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Things To Do In Dallas This Weekend: Dec. 9-11

You guys. This week’s winning Art & Seek Flickr picture instantly made me want go play in the Neiman Marcus crawl tubes. The unfortunate thing is that much like the terrible fruity cereal I would only eat out of desperation, this holiday portal of fun is reserved for people much younger than myself. I have been known to shop in the kids section, but hey. No problem. I’ll attach a spy cam to my little cousin and send her in. She’s ten, and delights in two things: borrowing my shoes, and forcing me to stand back-to-back to see how much “almost taller” she is.

Friday

Finally! A show that has nothing to do with Christmas. Theatre 3 opened their production of La Bête yesterday, David Hirson’s tongue-twisting, mildly exhausting foray into the world of iambic pentameter. I’m interested in this for a few reasons, and it’s worth your time to give it a shot even though the reviews haven’t yet come in. Number one, though the writing is remarkable, this play is tricky. The basic plot follows a Molière-esque intellectual who’s forced to allow a buffoon with a penchant for potty humor join his prestigious comedy troupe. Any play with an hour-long monologue that manages to A) rhyme and B) keep the audience entertained gets a thumbs up, but the actor who can pull it off deserves a standing ovation. And that actor is tough to come by.

The other reason I want to see La Bête is because I think I’ve already seen a nigh-unbeatable production of it. The recent Broadway combo of Mark Rylance (his unbelievable performance of the aforementioned monologue was met with stunned silence, and then uproarious applause), David Hyde Pierce, and Joanna Lumley might be impossible to live up to. But I have high hopes.

Saturday

I do this thing every Christmas where I think of amazing gifts to give people I once knew but either don’t really know that well anymore or now loathe entirely. I derive weird satisfaction from knowing that they will never receive these awesome presents, and I get so involved with these fictional scenarios that I forget about buying presents for people I actually like. I need to snap out of it pronto, so to help, there’s the White Rock Holiday Market. Nancy listed all the items and goods available here, but go for seasonal produce, homemade pasta (one of my favorite things to get my dad, my favorite Italian chef), and handmade jewelry (which takes care of my best friend, Meagan, since she loves cool earrings). Done. (Well, not quite, but getting there.)

In the evening, bundle up the kids and head to the Lakewood Theater for the Polyphonic Spree’s Holiday Extravaganza. There will be reindeer, tap-dancing grannies from Denton, and a man who looks like Santa available to pose for pictures. And, of course, there’s the Spree. Tim DeLaughter’s merry band of elves will play two sets, one Christmas music, one rock ‘n roll. If you’re feeling extra kind, please bring a new toy to donate to Toys for Tots, and canned good for the North Texas Food Bank. You can do this, or travel back in time with Dallas Heritage Village’s old-timey Christmas at Old City Park. It’s a calming candlelit evening of carriage rides, carols, and tales of yore. Baked goodies will be available for purchase.

Sunday

Before Paris Hilton went and made a mockery of the genre with Repo! The Genetic Opera, there was Christmas Eve and Other Stories, the Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s debut rock opera that remains by far the band’s most popular album. That’s why the TSO always seems to show up around the holidays, ready and willing to perform “Christmas Eve (Sarajevo 12/24).” I have mixed memories of this song from middle school band concerts. Little known fact: I played the French horn. Not all that well, I promise. Anyway, it’d be nice to put those traumatic days behind me once and for all, and I think hearing TSO play it live would do the trick nicely. They’re in town at the American Airlines Center, and you can still get tickets.

For more to do with your weekend, go here. Have a good one.