DEION SANDERS I NEVER Offered Cash for Ass
DEION SANDERS Pilar’s Trying to EXTORT Me
PILAR SANDERS SLAMS DEION He’s a No-Good CHEATER … and a MEGA-Narcissist
DEION SANDERS Daughter SLAMS Step-Mom — You’re a ‘Gold-Digging H*e’
And so on. Do people click on those because they’re sensational subject-wise? Of course. Oh my lord. But also, because they generally make sure to CAPITALIZE a word in most headlines. That tells me, as a reader, “There is something important here. Something IMPORTANT. SOMETHING important.” See? You want to click on that sentence don’t you? But you can’t, because all it would do is highlight the sentence, and not take you to a magical, grammatically suspect blog post. Anyway, I’m doing this from now on.
Poynter has the story of how DMN reporter Tom Benning called the Susan G. Komen Foundation for the Cure this morning, looking for an update, and accidentally got breaking news. Benning says the few seconds he got as a head start, the chance to be first on Twitter “made a difference as far as getting eyeballs on our website.”
Funny, I was reading through lots of reports from all over the web as this was happening, which meant I wasn’t looking at the DMN homepage or any DMN Twitter accounts. And in my searching, minutes after the story broke, theirs didn’t come up near the top.
On the heels of quite a bit of backlash, like this New York Times editorial, executives from the Komen foundation are in super crisis management mode. (So far, they haven’t gone the zebra blood route, but it’s still early.)
I’ll briefly paraphrase Komen President Elizabeth Thompson, responding to questions from reporters: “Investigation?” Did we say “investigation?” No, we meant, um, that other thing anti-abortion people are saying, that Planned Parenthood doesn’t have on-sight mammograms. Or they aren’t good enough. Something like that. Abortions? Oh, we didn’t even realize that was the same Planned Parenthood. Nope, that had nothing to do with it. What’s that, we also pulled funding for stem cell research that was working toward a cure? Total coincidence. Hey, isn’t the Super Bowl soon? We know how you folks like to watch football! Why don’t you go over there and rest until the game starts.
UPDATE 10:36: read a public statement (apology) from Nancy Brinker, and a response from Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards here.
The Hall of Fame running back is the biggest name to join a large lawsuit filed against the NFL for what essentially amounts to a decades-long cultural indifference to the long-term health of employees (the players). The Associated Press has a lengthy feature about it, in which Dorsett describes games in which he was knocked out cold, then returned to take more pounding, only to find himself running the wrong way. Now 57, he says he’s paying dearly for it. The NFL, for it’s part, is taking out a commercial during the Super Bowl to explain all the things the league has done to fight concussions.
As Tim pointed out yesterday, this whole Susan G. Komen for Cure-cutting-ties-to-Planned Parenthood thing has put Nancy Brinker is an awkward situation. But there’s another Dallas woman at the center of this controversy too. That would be Dallas product Cecile Richards, daughter of former Texas governor Ann Richards.
Cecile is the president of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, and in this profile in the New Yorker, published in November (after the “investigation” was launched, but before SGKC withdrew funding), she attributes most of her organization’s most recent problems to the Tea Party-dominated mid-term elections in 2010.
Her theory: “when those guys can’t figure out what to do about jobs, and they can’t, their first target is women.” Another quote from the same story sums up how a lot of now former SGKC donors feel: “The fury over Planned Parenthood is two political passions—opposition to abortion and opposition to government programs for the poor—acting as one.”
Dear Navajo Slim:
I was flipping through the latest issue of LIT Monthly. I saw you listed on the masthead as a staff writer. I am forming a gang with the idea that the members of said gang would have the right mix of skills to pull off a bank job. I need a wheelman. Please let me know if you’re interested.
Sincerely,
Tim
PS: Ask your colleague Blind Scientist, in the graphic design department, if he’s interested, too.
