Yesterday’s New York Times Magazine ran a short feature pitting “disgraced former J.C. Penney C.E.O.” Ron Johnson against Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. The Times said each man has his own “seminal work,” for example. Johnson’s seminal work was The Genius Bar; Hubbard’s was Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health. Each also has his own “divine creator.” Johnson’s was Steve Jobs; Hubbard’s was Xenu. (According to Scientology doctrine, Xenu was the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy who brought billions of people to earth 75 million years ago in a spacecraft that looked very much like a DC-8.) In the end, the Times says, the competition’s winner is Scientology’s Hubbard.