13-Year-Old Ralph Hardy Knows How To Party

A link-sending, Facebook-using FrontBurnervian passes along this story about Newark, TX teen Ralph Hardy. (Newark is just west of Flower Mound.) Hardy and his friends had just won a World of Warcraft tournament. To celebrate, Hardy stole a copy of his dad’s credit card, rented a motel room, and hired a bunch of $1,000-a-night escorts. From the story:

They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

He and his friend’s didn’t have sex with them, though. They just played Halo. Oh, and Hardy told the cops that his dad shouldn’t mind that he stole the credit card because the father didn’t get the son a birthday present. Genius.

Update: As dallasnewsgirl comments (and the original FrontBurnervian adds waaaay too late) the story, it is fake.

Hambrick Sentenced

A well-rested (for now) FrontBurnervian sends along this news item: Former Dallas Cowboy Troy Hambrick has been sentenced to five years in prison for selling crack cocaine to confidential informants near his Tampa-area home. I imagine it to be like an episode of Weeds, with Hambrick playing U-Turn.

[Sigh] Sweet Mary Louise Parker. [sigh]

Re: Leading Off

Eric, surely you saw the story about the South Dallas 14-year-old accused of selling heroin — with his 8-year-old relative acting as lookout. That doesn’t top a Kingwood skull bong?

UT Student Arrested For Terrorism

In this case, it wasn’t 9/11-type terrorism, but Charles Whitman-type terrorism. This kid is really sick and needs help or UT just averted a major disaster — or both.

When Pregnancy Is Child Abuse

As the father of four Allisonettes, ages 16-23, I am disgusted by the latest CPS announcement that 31 out of 53 girls rounded up in the FLDS raid are either pregnant or have given birth (one, in fact, gave birth today). However, I remain skeptical. For one thing, the CPS is working overtime to justify its actions, and many of its leaks to the press have been as inaccurate as the original grounds for the search warrant. For another, as Scott Henson points out, its numbers either don’t add up or are deliberately jiggled. But there’s another point that goes to the heart of the matter, which I’ll address after the jump:

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Crowley Man Arrested for Trying to Cash $360 Billion Check

Now that would be a stimulus package. An alert FBvian points us to the story.

SMU Kids Know How to Party, Urinate

SMU’s student newspaper is exposing the boorish behavior of some of its students:

One doctor wrote to complain on behalf of a thousand conference attendees. In early April, the group of doctors stayed at the same North Dallas hotel a group of SMU students were also booked at. On all 15 floors, he wrote, SMU students “urinated in hallways,” “came close to physical confrontations with other guests,” kicked in doors and walked in on other guests in their rooms. He also said yelling and profane language went on until dawn.

The odd part about the story is that the revelation comes not in a story in the Daily Campus, but rather in an ad — paid for by a vice president of student affairs.

Search & Rescue Command Center in Uptown

An Uptown-dwelling, curiosity-having FrontBurnervian wonders and asks:

Can you ask some in-the-police-know folks and help me find out why Search & Rescue teams have set up camp in Uptown? The Search & Rescue trucks are actually across the street from last week’s rape victim on Cole. I’m kind of freaked out because as I left my condo, there were WAY too many police cars and search and rescue teams setting up a “command central” for a minor situation.

Here’s another update from one of my neighbors:

So, I went and talked to the S&R team. I made sure to not get in their way, but they do realize that we are worried. Believe it or not, they would not tell me what was going on. All they said (which is what they say is all they could say) was that they are assisting in an investigation with the Dallas Police. I asked if it was about the incident last week and was told that they could neither confirm or deny that.  Whatever it is, they have a lot of man and dog power. I will keep combing the news sites today, maybe something there will tell us what is going on. They also said that residents in this area should “keep their eyes open and be aware,” but would not tell me what exactly that meant.

NorthPark Crime Reports To Increase By At Least One

In the May issue of D, Trey Garrison wrote a short piece about the rising crime rate at NorthPark, anecdotally kicked off by the tale of Jody Dean’s stolen pickup. How prophetic we turned out to be. Just yesterday morning, according to multiple sources, Eiseman Jewelers was broken into. No reports (yet) on what or how much was taken.

Good Work, Asst. DA Allison Palmer

Scott Henson raises a very disturbing point over at Grits For Breakfast:

Without the fiction of rescuing a sixteen year old rape victim to justify their military-style entry into the YFZ Ranch, everything that’s happened begins to look like a modern day witch hunt. I’ve argued repeatedly that any real sexual predators would go free because the raid has been mishandled, and this shows why.