According to this fitness site floating around Facebook, Dallas ranks 33 out of the 58 cities with more than 300,000 people. That’s behind Minneapolis (1), Pittsburgh (4), Seattle (5), Washington, D.C. (7), Austin (9), New Orleans (25), Oakland (28), and San Antonio (32). Behind San Antonio? At least we’re ahead of Tulsa (36), New York (40), Fort Worth (43), Houston (44), Arlington (47), Oklahoma City (49), L.A. (52), Corpus Christi (55), and El Paso (57). Take that, Tulsa.
If you think Robert “Fingers of Fury” Wilonsky does nothing but scour PACER filings and search eBay and YouTube for Dallas-related items all day, then you’re wrong. According to the North American Travel Journalists Association, his “Hidden Charms” dispatch from Helsinki in American Way was the best special focus travel article on a local lifestyle in all of 2011. Mazel tov!
That’s according to GQ. And “scent critic” Chandler Burr means “smelliest” in the best possible way:
Cities, like people, have their own smell, their own body odors and perfumes that take on personalities. Dallas is one of the strangest scents I have ever encountered. Highways of strip malls and gas stations and exit signs. Insanely wide streets. It’s very New World-smelling. It almost has a non-scent scent. Like many cities, you get concrete, car exhaust, and dust. If you really focus, you can pick up on the nearly undetectable Texas live oak. It’s best during thunderstorms, though. The crisp smell of lightning and rain and vast flat space pervades and takes on a three-dimensional quality.
God, I love the smell of the air before a thunderstorm. He’s got that right, but I never thought it peculiar to Dallas.
We’re No. 10 on the list. The best smelling place? Los Angeles.
It’s a strange list. Mumbai ranks above us too. Paris is singled out as the worst-smelling.
Last week, I asked one of our interns to count how many times in the past year that the Observer has put a story on its cover that has nothing to do with Dallas. Over the weekend, Observer editor Joe Tone tweeted at me: “This, @TimmyTyper, is how interns should be spending their time.” He included a link to this post on Unfair Park about Ralph Isenberg, a man who runs a legal clinic that helps deportees. I’ll just give you the one-sentence lead that Greg Howard wrote for his Friday blog post:
So Ralph Isenberg threatened to fuck me in my ass the other day.
Yeah. It’s quite something — because of how Isenberg behaved and because of how Howard told the tale about how he behaved. If you haven’t read it yet, you ought to.
USA Today opines that when a company refuses to hire anyone who smokes tobacco it “crosses a troubling line.” The newspaper singles out Dallas’ own Baylor Health Care System, which formalized its anti-smoking policy as of January 1, in an editorial:
Treating smoking, in essence, like illegal drug use takes Baylor and an increasing number of other employers down a dangerous road, one that extends far too deeply into the private lives of prospective workers.
Joel Allison, the CEO of Baylor, discussed the ban with me during our recent breakfast at the Original Pancake House on Lemmon Avenue. The policy is not limited merely to smokers but includes use of any nicotine products:
“Is that legal?” I ask him, only half-serious.
“We would not do anything that would be considered illegal,” he says, completely serious. “We’re in the healthcare business, so we want people to practice good health.”
Allison also believes it’s important for Baylor to do what it can to keep its own costs down. Before this all-out ban, the company had already placed a surcharge on smokers who participated in its health insurance plan. “Five percent of the population uses up about 50 percent of the health care cost,” he says.
To which USA Today declares a SLIPPERY SLOPE ALERT:
Over the last few weeks, pastor Ed Young and his wife Lisa, of Fellowship Church in Grapevine, have received a lot of international attention for their book, Sexperiment: Seven Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse, and their 24-hour bed-in on the church roof–promotion for said book. Most of the coverage has been relatively positive, because who doesn’t want to see a Southern Baptist preacher encouraging more sex? Well, the writer of this Salon book review, that’s who. The reviewer, Tracy Clark-Flory, is a self-described “arrogant, unrepentant atheist and fornicator” and she has major problems with both the content of the Youngs’ book (and another Christian “sex advice” book released this month) and with the way the media has covered them.
