That’s what I’ve gleaned from their DallasNews.com front page carousel announcing the Eagles’ hire of Chip Kelly. Sort-of a Choose Your Own Adventure response.
Door A: “Chip Kelly? Phhhesssshhhhh who cares.”
Door B: “HEAD FOR THE HILLS, CHIP KELLY’S IN TOWN.”
Door C: “You tell us what door you’d like to pick.”
tp://frontburner.dmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/george-bush-ford-f150-300×179.jpeg” alt=”" width=”300″ height=”179″ /> George, strikin’ a pose. Source: Barrett-Jackson, “the World’s Greatest Collector Car Auctions”
A pickup former President George W. Bush used on his Crawford ranch will be auctioned off to benefit Fisher House Foundation, a program dedicated to assisting U.S. military families.
Let’s go straight to the announcement:
“President Bush has used this stunning white F-150 at his Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas, since shortly after he left the White House in 2009. With a 5.4-Liter V8 engine commanding 310 horsepower, this impressive truck has a luxurious adobe King Ranch premium leather interior and 11,200lbs towing capacity. President Bush and former First Lady Laura Bush have since used the truck to work around their ranch; entertain friends, family, and dignitaries and to give tours of their Crawford property.”
The most interesting thing to me: he used the truck to “entertain friends.” Donuts, presumably, or maybe some sort of demolition derby. Also, why’d he stop at the 150 model? Seems like a man who’d at least go F250, with all that ranching.
The auction is January 19, in Scottsdale, Ariz. Get more info and tickets (tickets?) here.
My mother always said the best press releases include the subject line: “WIENERMOBILE VISITS DALLAS AREA THIS WEEK.” I thought it was a strange maxim as a child, pushed it into the back of my head, and forgot about it for 20 years. Yesterday, it bounded back into my consciousness.
I found the Wienermobile at the Fiesta on Jefferson Boulevard. It was being ignored. Hundreds of little kids preferred the free cake and clowns in another corner of this makeshift, Monday-evening festival, so I had the wiener all to myself. 27 feet of wiener, just waiting to be loved.
- Jack Kemp addressed the 1984 Republican National Convention in…Dallas, Texas.
- Texas Senator Phil Gramm ran against Bob Dole for the 1996 Republican nomination.
Now that THAT’S out of the way, enjoy this website that still exists and includes such hits as:
- “Right now, we feature a variety of downloadable wallpaper images. Decorate your desktop withÂ Dole for PresidentÂ graphics!”
- The “updates” section of the website includes the line “Check out the past e-mail updates sent to Dole Online supporters,” but features a picture of a fax machine.
- “Following Bob Dole’s mention of his campaign Web site address in his closing remarks last night in Hartford, the site has been deluged by a flood of first-time visitors. In a single four-hour period today, the Dole-Kemp ’96 Web site received more than 762,000 “hits” — the Web standard for measuring traffic on a site.”
And so on. Do people click on those because they’re sensational subject-wise? Of course. Oh my lord. But also, because they generally make sure to CAPITALIZE a word in most headlines. That tells me, as a reader, “There is something important here. Something IMPORTANT. SOMETHING important.” See? You want to click on that sentence don’t you? But you can’t, because all it would do is highlight the sentence, and not take you to a magical, grammatically suspect blog post. Anyway, I’m doing this from now on.
UPDATE, 2:33 pm: It’s raining in Detroit. Â We could be in for another delay.
Texas Rangers’ radio play-by-play announcer Eric Nadel is at Comerica Park in Detroit where the Rangers are getting ready to embarrass the Detroit Tigers. He sent a few pictures he took as he walked into the park. I urge you to turn off the sound on your TV and tune in to 103.3 ESPN Radio and listen to Nadel and (Tim’s buddy) Steve Busby call the game. First pitch at 3:19 PM CST. GO RANGERS!
Jump for more pictures.
Today kicks off the NCAA men’s college basketball tournament, and it is — traditionally — a day when office workers take really, really long lunches so as to cram in as much men’s college basketball tournament fun as possible (read: drink). So, anyway. A list. Because people love two things: AMERICA. And lists.
According to the latest survey that combines three sort of random figures to come up with another sort of random ranking. And we lost to Hartford! COME ON.
1. Kevin Sherrington has noticed that basketball is happening. And he says the Mavericks are doomed. Is he right? DOUBTFUL.
2. You guys, the one-man crime wave is back. That’s right: Charlie Perez, “27-year-old scallywag” and inveterate car burglar. Is scallywag one of my favorite words? YOU KNOW IT.
3. And the pre-Super Bowl homeless roust officially kicks off. Up next: DALLAS!