49er Fans Try To Skewer Cowboys, Fail

So sometimes, when I’ve got a few minutes and there’s no vodka, I search for blogs that talk about Dallas. Today, I found this one called Niners Nation, which is apparently about the cute little San Francisco 49ers.

And I found this post, entitled, “At Least We’re Not … The Dallas Cowboys!” And apparently, I need to explain satire to these adorable little misshapen-headed Niners fans, because it ceases to be satirical if  you essentially apologize and insist you’re just joshing both before and after your unimaginative attempt at skewering the Cowboys.

True satire needs no disclaimer.

For instance, I could point out that you’ve been a sad shell of your former self since Montana left, and that would be the truth. I could say that Cowboys fans find you adorable, because we really save most of our abject hatred for the Redskins. That, too, would be the truth.

When you bring up that we grossly overpaid for Roy Williams, we know this. And it’s fact. It’s hardly satirical to point out the obvious. And we thought we were getting this Roy Williams (See what I did there? Satire).

And yes, yes, we know that our quarterback’s last name rhymes with homo. And if he were one, we’d be OK with that. Ironically, you, San Francisco, bring this up, and make it sound like a derogatory thing.

So in conclusion, satire is funny. Come to Dallas, and we’ll teach you it.