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The Top Five Least-Hipster Buildings in Downtown Dallas, According to Me

In the spirit of the stupidest list that’s skimmed my desk in months (“Discover the 10 Least Hipster Cities in the Country“), I present The Top Five Least-Hipster Buildings in Downtown Dallas, According to Me:

5. Renaissance Tower- I’m more of a rococo fan.

4. (TIE) Bank of America Plaza, Comerica Bank Tower – Occupy Your Mind, mannnn, and the banks will fall.

3. Fountain Place- Let that water live freely, brother, not trapped in a fountain.

2. Thanksgiving Tower- “Have you ever read ‘A People’s History of the United States?’ It’ll blow your skull. Anyway, smallpox on blankets. And they didn’t even eat turkeys.”

1. Patriot Tower- Jingoistic monsters.