Was There “Probable Cause”?

Now that the Zion arrest warrant seems to have been based on a hoax, authorities are scrambling — and making unsubstantiated blanket accusations. Assistant DA Allison Palmer says it doesn’t matter. But, of course, she would say that, since she is the one who submitted the false information to the judge. CPS spokesperson Marleigh Meisner also says it doesn’t matter, since

“What we feel we found was systematic abuse of children.”

What Meisner feels she’s found and what she’s actually found may be two very different things. Have Judge Barbara Walther, the Legislature, and the federal courts ceded interpretation of the 4th Amendment to somebody’s feelings?

Ferris Speed Trap

The Ellis County Observer has the numbers. Robert Guest asks the pertinent question: is the speed trap illegal under Texas law?

ACLU: “We’re Too Busy”

That’s basically the response from the Texas ACLU in answer to a donor who wants to know why they aren’t engaged in the Zion debacle. The full letter below:

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The Story Behind The Thin Blue Line

I was just catching up on the May issue of GQ, which is a good’un. In particular, there’s a profile of documentary filmmaker Errol Morris, who many may know as the director of 1988’s The Thin Blue Line, the movie that exonerated Randall Adams of the murder of a police officer in Dallas in 1976. The magazine profile (timehook: Morris’ Standard Operating Procedure) is full of goodies, or, at least, goodies that the movie had that I forgot. Read the whole thing. (Or don’t. It’s up to you.)

Good Question: Where Is The ACLU?

As the Zion debacle continues, a Knoxville commentator asks why a group is being held for crimes that may have been committed by individuals, if any crimes have been committed at all.

An Oberwetter Stands Up For America

Thomas Jefferson’s birthday, as everybody knows, is on April 13. To celebrate the occasion, Brooke Oberwetter, daughter of former Ambassador Jim Oberwetter of  Dallas, decided to do a little dancing at the Jefferson Memorial. So off she went with nineteen or so of her friends. Their spontaneous patriotic effusion, however, was interrupted by a security guard, who proceeded to arrest young Brooke. This being 2008, the incident was recorded. This being Brooke, it was reported in the Washington Post. And this being America, friends have created a web site to proclaim the injustice of the thing and to raise money for her defense. Knowing the FrontBurner Nation to be friends of freedom, I hope you will make a small contribution to the cause. One generation proclaimed, “Don’t tread on me!” Now another generation proclaims, “Bopping is not a crime!”

First Domino Falls In Corruption Case

Don Hill co-defendant Allen McGill pled guilty today.

“Yearning For Zion” Raid: Another Case Of Government Hysteria?

Now that 416 children are in the state’s custody, I put the question directly to a friend who is a child sex-abuse psychologist working feverishly on sorting through the mess in San Angelo, where the children and some of their mothers are being held. I asked if indeed there was probable cause for the raid, why did authorities remove all the children and not just pubescent girls in danger of being married, if such was the government’s complaint? She answers:

It is a politcal year. Their life was different but it is destroyed now. Still waiting for someone to explain it to me. If you were to compare the ratio of abused kids there to the rest of the world, you might laugh at the absurdity of our government.

I’m not laughing. Just the opposite. I believe these children are being held by the government because of the unpopularity of their parents. Polygamy, it is true, is illegal. But does it merit a court citation or a full-scale military assault? My bet is that when all comes to light, the State of Texas is going to pay dearly, perhaps not for the raid itself (whose complaintant has not been located, by the way) but for holding parents and children in a concentration camp detention center internment facility 19th-century fort when not one person has been charged with a crime. It looks to me to be plainly unconstitutional, even if it was sanctioned by some Amarillo state judge.

Rep. Dan Branch Needs to Have His Keys Taken Away

The photo you see below of Rep. Dan Branch’s car was taken by an alert, iPhone-wielding FrontBurnervian at Love Field. The Mercedes is clearly parked on Level 3, Row E — but it is also clearly NOT parked in a parking spot. The photo raises two questions: 1) Seriously, dude? 2) Why hasn’t it been towed yet?

Dallas Puts Its Citizens’ Lives at Risk for Red Light Ticket Revenue

An alert FBvian points us to news that Dallas has been shortening yellow lights at intersections monitored by cameras.

There is really nothing else to say: this must stop.

Update: Another FBvian reminds me that we’ve known this for a while.

