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Making Dallas Even Better

The Antidote to The Real Housewives of Dallas Is in Fictional Annville, Texas

I may be a couple of weeks late to the party, but the new AMC show Preacher is spectacular. Like in a Kill Bill meets True Blood in Fargo if Fargo took place in West Texas kind of way. Granted, I may like TV more than most. And my guilty pleasure was Banshee. (I mean, a badass transvestite computer hacker taking on a fake Native American tribe and the Amish mob? What’s not to like.) But this is quality programming. And I believe I can write about it because the fictional town of Annville, Texas, where it takes place is located just west of Mineral Wells, according to Siri.

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The Real Housewives of Dallas Episode 8 Recap

Yesterday, to celebrate Memorial Day, I played golf. I shot a 40 on the front nine at Tenison Highlands. Pretty good little start to the day. But after that, everything went to hell. I shot a 48 on the back nine and then used a digital image of my scorecard to try to pick a Twitter fight with Ed Bark because the day previous he’d declared that Jordan Spieth had finished the Dean & DeLuca Invitational with the best three-hole stretch of his career, which was patently ridiculous. But Bark is a Marine Corps vet. I shouldn’t have been hassling him on Twitter. After my round, I went back to the house and threw out my back while cleaning my gutters. Karma. Plus, I had a reaction, I think, to all the catkins in the gutters and started feeling sick. Then, while my wife went to have dinner with a bunch of our friends, I had to stay home and watch The Real Housewives of Dallas. Episode 8 was titled “Hollman Holiday.” It did not cheer me up.

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Leading Off (5/24/16)

Susan Hawk in Houston indefinitely. The Dallas County District Attorney, who returned to the Menninger Clinic in Houston due to severe depression, doesn’t have a return date set yet. She was treated there last year before resuming her work in Dallas. Messina Madson, Hawk’s top prosecutor, will deal with daily office goings-on in the meantime.

Loose dogs captured in Oak Cliff. The loose dog problem continued when two dogs allegedly bit a man in east Oak Cliff yesterday morning. Police and animal control officers ended up capturing the dogs after fending the dogs off themselves.

High-speed internet coming to southern dallas. AT&T is aiming to bring high-speed internet to southern Dallas neighborhoods, which will help residents and businesses become more connected. Executives from AT&T are announcing the plan at a press conference this morning at Dallas City Hall. Mayor Rawlings says this shows that major companies are now concentrating on southern Dallas.

Dallas bachelorette JoJo Fletcher begins her journey to find love. The 25-year-old’s season premiered last night. It entailed a man riding in on a horse dressed as a unicorn, a guy wearing a kilt, another guy dressed as Santa Claus, and, obviously, alcohol-fueled antics. Good luck, JoJo.

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Byron Nelson Report: Real Housewives of Dallas Edition

For most people at the AT&T Byron Nelson, the action is on the course. But for a lucky few, the real fun happens in the homes that line the TPC Four Seasons. Saturday is always the biggest house-party day, and yesterday was no exception. The best parties are in homes that look out at holes 3, 16, and 17. This year, though, the mansion off 17 that typically hosts the tournament’s biggest bash was silent. A “for sale” sign stood out front.

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T.D. Jakes Aiming to Bring His New Talk Show to Dallas—Eventually

Bishop T.D. Jakes won’t be taping his new daytime talk show in Dallas, at least in the beginning. But he says he hopes to bring the production from Los Angeles to his adopted hometown eventually, just as Oprah did her top-rated, long-running talk show from Chicago. Jakes’ secular program, which is scheduled to debut this fall in cities including Dallas, Atlanta, and Cleveland, will be produced and distributed by Tegna Inc. (formerly Gannett) unit Tegna Media and feature a mix of celebrities and “regular people,” Jakes said last week at a Dallas charity event. (Specifically, it was a pre-party at somebody’s house for Friday’s Genesis Women’s Shelter luncheon and featured a performance by C&W singer LeAnn Rimes.) Jakes’ hour-long syndicated show will be aired initially in markets covering “60 percent of the country,” he added. An author, pastor, businessman, and filmmaker, Jakes founded Dallas’ Potter’s House mega-church, which claims 30,000 members. The pastor also is said to have 5 million followers on social media.

