons. An AA pilot forgot he had a gun in his backpack and tried to bring it through a security checkpoint at DFW Airport. Meanwhile US Airways tweeted a picture of a naked woman playing with a toy airplane. A reminder to all of us that we need to be careful with our firearms and our aviation porn.

And, Oh Yeah, It’s Tax Day. Fun!

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Parsing That Long John Wiley Price Story

As Cristina mentioned in Leading Off, on Sunday the Morning News published a lengthy story about the FBI’s investigation of John Wiley Price. I can’t figure it out. Because almost none of it is new. After the FBI raids in the summer of 2011, the paper did a great job piecing together what the feds were looking for and all the curious financial matters concerning price: the land deals, the bankruptcy, the expensive cars, the cash in the safe. The story we got Sunday is just a rehash of all that, with one small addition:

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Dallas Homes Selling at Ridiculously Fast Rate

I do not envy anyone looking to buy a home in Dallas in the near future. A recent report from the real estate website says that, in March, 14.4% of homes in Dallas sold within three days of hitting the market. That’s up 1.5% compared to last year.

What’s more, in February, 38.8% of homes sold within two weeks. That’s up from what was already a fast-moving market in February 2013, when that rate was 31.9%. Our continued population growth, and housing inventory that’s down 19.5% since last year have a lot to do with it.

Prospective buyers must prepare for war.

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Watch George W. Bush Tell a Dirty Joke

Talking Points Memo points to the “ribald” humor former president George W. Bush displayed during a speech yesterday in Austin. The occasion was a summit marking the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Act, held at Lyndon Johnson’s presidential library.

“Former presidents compare their libraries the way other men may compare their, well…” Bush said.

Maybe he hadn’t heard about Colbert taking the Late Show gig, figured he still had time to get his name out there.

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Personnel Moves: The Perot Museum of Nature and Science, CardLab Inc., ContentGuard, Disney Investment Group, Slates Harwell LLP

New executive additions to The Perot Museum of Nature and Science, CardLab Inc., ContentGuard, Disney Investment Group, and Slates Harwell LLP in this week’s personnel moves. The Perot Museum of Nature and Science has hired a new Eugene McDermott Chief Executive Officer, Colleen Walker, who will assume the role on June 1. Walker has served as […]

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