Dallas Con Artist Cons Columbians

I was just catching up on the Columbia Tribune and stumbled across the tall tales of Alan Farha II. The scam artist got church’s to fork over hundreds, even thousands, of dollars after he claimed he needed money to get to his father’s funeral and money for asthma medicine and money for a hamburger that he’d totally pay back on Tuesday. I made that last one up. But the story is a good one, as stories go. Especially as I compile my list of screenplay-worthy news items. This one is probably on the Music Man cliché side, though. Still, a feel-good ending if Farha recognizes the error in his ways, gets his life back on track, and gives huge donations that save small, mid-America towns. Vince Vaughn stars. Obvs.

“The Carsonist(s)” Captured by Dallas Police … Then Another Car is Set on Fire

Dallas Police arrested four people over the weekend in connection with the string of car fires in South Dallas. (They didn’t realize the car they doused in gasoline was parked directly in front of an unmarked DPD vehicle.) Awesome, right? Except that another fire happened Monday morning. That makes, I believe, 27 such fires. And still, no one has bothered to target my vehicle. Someone put it out of its misery.

Why I Won’t Be at the Nasher This Saturday

The Nasher just released the lineup for its Saturday Night in the City Garden Concert Series (full release after the jump). The first performer, this Saturday, is homeboy and Jackopiercer Cary Pierce. The last time I heard him play a concert, it cost me a night in the Oklahoma City Jail and $1,100. Here’s a story that ran in the Daily Oklahoman awhile back, under the headline “Three Arrested for Not Wearing Pants”:

Three out-of-towners were caught red-handed — sort of — after police found them running around downtown Oklohoma City without pants. The men were booked into the Oklahoma City Jail on complaints of indecent exposure. Police found the trio, who were wearing only shirts, sitting on a curb in front of the Medallion Hotel about 2 a.m. Sunday.

A female driver reported the incident.

Arrested were: [name redacted], 28, and Timothy Rogers, 26, both of Dallas; and [name redacted], 26, of Ardmore. All have since been released from jail.

We were walking back to the hotel after the concert. Streaking seemed like the right thing to do. The show was that good. But never again. As I told the judge, I learned my lesson.

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Former Bengals WR Chris Henry Headed to the Dallas Cowboys, Local Strip Club, Jail?

That’s what one of the bloggers at AOL’s FanHouse thinks–the first part, anyway. If that happens, and the team consummates its flirtation with Pacman Jones, they’re going to need to bring in Michael Irvin to show them how to properly set up a new “White House.” Get your purple mink coats and matching bowler hats ready.

The Guy Who Broke the Alphonso Jackson HUD Story

An alert FrontBurnervian points us to this CJR story about the reporter who had the Alphonso Jackson story first — five months ago.

Re: Leading Off — FIRE!

A soon-to-be-hitched FBvian has some info on what we will now refer to as “The Carsonist” — well, at least his vehicle.

So one of the cars torched Saturday night was two houses down from me!!! WTF? [Our neighbors] saw a white Ford Explorer stop in front of the house, then about a minute later, it drove off and the bumper of the car in the driveway across the street was on fire. [They] put out the fire and called the cops.

I like The Carsonist. But I could be persuaded to change it to the Dallas Burn.

Wilmer Wannabe Mayor Gets Order of Sex Scandal Wrong

Memo to James Brian Sliter: You get elected first, then you get exposed in a sex scandal. You don’t get yourself arrested for trying to meet up with a girl on the Internet whom you thought was 15 years old, get sentenced to 10 years probation, then run for mayor. That’s just not how it’s done anymore.

Outrage On South Lamar Street

Was anyone else sickened to read this morning how two 70-year-old, husband-and-wife liquor-store owners have been repeatedly robbed, beaten, and shot by criminals at the couple’s store on South Lamar Street? She’s paralyzed from the waist down now after being shot, but he died. Outrageous. This kind of thing hit home for me personally several years ago, when the sweetest lady in the world–she worked at a dry cleaner I patronized in downtown Albuquerque–was terrorized after being accosted and held at knife-point by a robber. It is truly understandable why people like the guy interviewed famously by Rebecca Aguilar blow these criminals–that’s really too kind a word for them–to kingdom come.

“This Mall’s Got Everything.”

A restaurateur at the Shops at Willow Bend has been nabbed with possession and intent to distribute. (Movie quote level of difficulty: 2 for those born before 1976; 6 for those born after.)

