A Case of Spontaneous Generation?

A law-practicing FrontBurnervian has an interesting wildlife scenario unfolding in his backyard. I figured someone here could help:

I recently noticed two bluegills swimming among our koi and goldfish in our pond. We live near a creek — but far enough away that it would be a fairly long trek for two fish to flop. Plus, they would have to scale a stone wall. My wife points to their appearance as further support of her virgin-birth explanation for our first and third children. I pointed out that the bluegills’ appearance would technically fall in the category of spontaneous generation, and didn’t we agree that we weren’t going to talk about that anymore? Does anyone in the FrontBurner nation have a theory on how they got there? The fish, that is.

17 comments

  1. 1. Someone catches fish in a lake
    2. Someone puts fish in bucket.
    3. Someone transports fish to your neighborhood.
    4. Someone dumps bucket of fish in your pond.

    @ 4:38 pm on November 11, 2009
  2. you can thank our friend the duck. the duck can transport the small fry and roe under their feathers. ducks will pick them up at other area watering holes and deposit them into your backyard water feature.

    @ 4:40 pm on November 11, 2009
  3. This is a little-known phenom, but it happens in Dallas because the water system is so old and Dallas’ water comes from so many sources. The bluegill are pulled into the intake pipes at source lakes and flow right into the system — nothing in the “cleansing” process harms them because it cannot be harmful to people. The fish survive and flow from spigots and faucets. In some areas of Dallas it is not uncommon to find fish in the bottom of your tub after a shower, particularly the hardy bluegill. Also, they may appear in your toilet — accounting for the odd “splashing” at night after you’ve gone to bed.
    Texas Parks & Wildlife has teamed with the Corps of Engineers to study this. You may be required to send a soil sample to Texas A&M if your neighborhood is designated as a “Transient Acquatic Observation Zone.”

    @ 5:03 pm on November 11, 2009
  4. Flying saucers is my guess.

    @ 5:06 pm on November 11, 2009
  5. I’d need an engagement letter and billing code before I discuss this with the FrontBurnervian.

    @ 5:08 pm on November 11, 2009
  6. Was Don Knotts seen in the vicinity?

    @ 6:13 pm on November 11, 2009
  7. @ Cecil McDermit and Publicnewssense: Both explanations intrigue me. Thank you. I wonder if both might be plausible.

    @ 7:42 pm on November 11, 2009
  8. Herons, ducks, anything that migrates from pond to pond can and will be the DART of the fish world.

    It happens all the time. BTW, you’ve never heard a Koi owner scream and cuss until you’ve heard a Koi owner see a heron in their pond.

    @ 8:02 pm on November 11, 2009
  9. publicnewssense: you’ve gotta freakin’ be kidding me with that explanation! Very funny, and I think about half the people who read it actually believed it.

    Has ANYONE ever heard of ANYONE finding a fish in their toilet or bathtub?!

    @ 9:27 pm on November 11, 2009
  10. Your wife still hasn’t told you?

    @ 10:22 pm on November 11, 2009
  11. “Also, they may appear in your toilet — accounting for the odd ’splashing’ at night after you’ve gone to bed.”

    publicnewssense: You had me on the hook, so to speak, until that line. Sorry, but I’m just not biting!

    @ 10:33 pm on November 11, 2009
  12. Agreeing with harvey lacey. Fish eggs, frog eggs, etc., stick to wading bird’s feet. Its been my observation that goldfish die pretty quickly in a chlorinated swimming pool although they’re pretty tolerant of poorly oxygenated water. I find it hard to believe that native fish could survive physical barriers such as screens plus chlorination and survive to make it to a house’s tub. A snake up the sewer, yes. A fish in the water pipe, no.

    @ 10:39 pm on November 11, 2009
  13. Definitely birds. I hardly ever find fish in the bathtub.

    @ 10:42 pm on November 11, 2009
  14. Just watch. I bet his wife is now going to claim that it was a swan that did it.

    @ 9:15 am on November 12, 2009
  15. Greg, Jackson:
    I only try to use my powers for good. Still, something does splash in the night, eh?

    @ 10:47 am on November 12, 2009
  16. The duck explanation is plausible, but the most likely explanation is that the bluegills have been there all along. They were added when the koi and goldfish were added. They may have been guppy-sized or smaller at the time, and the owner did not notice them until they grew larger.

    @ 11:22 am on November 12, 2009
  17. dna test much?

    @ 4:16 pm on November 13, 2009

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