Articles about Hypothetical

Semi-Regular Friday Afternoon Pre-Happy Hour Hypothetical

Would you rather drink whatever kind of beer/liquor you prefer, but you can only drink it one day a week, OR drink 7-Eleven’s own branded Game Day beer as much as you want, whenever you want? You still have to pay, and you can’t break any current laws. I mean, if you want to drink one in the car, OK, fine, I guess, but just know you’d still get pinched.

(Also: I know Game Day isn’t new; just picked it because it’s local-ish. And, not to taint the results, but we’ve had some here at the office. The most gentle review I can give it is it does seem to actually be beer.)

Things I Wonder: The Dallas Cowboys Edition

What would an Eminem frustration rap about the Cowboys sound like? *

*Yes, it’s behind a paywall. The takeaway is Eminem is a Cowboys fan and he’s frustrated.

New License Plate Law Kind of Screwed Up

So you know what happens when you wait until the last day of the legislative session to pass a whole flurry of bills? Some of them end up missing things, things that change the entire purpose of the law. Like in Arkansas a couple years ago, when they unintentionally made it OK to marry a baby, or something, by accident. Or this past legislative session in Texas, when they accidentally gave a law designed to make it a bigger deal to not have or obscure a license plate, but instead kind of gave it no teeth by forgetting the fine, apparently.

I’m no lawyer, or I’d be off lawyering and making big bank and scaring people. And man, I’d have this giant house with a maid that would just do floors, all day long. And two dogs – Herve Villechaize and Nipsey Russell. What was I saying?  Right. I’m no lawyer, but if I got a ticket for missing a license plate after this law goes into effect, since the AG’s office will take six months to rule on the legalities, I might just fight it. I think.

Friday Hypothetical: The Punch Bet

I’ve sort of road tested this one on Tim Rogers, my direct supervisor, as well as former Spirit editor Eric Celeste, so it’s not just me typing until I get bored then salvaging a terrible question from the wreckage.

For seemingly no reason, I punch you in the face. Hard enough where you have a really decent shiner for a few weeks, but not to the point where I do any structural damage. In a month, you will be right as rain, but may still flinch occasionally if you are around me and I make a sudden move. (By the way, I make a lot of sudden moves. I mean in real life. I am physically decisive.) Anyway, after this random assault, I explain to you that the punch just won me a bet, and the payout is $100,000.

How much of that money do you demand from me? (Tim had the exact same answer, and general reasoning, as Eric. Just so you know.)

Friday Hypothetical Question

If the lockout holds and there is no NBA season, do you think I could still play a passable version of the drum parts on Metallica’s “One” using two blue-ink Papermate pins, my desk, a metal water bottle, this stack of file folders, and my natural charisma?

Monday Hypothetical: Yes, It’s Finally Time to Discuss Wormholes

After work one day, you stop by a bar on the way home. It is not your usual place, but you have been stuck in traffic, and you just need to be somewhere cool and dark for half an hour. It’s so hot, you feel like you’re sweating through your eyes. You have been at this bar for a few minutes, and already checked Twitter five times, when you are approached by a exceedingly tall man with a beard and an eyepatch. Obviously, you are instantly intrigued. He introduces himself. He is Dragan Gavric. Dr. Dragan Gavric. And he is an inventor.

(more…)

Tuesday Hypothetical: Save Our Summer

You are approached by a man — for expediency and clarity, I shall hereafter refer to this man as LaMetrius — who says that he can promise you that the temperature outside will never be greater than 75 degrees and will never be lower than 42. LaMetrius further stipulates that there will only be a few scattered (but mostly unobtrusive) clouds, and the humidity will similarly be negligible. Plus, LaMetrius says, there will always be a light breeze.

Of course, LaMetrius smiles, there are some conditions. Three conditions.

(more…)