Articles about Petty Feuds
Senator Tom Leppert Would Be Much Worse Than Mayor Tom Leppert
When he was mayor, Tom Leppert’s Twitter account was just crazy boring, filled with safe non-opinions like “Dallas is great” and “Don’t you just love the Beatles?” and “Who else thinks breathing air ROCKS?” (may be slightly paraphrasing). Now that he’s running for senator*, his Twitter feed has switched gears and is now all about GENERIC RIGHT-WING TALKING POINT OF THE DAY (see?). Why does that work me up?
Zac Crain Finds Second Career
A FrontBurnervian whose work responsibilities earlier today took him to MPS Studios sends along the below photo of one Zac Crain preparing to deliver what appears to be an on-camera performance. Zac? Care to explain yourself? What’s this side gig you got going?
Dwaine Caraway, Arthur, and Archie
I know Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway made his statement yesterday, admitted he lied to the DMN about why cops were called to his house, and said, “That’s the end of all of this with me. That’s my statement. There’s not going to be anything else. No more questions, no more nothing.” But I have a question. How do you diagram the following sentence, which came from his statement?
“Those of you in this audience that are married, those of you that are listening that are married, if you’ve not always wanted eggs and bacon and some of you may have wanted something else, but you didn’t get it and that’s just what marriage is all about.”
That’s the way marriage go?
Leading Off (1/10/11)
1. Dallas has increased police presence in public schools, and, lo and behold, that has resulted in a sharp increase (95 percent) in the number of tickets issued to students. Not sure what to say about this one, except that after reading this quote, I’m real happy I’m not in school anymore: “Disrupting class, using profanity, misbehaving on a school bus, student fights and truancy once meant a trip to the principal’s office. Today, such misbehavior results in a Class C misdemeanor ticket and a trip to court.”
2. Just remember: nothing happened. Sure, the police were called by council member Dwaine Caraway. But when the police arrived at the politician’s house, they found that “both the complainant and the wife [Rep. Barbara Mallory Caraway] stated that they had had an argument and settled it.” That’s it. It was settled. It’s just a big misunderstanding between two elected officials that somehow ended up in the annals of the police reports. Pay no attention. Move on.
Chapter 3: The Mayor Sits in His Car
The first thing the Mayor felt, when we finally woke up, was his ribs. The pain was almost psychotropic, like a bad trip he couldn’t escape. The fact that he had slept slumped sideways in his car, his damaged side right on top of the parking brake, didn’t help. He didn’t remember falling asleep — not where or when.
The second thing he felt was the gun. It was against his temple, and it was surprisingly warm. Not like it had been recently fired, but more like it was alive. He closed his eyes and let himself imagine the gun moving and growing, like a metallic vine, wrapping around his head, enveloping him.
The broken ribs were making him crazy.
The gun disappeared. When he turned to see where it went, he felt a sharp pain and then everything went away. He noticed, just before he disappeared into the blackness, that he was parked on Swiss Avenue.
Local Woman to Show Her “Magic Dress” on TLC’s Homemade Millionaire
It’s like this. I went to high school with a guy. He was a year ahead of me. He used to beat me up. We played basketball together, and one time I got so angry with him that I threw the ball at him during a game, while the game was in progress (resulting in a pretty spectacular turnover). Another time, at a party, he ordered his girlfriend to kiss me in front of a bunch of people just to show that he could order his girlfriend to kiss me, which was a pretty lousy thing for him to do, but his girlfriend was really hot, so it didn’t bug me that much.
Anyway. Now I pretend to be this guy’s friend because he’s a powerful lawyer, and I have a track record of periodically needing legal representation. And so he called me up and asked if I would draw attention to Jennifer Martinson, a Dallas woman to whom the fellow is related and who will appear tomorrow on a new TLC reality show called Homemade Millionaire. The idea is that entrepreneurs compete for the opportunity to have their product showcased on the Home Shopping Network. Martinson has created something call the Magic Dress, which, as I understand it, is a lot like Magic Shell — only instead of chocolate, it’s a dress. The Magic Dress can be worn in, like, 100 different ways. I guess in theory, then, you’d only need the one dress, and all the others would be obsolete.
