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Josh Hamilton Is No Longer Totally Awesome

CORRECTION: In this year’s Best of Big D issue, we named Josh Hamilton the best athlete, writing: “There is the left arm, a shoulder-mounted Howitzer. There are the wheels, fast for any player but shockingly fast for a man who stands 6-foot-4 and weighs 240 pounds. There is the bat. He hit four homers against the Orioles in early May, becoming only the 16th player in history to match that mark. Then there is the heart. Later that month, while struggling with an upper-respiratory infection that forced him to take oxygen and an IV when it was all over, Hamilton hit a 13th-inning walk-off home run to beat the Blue Jays.” As it turns out, that’s not true. A couple days ago, he said, “I still had a pretty good year. Just think if I hadn’t taken off June and July.”

Taking off two months of the season? Then came yesterday’s pathetic performance, which included an embarrassing dropped fly ball (followed by a lackadaisical effort to retrieve the thing). If he’d caught it, the fourth inning would have come to an end. Instead, two runs scored, and the A’s pulled ahead 7-5 (and proceeded to pile on five more runs before the game ended). Yes, Josh Hamilton is still big and strong and fast. But clearly his heart is weak, and he is not the best athlete in Dallas. We regret the error.

9 comments on “Josh Hamilton Is No Longer Totally Awesome

  1. His heart is not weak! That’s probably the strongest part of him. And, it was a joke about June and July. The man has an incredible sense of humor. Just leave him alone!

  2. Obviously he wants Rangers fans to hate him so he won’t seem like such a huge asshole when he leaves for more money.

  3. Fine. His heart isn’t weak. But it’s not with Dallas – and definitely not with the Rangers.

  4. @LewP: You’ll understand (and certainly other commenters will) if we delete comments that are designed solely to draw traffic to another blog. It’s not because we feel threatened by another blog. It’s because that sort of self-promotion is boorish. Especially when that blog has appropriated material from FrontBurner in the past.

  5. Jesus has plans for him to sign with the Yankees. He is this postseason’s version of CJ Wilson. Good riddance.

  6. His head is weak. That’s fine if you feel no connection with the city and want to go to the highest bidder, but don’t piss on us on your way out with your lackidasical play and idontgiveadamn demeanor. Be a man for once in your damn life and stop being selfish. Be a good husband, father, teammate, and if it’s your thing-Christian. I’m betting there is more to this story. Something stinks about him this year and when he’s playing for someone else next year, maybe we’ll find out.

    Probably something to do with those affliction shirts he wears.