I could help y’all with that roach…

Pour some Monster on the roach, Moore.

I’d be glad to pitch in by killing the person(s) responsible for that carpet. Good god, y’all.

Ahh…college memories. I lived with 3 room mates (male) on Duval in Austin in the mid 80’s in a apartment near water. Water bugs/roaches galore. My funny memory is this: Even as we might be power dating/drinking heroic adn stupid amounts/benching 220 (yes Pounds Baby. We were young!) roaches still could change the landscape quickly. My very -not- sophisticated trick : I would kill a roach (New Balance to roach back until a slight crunch) and place deceased roach into a napkin with about 3/4 of the carcass exposed (napkin of course because I was too scared and disgusted to ever touch one “bare”) and place the trophy several inches in front of the faces of my roomies or their guest’s faces while they were watching b.ball, Days of Our Lives, etc. I would also yell…” this roach is frigging stinging me; for Pete’s sale Help!” A well placed roach can make very young men scream like a little girl I tell you. Roaches = One of God’s ultimate primal fears.

Grumpy, I used to call my husband (who was then my boyfriend and a medical student at Columbia) and make him take the subway from 168th Street in New York City down to 116th and Broadway when I was at Columbia’ J-School to kill my roaches. I am from Chicago; we don’t have roaches. But my NYC apartment was rife with them — flying roaches, crawling roaches, roaches who protested with little signs, roaches who smoked and snorted. Swear to God some hissed. So he’d come down and kill the darn thing (if we could still find it) and then he’d say well gosh it’s late, now I’ll have to spend the night. Totally took advantage of me. Later I found out he used to place roach carcasses around just so I’d call him. I actually married this man. PS: I nuked this roach today — made a little gas chamber with Bengal Roach Spray. He’s gone. RIP.

Clever lad Doc E he is!