So a lady was asked to leave the Grapevine Legoland because she had a racy tattoo on her leg. You can see the tat here. It depicts Tinkerbell using a light switch as a sex toy. Listen, I have a tattoo on my leg. (Where the Wild Things Are. Ask Zac. He hates it.) I’m not against tattoos. But if you’re in a place designed for children, and if you’re tattoo shows a naked lady screwing a light switch, and if they are nice to you and give you your money back — then you’ve got no complaint. Legoland is not discriminating against you. They are protecting children from smut.
Seriously, though. I do like the tat.
Mr. Joe Tone, editor of the Dallas Observer:
Perhaps you have heard of the Red Bull Soapbox Race. It is a thing. The makers of the energy drink go around the country staging soapbox races. Jumps are involved. And crazy-ass steep bobsled-like turns. You probably should watch some of the videos at that link before you even think about accepting this challenge, because some of that stuff looks dangerous, and I know you’re from out of town.
In any case, the Red Bull Soapbox Race comes through Dallas in September. Registration ends May 1. I hereby officially and actually challenge the Observer staff to a race. Red Bull has agreed to fund the construction of both our rigs (though the actual construction is up to the individual publications).
Are you scared? You look scared.
I bet right now Jim Schutze is reading this and coming up with excuses for why he can’t pilot the Observer rig in a race against me, Tim Rogers. I bet his excuse will have something to do with Detroit and the Texas Institute of Letters (whatever that is).
Be that as it may, I await your response. Good day, sir.
And so did I — a brand new collection of completely unfair (but that is in no way going to stop me) screen grabs that I have conveniently located after the jump.
There are only a few things I love more than television. Maybe this is sad. But it’s also a true fact. Another true fact is that I don’t actually watch Modern Family on any sort of regular basis. I hear good things, obviously, from everyone and his or her mom and also every Emmy broadcast from the last two years. I also really enjoyed that New York Magazine supercut of Sofia Vergara yelling.
The fact that I haven’t watched the show religiously doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t enjoy hanging out with the cast and creators and talking shop for awhile. You can sort of do this tonight at the Winspear, with the Modern Family panel that the Brinker International Forum has lined up. Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Ty Burrell, and Eric Stonestreet, members of the show’s Emmy-winning cast, will participate in a discussion about what makes their show such a hit. Co-creator and executive producer Steve Levitan will chime in, and the audience will get a chance to submit questions for the Q&A portion of the program at the end of the night. Sounds excellent. But sadly, it does not appear that the food trucks are planning to stick around the Arts District beyond lunch. Eat elsewhere before (it’s probably already too warm for my quick, close by favorite, Mai’s), or try your luck at a place in One Arts.
The last time I was in the general vicinity of Dada in Deep Ellum, some friends and I witnessed a drunken loon get laid out by a bouncer. An explanation quickly circulated–the guy was causing trouble inside, so the bouncer dragged him outside, and put him to sleep. With his fist. Moral of this story: do not cause trouble here. People just want to listen to some music, okay, and tonight Sucré (a three person endeavor with instrumentalist Jeremy Larson, Stacy King from Eisley, and Darren King of MuteMath) celebrates their recent CD release and plays a set. The band has been featured on Hello Giggles and the middle guy’s dandified get up in their press photo reminds me of someone I used to know (Gotye has ruined this phrase forever). I’m not sure if these are good or bad associations, but if you like the group, tickets are a supremely reasonable $8.
For more to do this evening, go here.
The DMN‘s Robert T. Garrett is wrong about Tom Leppert’s new Senate-primary ad, where the former Dallas mayor dismisses his opponents as “empty suits.” Garrett says the spot is weak. But it’s actually the best one Leppert’s done yet, perfect for the TV-commercial genre, where a punchy, superficial, easily grasped message is prized above all. (Since Leppert’s talking about suits, though, shouldn’t he really have been wearing his trademark gangster one?)
Talk about an anticlimax. Blockbuster, the down-on-its-luck video-rental chain, is moving its corporate headquarters from McKinney to Denver, taking a bunch of good-paying jobs with it. Meantime Jim Keyes, the former CEO who led the company into bankruptcy, said the other day that he’s working on a start-up retail operation, but isn’t ready to announce anything yet. Presumably it won’t involve renting movies.
Pilar Sanders Arrested for Assaulting Deion. This is the world we live in. A family situation gets so ugly that a mom goes to jail for getting violent. And then a news outlet reports the mess using the Twitter feed from the dad. From WFAA: “‘It’s sad my boys witnessed this mess, but I warned the police department here that she was gone [sic] try n harm me and my boys,’ according to another of the tweets from Sanders’ account.” I’m gone to move on to the next item.
Grenade Found in Box of Old Clothes. A family in Haltom City found an experimental WW2-era grenade in a box of old clothes. When a woman brought the bomb, called a Beano, to police, they promptly evacuated their building.
Dallas Talks About Building Better Sidewalks. The Complete Streets plan, which is designed to make 15 Dallas streets a little friendlier for people, will cost $39 million. You’ll have a chance to vote on it in November. Please say yes.