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Making Dallas Even Better

Podcast: LeeAnne Locken of Real Housewives of Dallas on Her Carny Past and the Show’s Future

Despite all that Tim has written in each of of his episode recaps of the first three installments of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Dallas, series star LeeAnne Locken was game to appear at the Old Monk on Thursday afternoon to chat about the show — and game enough for another cringe-inducing (for me anyway) game of iPhone roulette.

Before you listen to what turned out to be the second-longest episode in the illustrious history of EarBurner, please note:

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The Real Housewives of Dallas Episode 2 Recap

I won’t bore you with a full recounting of the trouble I had last night with my DVR and how that forced me to get creative to watch the show in a way that allowed me to pause and rewind it. Nor will I vent my spleen over having to miss the Mavs’ improbable 1-point Game 2 victory over the Thunder so that I could instead watch a show about women wearing hats. No, no. I am here to serve. You want nothing but a recap of Episode 2. Or should I say Episode Number 2? Because the theme last night was decidedly and unrelentingly scatological. Though, to be fair, semen did play a minor role, too.

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What We Saw at Last Night’s Real Housewives of Dallas Premiere

The elegant lighting and soft R&B set a glamorous scene for “The Real Housewives of Dallas” premiere last night at the Chandelier Room. While the press tested their microphones and asked “what’s that one’s name again?” to one another, I took a lap around the venue.

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Anna Paquin Is in Town, Filming an ABC Pilot Called Broken

An alert FrontBurnervian asked if I knew what production has this morning taken over a spot at Turtle Creek and Avondale. She said there are probably 16 trucks, craft services, the whole deal. When I said, “Um, I dunno,” she tracked down the answer. Anna Paquin is filming a pilot for an ABC series called Broken. Here’s how Variety describes it:

Broken follows a ruthless Dallas divorce attorney, Gemma (Paquin), as her life begins to unravel when her emotionally damaged, love-addicted sister resurfaces, triggering self-destructive tendencies and exposing long-hidden family secrets. Paquin’s character is described as one of the most sought-after divorce attorneys in Dallas.

So it’s a comedy, then. Let’s hope it gets picked up.

What To Watch on TV Tonight: Feherty Interviews Bush

Golf person David Feherty has written the occasional story for D Magazine. Back in 2009, he wrote an essay for us about George W. Bush moving back to Dallas. Perhaps that essay is what convinced the former president to sit down with Feherty for an interview that will air tonight on Feherty’s Golf Channel show, which is called Feherty. Below, if you care, you can read a press release about the episode and about how well Feherty is doing in the ratings. For now, here’s a taste of what you can expect tonight.

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Leon Bridges Sings For Squarespace

Grammy-losing artist Leon Bridges (profiled in the June 2015 issue of D Magazine) appeared in a new ad for Squarespace that debuted last night during the recording industry’s awards broadcast. Directed by photographer Danny Clinch, it depicts Bridges’ transition from dishwasher to touring musician.

What does this have to do with building websites? Beats me. But there are worse ways to spend a minute of a commercial break.

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Ben Stiller Invited Laura Bush to an Orgy

Ben Stiller told Stephen Colbert last night on the Late Show that he tried to get former First Lady Laura Bush to appear in a scene in his new comedy, Zoolander 2, which opens in theaters tomorrow.

Stiller had met Bush five years ago, and she’d told him she was a fan of the original Zoolander movie. So naturally he thought of her when he was looking to cast unexpected cameos in an orgy scene. You can see what he had in mind. The contrast of her squeaky-clean image with the surrounding debauchery might’ve played for a laugh. She declined.

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Investigation Discovery Dramatizes Lois Pearson’s Horrific Ordeal

I wasn’t aware until just now, when we saw a surge of weekday TV viewers visiting our June 2012 story about the kidnapping and torture of Lois Pearson in Corsicana, that the Investigation Discovery series Your Worst Nightmare produced an episode about the horrific tale.

“Neighbor From Hell” first aired on Dec. 23. Much of the episode comprises dramatizations of Pearson’s ill-fated interactions with Jeffrey Maxwell, but among the talking heads interviewed to offer commentary is our own Michael J. Mooney:

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First Look at the Dallas of 11/22/63

If you’ve forgiven the Hulu adaptation of Stephen King’s novel — about a time traveler who aims to prevent the assassination of President John F. Kennedy — for snarling traffic downtown last October, you might want to check it out when it drops on the streaming site on Feb. 15.

Hulu today released the first full-blown trailer for 11/22/63. Of particular interest is its CGI re-creation of the Dallas skyline of 1963:

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All Clichés Are Bigger in Texas Award Nominee: The Day We’ve Long Dreaded Is Here

Bravo made it official this afternoon:

But there’s even more Housewives to enjoy in 2016! Stay tuned for details on The Real Housewives of Dallas, which will debut later next year. And, yes, the series will certainly confirm that everything — including the drama — is bigger in Texas.

God help us all.

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D Magazine’s Catherine Downes Judges Cooking Channel’s Big Bad BBQ Battle

Last week the ever-humble Catherine Downes, our online dining editor, didn’t bother mentioning to us that the reality TV competition that she participated in (as a judge) earlier this year was airing on Sunday night. And, busy as many of us were hobnobbing with the media elite this weekend, I didn’t get a chance to see it until today. Though I’m not even sure I receive the Cooking Channel at my home anyway.

Catherine was great deciding whether Cousins Bar-B-Q bested the roving chef from Brooklyn around whom the entire two-episode “series” is contrived. You can see her beginning just after the 18-minute mark. I was surprised to learn that she’s apparently been moonlighting for “Dallas Magazine.”

The show filmed the day of this year’s Snowmaggedon, and it took poor Catherine nearly three hours to drive to the location in Fort Worth and another couple hours to drive back home to Dallas. They didn’t pay her nearly enough for this.

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Who Will Star in Bravo’s Ladies of Dallas?

If you haven’t heard, Bravo has a new reality show in the works called Ladies of Dallas. No air date yet. But it sounds perfectly horrible, like everything else that airs on Bravo. Here’s how the network describes it:

“From glamorous galas to scintillating scandals, and supersized spending habits, life in the elite tier of the Dallas social scene is hard to crack, and even harder to maintain. Whether driven by vanity, personal validation, or career advancement, these Lone Star ladies all share the same goal- to climb the social ladder and stay on top.”

So the question is: who will be the ladies of Dallas?

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