A Vacation Dispatch From Nancy Nichols in Fiji

Uncle Nancy is on vacation someplace in Fiji. She sent an update on her travels (and travails) to the staff. Along for the ride on Nancy’s vacation is none other than that turncoat Evan Grant, baseball scribe for the Morning News. I thought I’d share Nancy’s letter because it made me laugh (I had to dash out some of the swear words):

Well, I lasted almost two days without typing. Greetings from Fiji, where bula means “hi” and vanaka means “thanks!” Also golaka means “wine” and Ambien translates directly as “Ambien,” the miracle cure jet lag and Evan’s snoring. Evan and I traveled packed in a flying tin can for 22 hours, and we are still talking. BUT there have been lots of claw displays. Don’t tell him I said this, but he doesn’t want to sit on a lounge chair on the beach because “the beach is too sandy.” True.

Here is what I have learned about Fiji so far:

Young Australians have lots of little crying babies. Lots. Like, four each. They all like to eat breakfast at the same time that we do.

Australian babies are more obnoxious than American babies. The pitch of their cry is ear-shattering. I now understand why dingoes like to eat them.

Australian men are hot.

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