A Simple Proposal: Add a Petting Zoo of Real-Life Versions of NFL Mascots To Cowboys Stadium

"MY NAME IS MY NAME."
“MY NAME IS MY NAME.”

I mentioned this on Twitter earlier, which was an echo of a conversation I had with Peter Simek on, let’s see, I want to say Thursday of last week. Maybe Wednesday. It was after he got the press release announcing the unveiling of the new Anish Kapoor joint. Anyway. I started to wonder what the next step in the evolution of Cowboys Stadium, now that they’d take their whole “largest gallery in the world” thing out of doors. And then it hit me: a petting zoo of real-life versions of NFL mascots. Mainly, I guess, I mostly like the idea of some random guy from Houston stuck in there, along with, like, a guy from Cleveland named Frank Brown or something. You get the idea. But also: an eagle! A jaguar! A bear! Lots of other awesome animals and whatever we decide a titan should be! Pretty solid, right? Also, there would obviously be a giant, so we get a bit of an old P.T. Barnum situation. NOT BAD. Everything roaming together as much as is safely possible, so we have some situations like the photo I’ve included here, taken at the State Fair.

Jerry, I think you’ll see from my invoice that my consultant’s fee is pretty reasonable.