Martinson’s episode airs tomorrow at 9 o’clock. Maybe you should watch.
(Is this post okay, Fred? Please don’t beat me up.)
Tim Rogers Co-Hosts the Dallas Mavericks Post-Game Show: The Drinking Game
Take a drink when …
- He makes an incredibly generic sports point
- He makes an incredibly generic sports point three years too late
- He references his new shirt
- He attempts a complicated comedy bit during a return from commercial
- He tries to explain the complicated bit of comedy and why it’s funny
- He tries to impersonate a player
- His impersonation comes off as vaguely racist
- Or xenophobic
- He bogs down the conversation over a slight grammatical error
- He attempts to restart the conversation with a joke
- That joke is vaguely racist
- Or sexist
- Or xenophobic
- Or not funny
- He attempts to explain THAT joke
Texas Good, California Bad
I just summarized this piece by Joel Kotkin (anyone around here familiar with him? Didn’t think so) in four words. YOU’RE WELCOME.
Oh, wait, what’s that? It’s a little more nuanced? Fine, go ahead and read it. It’s your Friday afternoon.
Chris Bosh Has a New Theme Song
You guys, I saw this yesterday and totally forgot to put it up. SORRY. Anyway, here is the pride of Lincoln High getting sonned by the guys from The Basketball Jones, mostly tongue in cheek, for his early season struggles with the Miami Heat (worked out, coincidentally, last night, with 35 points in three quarters). Still funny, though. (Oh, and there is one word in there not meant for delicate ears, so be warned.)
TBJ exclusive: Like A Bosh from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.
Don’t Go Near the Majestic Theatre on November 10
I mean, you can and maybe you actually really want to, but I believe that it says somewhere in the Bible (or maybe it was my dream journal — in my defense, they are very similar) that when Sarah Palin, Governor Rick Perry, and Stephen Broden are all on stage at the same time, it can only mean one thing: the ground underneath the Majestic will crack open and then Phil Davison will usher us all into the deepest recesses of Hades. No?
Okay, fine, if you insist on going, here is what to expect:
Krys Boyd Totally Blues the Air of D Magazine HQ
Every so often we invite someone we’re curious about to come talk to us during the lunch hour in our capacious main conference room. Today, we played host to the lovely and talented Krys Boyd, she of KERA fame. Not long before she told us which local media person she’s not real fond of, she stipulated that everything she said had to be off the record. So I’m not going to tell you who that local media person is. But I will tell you the following: Krys told us that sometimes when she’s nervous and not on the air, when she’s trying to impress someone she thinks is cooler than she is, she’ll use salty language. Then she demonstrated how she uses this crutch, uttering a hypothetical cool-sounding sentence. WOW. You know what? That [redacted] woman can curse. So hot.
No Love Between Commissioners Court and Watkins
So … we all know that the Dallas County Commissioners Court is where you want to go for real government meeting excitement. I mean, there’s this. And this. And well, this. I could keep Googling and provide you with a children’s treasury of brouhahas, lamentations and teeth gnashing, but I’m tired and it’s the end of the day.
But today, District Attorney Craig Watkins pretty much ripped into the court for denying him three positions. He’s keeping 21 after agreeing to give some of his forfeiture money for major purchases. But apparently the loss of these three jobs – a clerk and two attorneys – threw him over the edge.
The highlights, after the jump: (more…)
Will Sooners Get to Show Their Pride Through License Plates?
A couple weeks ago, Bethany told you how My Plates is off on its projected revenue. It looks like the company has figured out how to bring in that revenue. They’re evoking that good, ole OU/TX rivalry with the proposal of an OU license plate. According to the article at the News, some people are for it, some are against. I really don’t see any reason why it shouldn’t be offered. And, yes, I’m biased.
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“Ryan,” Sometime FrontBurner Commenter, Decamps For Another Non-FrontBurner Blog
In the comments of Rhonda’s post, occasional FrontBurner commenter “Ryan” decided to bid our land of hyperlinks a hasty adieu. You know what, I’ll just let him tell it:
That, folks, is courage. After the jump, a tribute to Ryan and FrontBurner’s time together.
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