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Making Dallas Even Better

The New Republic Suggests Reasonable Compromise on Texas Secession

Chuck Thompson, in The New Republic, isn’t belittling those who propose that Texas secede from the Union just because their favored presidential candidate lost last week’s election. If Texans are truly that unhappy, perhaps we could be given some level of semi-autonomy – like Scotland has from the U.K. – or perhaps we could become a U.S. territory along the lines of Puerto Rico or Guam.

Or maybe the solution is simply to give Texas and other secessionist-conservatives what they really want: free passage to the land of all their conservative fantasies. Send them all off with gratis one-way tickets (I’m happy to earmark some of my socialist tax dollars for the effort) to a country with: a small federal government with limited power and meager influence over the private lives of its citizens; extremely weak trade unions routinely sabotaged by the federal government (i.e., a “pro-business environment”); negligible income tax; few immigrants, legal or otherwise; a dominant Christian population, accounting for some 70 percent of the people; no mandatory health insurance or concept of universal health care; a strong social taboo surrounding homosexuality and a constitution that already states, “All individuals have the right to marry a person of their choice of the opposite sex”; and a gun culture so ubiquitous that you can find automatic weaponry displayed openly on the streets of its capital city and in many households.

Sound like a Texan secessionist’s dream? Well, it’s no dream. This country already exists. It’s called the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

I’d just like to point out that 99,721 (as of this moment) out of 25.6 million is 0.4%.  That’s less than half the percentage of the vote that Gary Johnson polled in Texas.
  • Avid Reader

    Just love how bent out of shape the left gets when anyone jokingly throws out the idea of secession.

  • mynameisbill

    I know, it’s so funny that 99,721 are OMG LOLing as they sign the petition. Silly liberals just don’t understand the nuanced humor of the right.

  • Avid Reader

    Exactly. When you essentially add a facebook page for anyone at all to throw up a petition for anything you will get what you would expect. Don’t see 7 blog posts here on Frontburner on the petition to have President Obama do the Hokey Pokey do you?

  • Jason Heid

    There’s no local angle on that one.

  • Avid Reader

    True, unfortunately no local connection with the Hokey Pokey.

  • DREGstudios

    The racism of yesteryear has come full circle in our county. The entire world embraced our choice of a black President four years ago and most nations of the world still support him. The fringe elements of Republican sect have crept through into the mainstream once again with conservative mouthpieces planting the seeds of hate. The only doubt lies here at home rooting from bigotry. Watch the white hands paint Obama in Blackface at

  • Avid Reader

    Nothing new to add to the discussion? Still just shilling your own blog?

  • Sure

    Sure, it’s about race. Come on! Could it be that it’s actually about the state of the country!?! Not everything is about race….but we know what’s on your mind now.