Says Clark-Flory: “Having actually read these books, I can tell you they are not the wild sex manuals the media frenzy suggests — in fact, they are treatises against homosexuality, pornography and premarital sex. None of this is exactly surprising, but amid the sexy buzz surrounding these books, it’s important to underscore just how sexually stunted they are.”
That’s just the beginning. She goes on to rip several Sexperiment metaphors as well as the anti-porn message. But she concludes the books “also answer questions that most Christians are too afraid to ask their pastors about whether particular sex acts are God-approved and, according to them, masturbation, anal sex, oral sex, menstrual sex and sex toys are A-OK (again, within the context of straight, married sex).” She sees that as “a slam against the Santorums of the world.”
Michelle Saunders is one of our new interns. Her first day was Thursday. She seemed to do well. We’re working on getting our March issue out the door, so I didn’t have time to ask a lot of questions. But then on Friday, I had to tell her to leave (I feel guilty when interns work later than I do). She said she had just a couple more things to finish and she was only going to stay until 6 or so. I begged her not to, and then I left. I still haven’t asked her how late she stayed. I’m afraid of the answer.
However, she sent me a note this morning from her first day. It amused me, and I thought it might amuse you as well.
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Michelle Saunders and I am one of the new spring 2012 interns here at D. Just how new, you ask? Keep reading and you’ll understand.Yesterday was my first day and it started off without a hitch, er with relative hitches, well…define hitch (oh wait, that’s my job!). I left my house in plenty of time and despite typical Dallas traffic, made it to the parking garage a couple of blocks from the office in just enough time to walk there. Although I’m growing increasingly nervous, I set off with a jaunty step, ready to edit, highlight, slash, and verify.
I call my mom to let her know I’m about to start and I talk to her as I walk…until I trip and eat pavement just one short block from the office. Did I mention I’m on Ross Avenue? In the heart of Downtown? During morning rush hour? Yes, Dallas, that was me, Michelle, who accidentally flashed you as I scrambled to retrieve the contents of my bag, my laptop, phone, and dignity (in that order). Luckily the light changed quickly so I couldn’t see your faces as you sped by me, smirking behind your tinted windows.
Yesterday we talked about how, needing a serious boost in the polls, Craig James released his tax returns. That boost he needs is even more serious than previously expected. Like, he needs a 28-point jump if he’d like to see the other side of 30 percent. But because he’s running against several opponents, those numbers make it tough to gauge exactly how popular — or unpopular — James might be. But this story, from The Post Game, is much less ambiguous. The headline: “Craig James: The Most Hated Man in West Texas.” There’s even mention of how James is less popular in West Texas than Barack Obama.
James Williford is a curious fellow. He’s a member of the new crop of interns that started here this week. James just got a master’s degree in English from Georgetown, where he carried a 4.0 GPA and wrote a thesis titled “The Adultery of Delicate Objects,” which, according to his CV, was “a study of medieval art, objecthood, and ekphrasis.” He’s that kind of guy. Only way I know how to deal with interns that smart is to beat them down with time-wasting tasks in the hopes that they’ll give up their silly dreams of ever making a living in journalism and move on to investment banking. Or ekphrasis.
Anyway, after I saw this week’s cover the Dallas Observer, a profile of Victoria Jackson, I asked James to wade through the paper’s archives and tell me how many of the Dallas Observer’s cover stories in the past year have had nothing to do with Dallas. Including the Jackson story, it looks like 10 (see list, below). I suppose this only bothers me. And, now, James.
Feb 24, 2011 – Pomplamoose, California-based band
Mar 24, 2011 – Flawed sex trafficking study
May 12, 2011 – Sonya Fitzpatrick, British pet psychic
May 19, 2011 – Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips
Jun 9, 2011 – Austin
Jun 30, 2011 – Ashton Kutcher and sex trafficking
Nov 3, 2011 – Underage sex workers (mentions Dallas but isn’t locally focused)
Nov 17, 2011 – Drugs in Lufkin
Dec 15, 2011 – The College Bowl System
Jan 26, 2012 – Victoria Jackson
Update (3:24) – It has come to my attention that the Flaming Lips story was set entirely in Dallas. For this error, James will pay dearly.