FrontBurner » sex

How Many Strip Clubs Does Dallas Have?

Tim Rogers — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 20:04:39 +0000

Yesterday I pointed you to a story our friend Sarah Hepola wrote for the Times Style section. Today I bring you an essay she wrote for Salon about an online dating experience that did not exactly work out for her. It’s a good read, recommended.

But after I read the story, Sarah and I had an email exchange that I asked her if I could share. It’s about topless bars.

TIM: When you write for New York, you aren’t afraid to play up the Dallas stereotypes, are you? Steakhouses and silicone … Ubiquitous strip clubs … Etc. You watch yourself, missy.

SARAH: Wait a minute. Strip clubs ARE ubiquitous. That’s not a stereotype — that’s reader information. The steakhouses and silicone line might be considered a stereotype, though I could point you to a handful of D Magazine pieces that characterize the city in the same way. I’m only allowed to poke fun at Dallas if I’m writing for a Dallas magazine?

TIM: There are no more strip clubs here (per capita) than there are in Vegas or Atlanta or Houston or Chicago. In fact, Wiki says Portland, OR, has more strip clubs per capita than any other US city. Now, Dallas’ clubs will be better. No question. But not more numerous. And certainly not UBIQUITOUS. [Ed: After I emailed with Sarah, I did a bit more digging (though not much). In this PolitiFact examination of which city is the stripper capital of the United States, Dallas didn't even come up. But Manhattan did.]

SARAH: OK, “ubiquitous” is too strong a word. They are “ubiquitous” on my drive out to the airport, but I realize that’s a sliver of the experience of living in the city. Still, why are you embarrassed by Dallas’ reputation for having a lot of strip clubs? Do you really think that’s an untrue stereotype? I think D should do a story on this. It’s fascinating to me. When I worked at the Observer, both [named redacted] and [name redacted] informed me that Dallas had more strip clubs than any city in the country, a fact I banked away because it came from two trustworthy journalists and also because whenever I write for NY publications, I like to sling around cheap and easy lies. But the myth is so powerful and enduring (it was quoted on the first ep of GCB, as I’m sure you remember), it’s worth exploring. I’d do that story if you wanted it.

At which point, I informed her that Joe Bob Briggs had already done that story. Again, though, Joe Bob’s story revealed that we can, with some authority, claim to have invented the “gentleman’s club.” He didn’t say that we’ve got more of them than any other city. That’s not true.

Play-N-Skillz Et Al. Rock My World With “Dallas Freaks”

Tim Rogers — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 18:28:23 +0000

WARNING: This video is NOT safe for work.

Now this is how you make Dallas world class. Forget the Arts District and the Large Marge. They won’t do it like this. The musical artists Play-N-Skillz, Dorrough, Too Short, and Bay Bay have collaborated on a song called “Dallas Freaks,” the gist of which is that, in their opinion, Dallas has the best freaks (”freaks” being a term for women that are, let’s say, sexually active). If these gentlemen can get their message out, that will move the needle. If the brass at Boeing had seen this video, no way would they have decided to move to Chicago.

Did I mention that the video is NSFW?

Female Reporter Had Six-Way Sex in Rangers Clubhouse in 1975, Ctd.

Tim Rogers — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 21:04:15 +0000

I asked someone who played on that 1975 team about Mike Shropshire’s story that a female reporter got “gangbanged” in the clubhouse shower. The player asked not to be identified. Here’s what he said:

“If it happened, it had to have happened before or after I was in the clubhouse. It absolutely did not happen during normal hours (noon until say 11:00 pm). And if it did happen, it is one of the best-kept secrets in the history of baseball, a sport not known for keeping any secrets. To suggest that a female reporter had sex in the shower with five players, one would have to assume that there were others around, like the clubhouse managers, coaches, or other players, in which case that escapade is not a secret for very long. In a word, if I had to say whether or not that ever happened, I would easily say NO.”

Is Ed Young Really “Sexually Stunted”?

