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Apparently, the ‘Apparently’ Kid Is Headed to the State Fair of Texas

On Monday’s episode of Ellen DeGeneres’ daytime talk show, she had Noah Ritter — the 5-year-old Pennsylvania boy whose local TV news interview at a county fair went viral this summer. It was his second appearance, and as my wife and I were watching it last night (it’s her TiVo season pass, not mine), he was so delightful to watch that I remarked that Ellen ought to send him around the country as a roving reporter.

Ellen agreed with me, as right at the end of the interview (jump to about the 11-minute mark in this video) she announced that she’s sending Noah to report on the State Fair of Texas. The show was likely taped late last week, so keep an eye out for the kid roaming around Dallas and Fair Park.

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D Magazine’s 40 Greatest Stories: Bowling For Dollars

There used to be a TV game show on which people — ordinary human beings like you and me — would hurl balls at pins in the hopes of winning cash. It was called, in the parlance of the day, Bowling For Dollars. Meanwhile, other human beings — also, presumably, like you and me — would have sent in postcards with their names on them in the hopes of sharing in the winnings if some lucky amateur bowler managed two strikes in a row.

I was going to write about the oddity of this format sustaining a daily program, but then I remembered that we live in an age of televised naked daters and naked survivalists, so who are we to judge? (After all, I know what you’re thinking at this moment: Why hasn’t naked bowling reached the airwaves yet?)

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The Good Guys: A Look Back

Four years ago around this time, you could have tuned into Fox on a Monday night and watched an hour-long action-comedy called The Good Guys, shot in Dallas and set in a semi-accurate but definitely made-for-TV version of Dallas. Prior to its debut in June 2010, I spent some time on the set and wrote several thousand words about the show. Some of those words were dedicated to what The Good Guys could do for our city, both economically and culturally. It could give the city’s rank-and-file members of the TV and film production community steady work and maybe (maybe!) change people’s perception of Dallas, the ideas formed by J.R. Ewing’s various machinations and Chuck Norris doing spinning axe kicks in a cowboy hat.

Well, it didn’t.

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Kacy Catanzaro Destroys American Ninja Warrior

Okay, yes, I watch American Ninja Warrior. My only defense: I have an 8-year-old girl and a 15-year-old boy. It’s hard to find programming on which the whole family can agree (the wife will tell you that she gets no vote whatsoever). And, yes, while watching Monday’s broadcast, I cried. Teared up, really. But let’s not quibble. My defense on that front: I cry easily.

Monday’s show was the Dallas finals. Never has a woman completed a full course. On Monday, 5-foot-tall, 100-pound Kacy Catanzaro did it. Truly amazing. See for yourself:

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Casting Call for New Dallas-Based Reality Show: $30,000 Millionaires

Remember Jay Gormley, the one-time reporter for Channel 11? Remember his movie idea, $30,000 Millionaires, a comedy about “five vacuous Dallas bachelors striving to maintain upscale lifestyles via maxed-out credit cards”? It looks like it will become a reality [pause] show on television. The producers of Jersey Shore, The Osbournes, and Punk’d are planning to shoot the show in Dallas. From the casting call:

We are in search of Dallasites making less than $40k a year who are clever, creative, and resourceful enough to live like rock stars on a shoestring budget for an all new television series! Despite the bad economy, you have a pimpin’ ride, you’re dressed to the nines, and can make it on the guest list at the hottest clubs in town. How do you do it? Show the rest of the world how to “fake it until you make it!”

I think former city councilman Dave Nuemann should apply. Show ’em how he used his old city-issued parking pass to park for free all over town! Show ’em how he duped the Police and Fire Pension System to give him a $5,000-per-month contract to do nothing! I’d watch.

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Erykah Badu Crashes NYC Newscast

Hat tip to Central Track for bringing me (and by extension you) this video of Erykah Badu jacking around with a guy doing a standup in New York City. Check out both the Vine and the YouTube versions. Girl was determined to get some play.

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Brett Shipp Still Looks Good in His Oakleys

We first took note of Brett Shipp’s penchant for reporting from behind his sunglasses in 2011, when we saw the delightful video of John Wiley Price shoving the Channel 8 newsman. We’ve brought up his eyewear a few times since. Last night he was at it again, this time wearing his Oakleys while knocking on someone’s door who didn’t want to talk to him. I am posting this screen grab because the Oakleys situation is important, and you need to be aware of it.

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Dazed and Confused on Al Jazeera America

FrontBurnervians who know me as a reactionary, mediocrity-defending supporter of Texas conservative things might be surprised by my appearance last night on Al Jazeera America’s Real Money with Ali Velshi show, talking about Toyota. (Al Jazeera’s the outfit that took over Al Gore’s old cable channel, Current TV.) Between sputtering something about how “shops” will benefit from the Toyota move—and a record number of “Uh’s” (Jeanne Prejean counted 47, I think)—I also neglected to correct the (substitute) host when he called me the editor of D magazine. (Sorry, Cristina!) I don’t think Cal Jillson has anything to worry about.

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Have You Ever Watched Ask the Undertaker?

I happened on a commercial for it the other night and, as I regularly sleep on my couch and have pretty mundane dreams that usually involve either work or me being put into some sort of Die Hard scenario or both, I felt like I was dreaming it. But, no. It’s real, tackling topics such as “What would happen if you died today?” and “Do you deserve to have a funeral?” and “The art of embalming.”

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Carol Burnett, Julie Andrews on Dallas: ‘We Mean it With No Malice, But the Rest of Texas Is a Mess’

In the sharp NY Times article Cristina links to below, mention is made of a Julie Andrews and Carol Burnett skit about Dallas: The wives of these men — socialites and homemakers, Junior Leaguers and ex-debutantes — were no different; in fact, they were possibly even more extreme. (After all, there’s a reason Carol Burnett […]

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