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Podcast: LeeAnne Locken of Real Housewives of Dallas on Her Carny Past and the Show’s Future

Despite all that Tim has written in each of of his episode recaps of the first three installments of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Dallas, series star LeeAnne Locken was game to appear at the Old Monk on Thursday afternoon to chat about the show — and game enough for another cringe-inducing (for me anyway) game of iPhone roulette.

Before you listen to what turned out to be the second-longest episode in the illustrious history of EarBurner, please note:

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The Real Housewives of Dallas Episode 2 Recap

I won’t bore you with a full recounting of the trouble I had last night with my DVR and how that forced me to get creative to watch the show in a way that allowed me to pause and rewind it. Nor will I vent my spleen over having to miss the Mavs’ improbable 1-point Game 2 victory over the Thunder so that I could instead watch a show about women wearing hats. No, no. I am here to serve. You want nothing but a recap of Episode 2. Or should I say Episode Number 2? Because the theme last night was decidedly and unrelentingly scatological. Though, to be fair, semen did play a minor role, too.

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What We Saw at Last Night’s Real Housewives of Dallas Premiere

The elegant lighting and soft R&B set a glamorous scene for “The Real Housewives of Dallas” premiere last night at the Chandelier Room. While the press tested their microphones and asked “what’s that one’s name again?” to one another, I took a lap around the venue.

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Anna Paquin Is in Town, Filming an ABC Pilot Called Broken

An alert FrontBurnervian asked if I knew what production has this morning taken over a spot at Turtle Creek and Avondale. She said there are probably 16 trucks, craft services, the whole deal. When I said, “Um, I dunno,” she tracked down the answer. Anna Paquin is filming a pilot for an ABC series called Broken. Here’s how Variety describes it:

Broken follows a ruthless Dallas divorce attorney, Gemma (Paquin), as her life begins to unravel when her emotionally damaged, love-addicted sister resurfaces, triggering self-destructive tendencies and exposing long-hidden family secrets. Paquin’s character is described as one of the most sought-after divorce attorneys in Dallas.

So it’s a comedy, then. Let’s hope it gets picked up.

What To Watch on TV Tonight: Feherty Interviews Bush

Golf person David Feherty has written the occasional story for D Magazine. Back in 2009, he wrote an essay for us about George W. Bush moving back to Dallas. Perhaps that essay is what convinced the former president to sit down with Feherty for an interview that will air tonight on Feherty’s Golf Channel show, which is called Feherty. Below, if you care, you can read a press release about the episode and about how well Feherty is doing in the ratings. For now, here’s a taste of what you can expect tonight.

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Leon Bridges Sings For Squarespace

Grammy-losing artist Leon Bridges (profiled in the June 2015 issue of D Magazine) appeared in a new ad for Squarespace that debuted last night during the recording industry’s awards broadcast. Directed by photographer Danny Clinch, it depicts Bridges’ transition from dishwasher to touring musician.

What does this have to do with building websites? Beats me. But there are worse ways to spend a minute of a commercial break.

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Ben Stiller Invited Laura Bush to an Orgy

Ben Stiller told Stephen Colbert last night on the Late Show that he tried to get former First Lady Laura Bush to appear in a scene in his new comedy, Zoolander 2, which opens in theaters tomorrow.

Stiller had met Bush five years ago, and she’d told him she was a fan of the original Zoolander movie. So naturally he thought of her when he was looking to cast unexpected cameos in an orgy scene. You can see what he had in mind. The contrast of her squeaky-clean image with the surrounding debauchery might’ve played for a laugh. She declined.

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Investigation Discovery Dramatizes Lois Pearson’s Horrific Ordeal

I wasn’t aware until just now, when we saw a surge of weekday TV viewers visiting our June 2012 story about the kidnapping and torture of Lois Pearson in Corsicana, that the Investigation Discovery series Your Worst Nightmare produced an episode about the horrific tale.

“Neighbor From Hell” first aired on Dec. 23. Much of the episode comprises dramatizations of Pearson’s ill-fated interactions with Jeffrey Maxwell, but among the talking heads interviewed to offer commentary is our own Michael J. Mooney:

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