Last night, I did something I swore I’d never do. I met Dallas Morning News Metro columnist Steve Blow. The reason I swore I’d never meet Steve Blow is because everyone I’ve ever talked to who has worked with the guy has told me what a swell dude he is. Over the years, I have written some very critical things about Steve Blow’s work. And I want to continue to write very critical things about Steve Blow’s work. (And here, by “critical,” I mean “snarky” and “mean” and “aggressively insulting.”) It’s hard to throw brickbats at people after you’ve met them and learned how nice they are.
So last night I went to this party, and the first person I saw when I walked through the door was Steve Blow. I put my head down and beat a path to the other side of the room, where I found a friend and told him, “Oh, God, please help me. Steve Blow is here and I need to avoid him at all costs.” Steve Blow had spotted me, though, and he spent the next hour or so deftly maneuvering his way through the party in such a way that I had no escape route. It was like a one-man half-court trap. Eventually he had me against the baseline with nowhere to go. I tried to throw the ball off his shins, but even that didn’t work. He just caught it and smiled warmly at me.
We shook hands, and I explained why meeting him caused me great pain. You know what? It was exactly as I feared. He couldn’t have been more friendly and magnanimous. Also, he’s taller than I am.
I truly hate that man.