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Making Dallas Even Better

A Dispatch From the D Magazine Sweat Lodge

When we got to work this morning at D Magazine world headquarters, in beautiful downtown Dallas, we learned the AC is out in our building, St. Paul Place. The editorial crew all sits on the east side of the office. That would be the side of the building that is currently under assault from the sun. I’m guessing, but it’s probably 87 degrees at my desk, which sits right by a window.

To survive, many of us have moved our computers into our lobby, which is on the west side of the building. We are sitting at the table you see here, elbow to elbow. We aren’t exactly sweating. But we are all sticky. At least I am sticky. I haven’t taken a survey. Zac (far left in the pic) is on edge. I made an innocuous comment earlier about the movie London Has Fallen, and he threw a coffee mug at me. Then the Spirit Father came to see me, and I sprouted wings, and I flew with him high above our hunting grounds, admiring the herds of buffalo that have sustained our people for generations. Do you hear that noise, my brother?

I am now naked save for my loincloth. I am lashing myself with the sage branch. An intern is pouring water on the stones that still glow red from the fire, and the steam is cleansing my MacBook Air. We are working on the August issue. It will be an inspired document, if not error free.

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This Morning’s Nitpick: The Meaning of the Phrase ‘Sour Grapes’

Today Steve Blow has a column about Casey Monahan, who has been the director of the Texas Music Office for 25 years. Blow writes:

With a new governor making new hires, next week will be Monahan’s last as director of the Texas Music Office.

But no sour grapes. “Oh, gosh no,” he said. “I mean that sincerely. I don’t feel entitled to this job. If the governor wants to go in a different direction, that’s what he was elected to do.”

Blow could have used the help of a good copy editor.

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Erykah Badu Crashes NYC Newscast

Hat tip to Central Track for bringing me (and by extension you) this video of Erykah Badu jacking around with a guy doing a standup in New York City. Check out both the Vine and the YouTube versions. Girl was determined to get some play.

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Further Thoughts On The Guy That Ordered That Giant Starbucks Drink

1. Now that I see the details of Andrew Chifari’s stunt — as a Gold member of their loyalty club, he was entitled to a free drink, basically limited only by whatever dumb thing he could come up with and whatever the baristas would allow, and, I mean, what do they care — I sort of respect the hustle.
2. THAT SAID, it took him five days to drink it. That I do not respect. The way I see it, Starbucks called his bluff and then he folded. Sure, it would have been borderline suicidal to drink that many shots of espresso in one day. Look at it this way: when you order one of those gag 72-ounce steaks, you clean your plate or you lose. You don’t get up on the steakhouse wall with a doggie bag. Same rules apply here, as far as I’m concerned.
3. The name he came up with for the drink — Sexagintuple Vanilla Bean Mocha Frappuccino — lacks panache. I mean, OK, it’s Starbucks, so maybe he felt he had to abide by the naming conventions. But you bring your own 128-ounce vase and manage to get them to fill it with caffeine slurry, you get naming rights, and you need something that doesn’t sound like an Idiocracy deleted scene. Say you want a “DEATHBRINGER” and have them Sharpie your name on the side.
4. Finally: “I think the fact that Kelly Ripa said my name and Michael Strahan said I was smart has been the most exciting.” DREAM BIGGER, FELLA.

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Morning News Tries to Burn Elementary School For Misspelling, Misspells Word in Process

On the DMN‘s Education Blog yesterday, reporter Matthew Haag took Zaragoza Elementary School to task for its outdoor sign. The sign read: Greg Robertson Teachre of the Year Miss. Salazar Assistance Teacher of the Year Haag responded: I drove past Zaragoza Elementary School in Dallas ISD this morning and did a double-take when I saw the […]

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