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David Dewhurst Apologizes (Kind Of) For Trying To Spring His Relative From the Hoosegow

The lieutenant governor was speaking to a group of Houston Republicans yesterday. And he had jokes:

“I was speaking to a group of police officers in the DFW area a week ago Saturday. … I said, you know, guys, I’ve decided that it’s far better to talk to police officers in person than on the phone.”

NAILED IT. He added:

“What would you do if it’s a Saturday night, it’s 9:30, 10 and two relatives call you and they’re crying?”

So glad you asked, Dave.

1) I really only answer texts, so I probably would do nothing if someone called. If someone called and they were crying, I’d get really uncomfortable and make jokes after listening to the voicemail.

2) If I were lieutenant governor or mayor (haha) or county tax assessor/collector or held any other official position and I did actually answer the phone, I’d tell them that I probably couldn’t help and that even if I thought I could, I shouldn’t because I’d probably just get both of us into trouble. Because that’s pretty much common sense. Maybe 20 years ago, you could do that. But now, you only end up with someone like me screen-capping you making faces like this and writing stupid captions:

I literally have, like, 70 different Dewhurst faces now, for pretty much all occasions.
I literally have, like, 70 different Dewhurst faces now, for pretty much all occasions.