Michael J. Mooney — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 18:02:57 +0000

Over the last few weeks, pastor Ed Young and his wife Lisa, of Fellowship Church in Grapevine, have received a lot of international attention for their book, Sexperiment: Seven Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse, and their 24-hour bed-in on the church roof–promotion for said book. Most of the coverage has been relatively positive, because who doesn’t want to see a Southern Baptist preacher encouraging more sex? Well, the writer of this Salon book review, that’s who. The reviewer, Tracy Clark-Flory, is a self-described “arrogant, unrepentant atheist and fornicator” and she has major problems with both the content of the Youngs’ book (and another Christian “sex advice” book released this month) and with the way the media has covered them.

Says Clark-Flory: “Having actually read these books, I can tell you they are not the wild sex manuals the media frenzy suggests — in fact, they are treatises against homosexuality, pornography and premarital sex. None of this is exactly surprising, but amid the sexy buzz surrounding these books, it’s important to underscore just how sexually stunted they are.”

That’s just the beginning. She goes on to rip several Sexperiment metaphors as well as the anti-porn message. But she concludes the books “also answer questions that most Christians are too afraid to ask their pastors about whether particular sex acts are God-approved and, according to them, masturbation, anal sex, oral sex, menstrual sex and sex toys are A-OK (again, within the context of straight, married sex).” She sees that as “a slam against the Santorums of the world.”

Naked Pictures of Yu Darvish

Tim Rogers — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 22:04:01 +0000

Unless you work at a place like D Magazine, the following link will take you to images that are NSFW. But I feel it is our duty here on FrontBurner to show you naked pictures of Yu Darvish. If the Rangers are going to pay that much money for him, and if other media outlets are going to mention the pictures without telling you how to find them, then we’ll come to the rescue. Nante subarashii no.

Do Not Click the Following Link to Kissing Suzy Kolber

Tim Rogers — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 14:30:27 +0000

If you’re not familiar with Big Daddy Drew’s work on the blog Kissing Suzy Kolber, then chances are your heart is cleaner than mine. Big Daddy Drew is filthy and full of profanity and other stuff that isn’t appropriate for polite company. Certainly not appropriate for this blog. What he likes to do is write plays featuring NFL personalities, especially Rex Ryan. Because Rex Ryan has a filthy mouth so it’s fun to imagine stuff he says. Plus he (Ryan) has a foot fetish. That’s fun, too. Okay, anyway — man, I really shouldn’t do this — today’s installment from Big Daddy Drew is all about the Cowboys-Jets matchup and how Cowboys defensive coordinator Rob Ryan is going to use his football powers (and filthy mouth and other body parts) to outsmart his brother Rex. The play features Jason Garrett and Jerry Jones, too. But like I said, it’s filthy-dirty.

Zac dared me to post a link to it. I don’t turn down a dare. But in the name of all that is right and holy, do not click that link! Especially if you’re at work!

In other news, it’s been nice working here. I’ll miss you guys.

Joe Bob Briggs on Anthony Weiner

Tim Rogers — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 15:47:50 +0000

An alert FrontBurnervian points us this essay by former D Magazine staffer John Bloom (aka Joe Bob Briggs), who defends the kooky actions of Anthony Weiner. Sample:

The Democratic Party is supposed to promote the rights of gays, lesbians, transvestites, transsexuals, hermaphrodites, midgets, circus performers, and biker gangs. It’s supposedly an article of faith among Democrats, especially when it comes to gay marriage, that there’s no such thing as normal. As long as no laws are violated, every American determines his own definition of a normal life, including a normal life in the bedroom, the swingers’ club, the bathhouse, or anywhere else he, she, or it decides to aardvark around. If suddenly the Democrats have decided that Anthony Weiner talking dirty on Facebook and emailing his Love Log to Vegas blackjack dealers constitutes “unacceptable” and “bizarre” sociopathy — if the standard is that low — then God help them the first time a lesbian Congresswoman from Vermont gets “outed” by her college roommate at Swarthmore who has decided to reminisce about the mostly forgotten Group Grope in Parrish Hall back in ’97 by establishing a Facebook page dedicated to recalling every detail of every girl who may or may not have kissed said Congresswoman or otherwise touched her in a compromising manner.

Read the whole thing. It’s funny. And Joe Bob makes a good point.