Patrick the Gorilla Headed to South Carolina. They tried for a decade, but Dallas Zoo officials couldn’t socialize Patrick, a 23-year-old lowland gorilla. There were experiments gone wrong (he nipped the leg of a female gorilla and threw rocks at the observation glass), but despite it all he was well-liked. Now the time has come to say goodbye. Patrick is getting a going away party next weekend with cupcakes. Guests are invited to sign a card. This is just too sad for a Monday morning, but not as sad as the elephant who cried for five hours. You all saw that, right? I can’t take it.
Cowboys Win, Rangers Lose. Anyone who cares about things of this nature must already know the results of the games, but Super Bowl talk is being thrown around, so there’s that. As for the rangers, EESH. There are few worse ways to lose the division than a walkoff grand slam in extras.
UFO Sightings on the Rise. Despite a perhaps slight hesitance to report such things (Who wants to be labeled crazy? Their word, not mine.), UFO sightings climbed 27 percent last year across the country, and Texas is a nice little hotbed of activity. Scroll to the end for three cases of unidentifiable objects.
Happy Ending For Plano Balloon Festival; Plus, Red Bull Fest? After two days of trying, the balloons finally took flight Sunday. But get this, there was a national Red Bull Flutag competition in Las Colinas this weekend, the first of its kind in Dallas. Thirty teams launched homemade flying devices into the air in hopes of winning a skydiving outing.