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Which D Magazine Staffer Are You?


Long-suffering FrontBurnervians, we know what you’ve been wondering. If it came down to it, which member of the D Magazine staff could you assassinate and then slip undetected into his or her life?

Find out below with one of those quizzes that are all the rage online these days.

UPDATE: This quiz has come to an end. Check out the results:


  • Golfnfashion

    Dammit…apparently I am Tim Rogers. Lame.

  • jmckee

    Which staff member is javascript error?

  • David Burrows

    I am Liz. Sorry, Tim.

  • BradfordPearson

    I’m a Marnie.

  • CSP

    Apparently I’m Nancy, even though I’m never mistaken for a lesbian. At least as far as I know.

  • Avid Reader

    Was Todd Johnson for about 3 seconds before the deal discombobulated and now I’m Cristina. I’ll take either.

  • Buford Cluckers

    Apparently I’m Nancy Nichols. And oddly enough, I’m perfectly happy with that.

  • Sarah Eveans

    Someone wears Alexander McQueen shoes? Apparently staffers are getting paid much better than when I worked there.

  • DelkusSleeves

    Todd Johnson,

  • Cole Daugherty

    I’m the new girl (Cristina); a bear-like creature full of bourbon and muffins, wearing boots, oblivious to Instagram while at Neighborhood Services and with moderate facial hair.

  • Anonymous

    So I’ve convinced your server that I’m Tim Rogers. That’s a start. But the real question is whether I can convince his wife….

  • Wylie H Dallas

    Cristina Daglas, without the yoga.

  • Brett Moore

    I am Bradford Pearson’s inner monologue.

  • Natalie Coca

    Spot on Cristina!

  • BradfordPearson

    I’ll take it.

  • Sugarshaneman

    I got Gordon Locke. That has to be a mistake of epic proportions, right?

  • Cristina Daglas

    You should really try the yoga.

  • GG -A

    Thanks, Tristan!

    Sweety, you, as much as anyone, knows that the editorial team like to hire nubile young women, many of whom still receive allowance from Mommy and Daddy. Hi, Charlotte!

  • GG -A

    She’s not hairy. She’s Greek!

  • Borborygmus

    Does nobody there drink cactus juice? Really?

  • K Kostelny Nicklebur

    I’m Nancy! I’m classing up the family!

  • zaccrain

    I see that the wifi connection in the ivory tower remains strong as ever.

  • Eric Celeste

    I got Rod Davis.

  • Bob

    not bad for first attempt or rendition of “Buzzfeed Quizzes” = awesomeness!

  • Jack Jett

    There is no doubt I am Tim-Tim Rogers although I have never been mistaken for a lesbian. At least as far as I know.

  • Anonymous

    What the Shih?

  • Michael Mason

    What the Shih?