The Walmart heiress was pulled over way back in 2011, but the trooper who pulled her over is on paid suspension and won’t be able to testify by the October 7 deadline. So she’s free to go. (Walton refused a breath test and failed a field sobriety test.) It wasn’t the first time Walton has been in trouble for drinking and driving, which I don’t get. There is no reason for her to be in that situation.
OK, so maybe she doesn’t want to hire a driver to ferry her around just in case she has had a few. But she’s the second-richest woman in America — there are so many more awesome ways to get around that problem. She could buy a helicopter to get her to and fro. She could buy a fleet of helicopters. She could hire George Clooney to fly her around using a jetpack that she could pay to have invented. She could lead an expedition into the wilds of South America to find the long-rumored race of super giants who dwell in the uncharted areas of the Amazon, just so she could capture them, transport them back to the United States, and have them give her piggyback rides whenever she wanted/needed. Wormholes. She could probably afford to make that happen. I feel like we’re close, anyway. I am literally making this up as I’m typing. She could build a working nightclub on her own property. She could build an entire entertainment district, just so she could have some options and not get bored. I mean, not everyone likes going to the same place. I kind of don’t mind, but variety is never a bad thing.
I guess my thesis statement here is: COME ON, Alice. Step yo game up.