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RE: DMN LOSES ANOTHER SALE

You want to know why I don't care to take the paper at my house? Sherry Jacobson, that's why. The paper is in the midst of this ballyhooed "Live Better Here" makeover, and this weekend they'll start cranking out special sections that are designed to fit with my busy lifestle and connect with my needs and so on. Instead, they should just fire all the Metro columnists, then spend three months scouring the state and country for young talent to replace them. It'd be a lot cheaper.

Jacobson is new on the gig, so I'll go easy on her. Maybe her column today isn't her best work and we can expect better in the months to come. But here's the synopsis of today's installment if your lifestyle is too busy to connect with the full-length version:

"Up here in Dallas, we're usually safe from hurricanes. But we've had a few horrible storms. Remember that big flood in 1908? Or how about that doozy in 1995? Man, oh, man. In fact, I covered that 1995 storm. Let me tell you about it. My car stalled in floodwaters. I had to call 911! But then I got the car started again. The end."

[sound of violent reverse peristalsis, followed by the sound of bile mixed with bits of masticated leftover reheated chicken and rice from yesterday's lunch at Al Biernat's hitting the floor]

Tim Rogers · September 23, 2005 12:17 PM