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Former Dallas Maverick Shawn Bradley Still Can’t Finish Anything

Did you know former Maverick center/terrible basketball-playing person was running for a seat in the Utah state legislature? Well, he was. Until he lost yesterday. It was such a dramatic turn of events it warranted one sentence in the AP story I just linked to (well, two if you count when he was anonymously grouped with Chris Dudley as “two former NBA centers”).

Also, I find it both fitting and hilarious that the AP couldn’t find ONE photo of him doing something productive on a basketball court, so they just went with him fighting over a loose ball, a loose ball that very likely resulted from someone making a perfect entry pass into the post, the kind of pass a baby penguin could easily secure, and then, because he was seemingly born without functional muscular and/or nervous systems, he immediately coughed up said pass through no effort on the part of his defender, which in this instance is a man a foot shorter than him, and mostly known for running around a billion screens to take a jumpshot, and really in no way for his defensive prowess, even though his nickname is “Rip” and that would sort of connote he actually is good at such things as “ripping” the ball away from an opponent, even though this isn’t really the case and the nickname derives from something else entirely.

ANYWAY, I can’t tell if it was a landslide or what from that uninformative piece. But as a Mavericks fan, I hope it was as embarrassing to Bradley as this was to the Mavericks and anyone there that night.

3 comments on “Former Dallas Maverick Shawn Bradley Still Can’t Finish Anything

  1. HAA! I was definitely there that night and it was probably the most schoolyard reaction I’ve ever heard at a pro sporting event.. The oohs. The aaahhs. The snickers that in many parts of the arena turned to cackling.. Never before have I been more satisfied to see my own guy get punked.

  2. I didn’t know the tall guy from SpaceJam was a real player. Learn something new everyday.

  3. This brings back memories of how often Bradley used to fall down — sometimes because he got bumped, or took too many steps in a row, but often for no discernible reason whatsoever. I remember thinking, Wow, a big guy like that falling over? That’s gotta hurt.