Update: The Karen Dillard Mess

A few weeks ago we told you about Karen Dillard, who is being sued by the College Board for administering “live” tests to students enrolled in her $2,000 SAT-prep classes. (She has since filed a countersuit and both sides have agreed to a gag order after some nasty public exchanges.) Jasper High School Principal Michael Novotny, who is not named as a defendant in the suit but was accused of providing an active PSAT test to the Karen Dillard College Prep company where his brother Matthew is executive director, was put on paid leave Feb. 21 pending an investigation by the Plano Independent School District. (The PSAT is a practice SAT exam that is used to determine National Merit distinctions.) Friday, PISD reinstated Novotny, saying he violated no district policies or state laws and that it’s “not really the district’s job to determine whether a test is live or inactive.”

Meanwhile, students who have taken Dillard’s class—and the parents who footed the bill—are no doubt nervous at the possibility of their test scores being thrown out, potentially interfering with college acceptance, scholarships, and the like. So far, the College Board hasn’t made any moves toward doing so, but acknowledges that it has done so in similar past situations and is still a possibility, as any students who were allowed to practice on live tests (knowingly or not) were given an unfair advantage. Developing.

James Fantroy Guilty

So reports the DMN. He shoulda used the Clay Davis defense.

Fox 4’s Lari Barager Has an Odd Sense of Humor

An alert FrontBurnervian points us to this story from Fox 4. A 27-year-old man from Pennsylvania meets a 14-year-old Bedford girl in an online video game forum. He has his brother drive him to Texas so he can have sex with the girl. And he actually winds up spending the night in the girl’s room, where he’s caught sleeping by the mom, after the girl goes to school. The guy gets charged with sexual assault.

The kicker? Reporter Lari Barager sets up her story by saying, “It would be funny if the crime weren’t so serious.”

Um, Lari? Would you like a mulligan on that one?

DA Craig Watkins Fires Back at Steve Blow

Perhaps you read Steve Blow’s recent column wherein he called Craig Watkins “irresponsible” for his comments concerning the JFK materials discovered in a safe. The materials turned out to be nothing new, really. But Watkins said they’d “open up the debate as to whether or not there was a conspiracy to assassinate the president.” Blow took him to task for it.

Now the DA responds. Watkins’ office sent out the following rebuttal from him. Strong stuff:

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Family Feud Leads to Gunplay

If you are looking for the least-surprising part of this story in which a 40-year-old man is accused of shooting his brother-in-law and a 15-year-old boy (both are expected to recover fully) after the brother-in-law hit the man over the head with a beer bottle as part of an unsuccessful attempt to settle a family feud, here it is:

Both men were intoxicated, according to the sheriff’s report.

Drug Raidin’ With Da Mayor

Mayor Tom Leppert and Deputy Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway busted an old man in Oak Cliff who’d been selling candy and drugs. Back-up? They didn’t need no stinkin’ back-up. (They had it, though.) Michael Davis, aka Dallas Progress, was there for a first-hand account. Check it out.

Attn: SMU Co-Eds

A Hilltop-employed FrontBurnervian just passed along a crime alert email from the SMU Police Department. There’s a man with a scam and a cam(era) on campus:

A man has been approaching female students in the Dedman Center for Lifetime Sports, Moody Coliseum and the Park Cities Plaza. Using the name “Dean Kelly,” he tells students he is an MTV producer and is looking for women to pose for photos. When the women arrive for a photo shoot, he attempts to get them to pose nude.

If this individual approaches you, please call the SMU Police Department as soon as possible at 214-SMU-3388. You can also provide information anonymously by calling 214-SMU-2TIP or online at http://smu.edu/2tip.

Beware. And keep your clothes on in front of strangers.

The Case of the (Accused) Picasso-Thieving Artist: At Last, Some Answers

I apologize in advance if you are tired of me telling you about Michael Jon Schofield, but I still say the whole thing is inherently interesting. I mean, it’s no Small-Town Sheriff Scandal Movie in the Making, but still interesting. To catch up: Schofield is a Newport Beach artist accused of stealing a Picasso drawing that he had used as collateral for a personal loan that he didn’t repay. He ended up being arrested in Dallas and then extradited to Orange County. I’m sure — assuming you’re still paying attention — you’re wondering why? how? Dallas? I spoke to a police officer who was familiar with the case to find some answers.

