Cowboys clavicle-breaker Tony Romo is in this (and Dez Bryant, for a second), so that’s more than enough reason to post it. Enjoy.Read More
Well, that didn’t take long — just eight days, by my count. That’s how long it took the newly launched, Onion-style Dallas parody news site Dallas Brisket to go from making up funny fake headlines about local events to just printing stuff that actually happens in Dallas.
If you missed it, Dallas Brisket launched on August 25 with a few laudable headline zings. “After Three Weeks, District Attorney Susan Hawk Found at Her Desk,” read the inaugural headline, quickly followed up with “Wylie H. Dallas Stops Giving a Sh*t After Reading Facebook Comments.” Not bad. They made me laugh.Read More
I’ve lived in Texas for most of the past 30 years, and I’ve never used the word “hoss.” Don’t know that I’ve heard it spoken aloud — except maybe on TV? But Slate came up with a convoluted process for declaring the official slang words of each state, and “hoss” is what we get.Read More
The Canadian radio show That is That is basically an audio Onion. In this week’s episode, in addition to reporting on a family in Washington State that is allowing its child to self-identify as whatever species it would like, the radio jokesters report on a new luxury freeway in Texas.
The conceit of the joke: Texans love to drive and a lot of them are rich, and so a few would probably be willing shell out extra $65,000 to drive on a road from Dallas to Houston that is reserved for people who can buy their way into an elite motorist clique. “Just feels good to get out there and drive with like minded people, I guess,” one interviewed character says. And another: “I take great comfort that everyone on the road has insurance.”Read More
The North Central Texas Council of Governments has launched a survey to help gather information from the public and inform the completion of their Mobility 2040 transportation plan. Always willing to throw in my two cents about things like like transportation master plans, I clicked through the link in the email I received eager to click some boxes and hit submit. The survey is simple enough, just 6 little questions. Only when I went to answer them I noticed that the answers I wanted to submit weren’t options. Bah. Oh well. I figured I’d just post my survey on FrontBurner instead so that I can add-in the answers I want to send to the COG. Here we go:Read More
We’re used to hearing about the strides being made in the revitalization of Fort Worth’s downtown and Sundance Square, and the city does deserve credit for its efforts. However, it’s not like our neighbor to the west is a shining light of urban planning. In fact, it’s doing remarkably well in a tournament of dubious distinction, Streetsblog’s annual Parking Madness tournament.
The tournament pits 16 cities against each other who “vie for the coveted Golden Crater, awarded to the most horrendous pit of parking to blight an American downtown.” And Fort Worth is performing solidly, leading its elite eight showdown against Tampa. Here’s what gives Fort Worth an edge:Read More
When I looked for the ForwardDallas Comprehensive Plan on the city’s website, I was directed to the page you see above. No wonder we don’t follow our plan—you can’t even find a copy on the city’s website.Read More
On Friday, we mentioned the Dallas Morning News’ story about how many of the supporters of the Trinity Toll Road had gone silent since a consumer advocacy group called the proposed road a boondoggle. Well, over the weekend, the DMN’s transportation writer, Brandon Formby, filed a follow-up. Road supporters are now talking, and if you need proof that they are scrambling to come up with any justification for this thing or apply antiquated thinking to its planning, then here it is. Basically, NCTCOG transportation director Michael Morris argues that we need the toll road not because it will substantially relieve congestion along the I-35 corridor (which traffic projections say it won’t) but because it will increase congestion on some streets, decrease on others, and otherwise shift traffic around in a way that will improve economic development. Here’s the breakdown of how Morris believes the road will impact traffic patterns:Read More
A streetcar system blanketing the city. Crowded downtown streets. A Trinity River Project without a toll road. Frog town. The cafes of Deep Ellum in the era of Blind Lemon Jefferson. Mayors who were Swiss abolitionists and former socialist utopians. Dallas was WAY hipper a hundred years or so ago. So that’s my suggestion for any and all conversation about where this city should head: let’s just try to make it more like it was.
What sparked this random, useless thought? Well, there’s more depressing news today about failed plans here, here, and here. But then I saw this post about Lake Cliff Park in Oak Cliff, which, in the brochure that dates to 1906, looks a lot cooler than anything that’s in Dallas today (seriously, it had the world’s largest roller skating rink). So let’s start there: bring back Lake Cliff Park as Dallas’ Coney Island. Anyway. Blah. Of course there was also the rampant racism, oligarchical governance, and all that other fun stuff. But, from an urban planning and land use perspective, this city had it figured out (oh, except for, you know, not paving the streets of or extending sanitation to West Dallas or Little Mexico — but come on, I’m trying to be nostalgic here). So what’s the biggest difference between yesterday’s Dallas and today? You know it: highways. Had to get that in there. Gratuitous. I know. Okay, I’m going back to trying to write about this.
The video won’t embed, and the headline pretty much says everything you want to know. This is why God invented screen-grabs.Read More
Last week, employees at a Walmart in Corsicana discovered that a 14-year-old boy had been living in makeshift campsites tucked behind baby products or stacks of paper products for two days. Police say the teenager was a runaway who has history of fleeing his home and holing up in creeks and abandoned houses. I have a different theory: the boy is Dallas’ best performance artist. Here’s why.Read More
“This is how we get our name back,” Joe Ondrusek Jr. whispers to his cousin, Donny. “This is it. Right here, right now. You ready?” Donny’s hand tightens around the handle of his black Ka-Bar knife. “As soon as you shut up,” he whispers back. Donny and Joe Jr. are lying next to each other […]Read More
How the end begins.Read More
It’s 8 a.m. and Mike Snyder is in a suit and tie. It’s a habit he can’t shake, even though he doesn’t really need it anymore. He wakes up at 6, and goes through his workout routine — 10 pushups, 10 sit-ups, and, every other day, 10 jumping jacks. Then the former NBC Channel 5 […]Read More