Find a back issue

A Message To Dwyane Wade From Zac Crain, Mavs Fan

AH HAHAHA AHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OHHHHHHHH, MAAAAAAN. You opted out of HOW MUCH? AND LEBRON TOTALLY PUMP-FAKED YOU? AND BOSH IS PROBABLY GOING TO LEAVE, TOO? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [grabs sides, takes deep breath] HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH [starts coughing] HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OOOOOOOOOOOOOH MAAAAAAAN! WOW! [tries to regain composure] Wow. Man, fella, you must be hurting, you know, um, to — haha — to have — HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Full Story

Rudy Bush Is the Best Morning News Columnist, And It’s Not Close

The Dallas Morning News made Rudy Bush a columnist a few months back, and while I always enjoyed his work as the paper’s city hall reporter, I wasn’t sure how he would do when freed from the “gotta see both sides” nature of his previous gig. I was dead wrong.

Whether or not you agree with his column about the NRA and Open Carry Texas, I think you’d agree he does exactly what (I think, anyway) a great columnist should do: demonstrate a clear-eyed grasp on the issue at hand, pick a side, and argue that side eloquently. Plus — and this is especially helpful, given the continued presence of Steve Blow — he consistently writes about actual issues, and not just quota-killing give-up topics. GOOD JOB, RUDY.

Full Story

Reunion Tower’s Observation Deck to Re-Open on — Wait, It’s Called WHAT?

Big Bob has the details about the opening here. (It’s October 5, by the way.) I will instead focus on the name. Here’s is my short take: SO DUMB. Here is a long one: Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo dumb. GeO-Deck?! That’s the name of a Lego knock-off that your kid will hate you for buying instead of the […]

Full Story

Cowboys Fans Shouldn’t Worry About Chip Kelly, the Morning News Says, Except That He’s Smoked Monte Kiffin in the Past, So Maybe You, the Reader, Should Tell Us if You’re Worried?

That’s what I’ve gleaned from their DallasNews.com front page carousel announcing the Eagles’ hire of Chip Kelly. Sort-of a Choose Your Own Adventure response. Door A: “Chip Kelly? Phhhesssshhhhh who cares.” Door B: “HEAD FOR THE HILLS, CHIP KELLY’S IN TOWN.” Door C: “You tell us what door you’d like to pick.”

Full Story

Yes, This Flu Season Is Worse Than Usual

Or at least earlier than usual. The map above was created by Google.org’s Flu Trends initiative, a non-profit wing of the very much for-profit Google. It tracks search terms which it deems good indicators of flu activity, then uses aggregated Google search data to estimate flu activity. As you can see, the flu is peaking right now, […]

Full Story

Now YOU Can Own George W. Bush’s Pickup

A pickup former President George W. Bush used on his Crawford ranch will be auctioned off to benefit Fisher House Foundation, a program dedicated to assisting U.S. military families. Let’s go straight to the announcement: “President Bush has used this stunning white F-150 at his Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas, since shortly after he […]

Full Story

It Was Not A Fever Dream. You Did See the Wienermobile in Dallas Yesterday.

My mother always said the best press releases include the subject line: “WIENERMOBILE VISITS DALLAS AREA THIS WEEK.” I thought it was a strange maxim as a child, pushed it into the back of my head, and forgot about it for 20 years. Yesterday, it bounded back into my consciousness. I found the Wienermobile at […]

Full Story

The Dole-Kemp ’96 Website Still Exists, Is Great

This post is, admittedly, a stretch. But here’s how it’s relevant: – Jack Kemp addressed the 1984 Republican National Convention in…Dallas, Texas. – Texas Senator Phil Gramm ran against Bob Dole for the 1996 Republican nomination. Now that THAT’S out of the way, enjoy this website that still exists and includes such hits as: – […]

Full Story

Why D Magazine NEEDS To Adopt TMZ’s Headline Style, Via the Deion-Pilar Divorce

DEION SANDERS I NEVER Offered Cash for Ass DEION SANDERS Pilar’s Trying to EXTORT Me PILAR SANDERS SLAMS DEION He’s a No-Good CHEATER … and a MEGA-Narcissist DEION SANDERS Daughter SLAMS Step-Mom — You’re a ‘Gold-Digging H*e’ And so on. Do people click on those because they’re sensational subject-wise? Of course. Oh my lord. But […]

Full Story

Eric Nadel Sends Photos From Comerica Park in Detroit

UPDATE, 2:33 pm: It’s raining in Detroit.  We could be in for another delay. Texas Rangers’ radio play-by-play announcer Eric Nadel is at Comerica Park in Detroit where the Rangers are getting ready to embarrass the Detroit Tigers. He sent a few pictures he took as he walked into the park. I urge you to […]

Full Story

Dos and Don’ts of Skipping Work to Watch the NCAA Tournament

Today kicks off the NCAA men’s college basketball tournament, and it is — traditionally — a day when office workers take really, really long lunches so as to cram in as much men’s college basketball tournament fun as possible (read: drink). So, anyway. A list. Because people love two things: AMERICA. And lists.

Full Story