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Kaufman County Sheriff Shenanigans

Here’s my movie pitch based on real-life recent events in the small town of Pelican Bay, northwest of Fort Worth, in the race leading up to the Republican primary for Kaufman County Sheriff:

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I Doubt Michael Jon Schofield Enjoyed His Visit to Dallas

Schofield, you may recall, is the Newport Beach artist arrested in our burg for using a Picasso sketch that didn’t belong to him as collateral for a loan he did not pay. Then, police say, he stole the sketch back. Somehow, he found his way to Dallas. I’m still trying to figure out why. (By “trying to figure out,” I mean “lazily waiting for someone to tell me.”) Anyway, he was extradited back to Cali today.

UT Ranked on Safest Colleges List

Ahem. SMU may have been #16. That’s sweet. But UT is #6. And it’s also by far the largest school out of the entire 135.

SMU Ranked On Safest Colleges List

I didn’t know Reader’s Digest was even in the surveying business. But according to a new study by everybody’s grandmother’s favorite magazine, SMU is the 16th safest college in the United States.

Midway Hollow A Treasure To Steal?

Hmm. A neighbor just called to say that there is a Channel 5 news truck in front of his house. Apparently another neighbor e-mailed the station to report a rash of burglaries in the area. Segment will air today at 4,5, and 6 p.m. Midway Hollowers, WTF? Preston Hollow People, they’re on the corner of Gooding and Valley Ridge. Hit it.

Ladies, Watch Your Back

I  just opened my Daily Crime Report to find that the Dallas Police Department has issued a warning for a serial rapist in the area. Details here.

The Second Double Life of Lauren Baumann

Awhile back, we received a call from a woman named Faith Pyka in California. She’d found a story in our archives, “The Double Life of Lauren Baumann,” from November 1998, that confirmed her worst fears. Pyka had fallen victim to a real estate scam. A decade ago, in Plano, Baumann had created a Ponzi scheme, cheating 80 investors out of $2.7 million, spending it on extravagant parties and Neiman Marcus shopping sprees. Her husband, Ed, turned her in to the SEC, but she has re-emerged with another real estate and loan scheme.

Intern Alexandra Millard picks up the story from there:

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Pistols and Parties Don’t Mix

A rightly admonishing FrontBurnervian wondered why this story had not yet found its way to our blog. It’s a sad story of a 20-year-old man who was drunk, shot his gun in the air, and thought he’d run out of bullets. But there was one left, which meant a sad ending when the man put the gun to his head. Not knowing how to deal with the potential Darwin Award winner, I struggled to write a sonnet–Shakespearean, natch. (I know, I know. It doesn’t scan so good. But I get credit for trying, right? And the non-iambic pentameter lines are pathetic fallacy. Or something.)

O death you are but wickedness and woe
To deal your cards so quick and with a smirk.
You play as if your hand will never slow.
You hide and laugh yet lethally you lurk.
On Friday past, some peeps put back some brew.
‘Twas late. But one is not so late an hour.
The street was named with Injun roots (not Sioux)–
A tribe known as the League of Peace and Power.
Amid the crowd Andreous getting drunk.
He stood (or tried) with friends and spoke his mind.
His life’s end a thought that could not be thunk.
And with such boldness his gun he did find.
With it, he shot the sky and silence ceased.
He lost count and bet his life. Now he rest in peace.

Two 7-Elevens on Garland Road Robbed

No one messes with my 7-Elevens and gets away with it. No one!

According to Senior Cpl. Kevin Janse, the men took “an undisclosed amount of cash, a few cartons of cigarettes, and a bag of chips.” Prediction: these guys aren’t the sort of professional thieves that will disappear into the ether. I doubt we’re talking about De Niro and the gang from Heat.

Bestest Headline So Far Today

“‘Pre-operative transvestite’ suspected in Plano bank robbery.” Um, come back to Dallas, where it’s safe? And where our bank robbers are one or the other, not a bit of both? Anyone?

Lewisville Teen Has Clean Hands, Dirty Rep

A 14-year-old student in Lewisville will not face charges of huffing hand-sanitizer. He still had to go in for fingerprinting and a mugshot. But after fingerprinting, what do you bet the kid went after the hand-sanitizer again? Thus, the cycle of crime continues.

Hospital Patient Has Gold Teeth Stolen

Zac, not sure how you overlooked this story in Leading Off. If this turns out the way it looks, they’re going to have to invent a new circle of Hell for the perp.

Honor Killing

Brother Dreher is conducting an interesting conversation about the Sarah and Amina Said murders over on the News‘ editorial blog. (And there’s a bonus! In the comments, you’ll find tips on how to navigate through the News’ website. IJS)