Articles about Hypothetical
On Ant Guns: Maybe One Day
Am I crazy? No. Did I waste your time? Maybe. Is Lew Patton still irrationally angry about this morning’s Leading Off? No question. How long can I keep up this question thing? Indefinitely. How long will I? Probably almost done. Did I almost PhotoShop this myself? Yes. Will I still do it anyway? Perhaps. Anyway. 
Klyde Warren Park May Get an Ice Rink
Source: Klyde Warren Park
Let’s put aside the fact that while the Dallas Business Journal wrote a piece about the possibility of this ice rink yesterday, our Christine Perez mentioned it two weeks ago. That: aside.
There are some logistical nightmares that arise with this plan.
1. Brought up by Tim in the comments of Christine’s piece: “Even with a master’s from MIT, [Dallas Stars executive vice president of business operations and development Jason] Farris won’t be able keep a decent sheet of ice going in Klyde Warren. Thursday’s high will be 73 degrees.”
Texas Legends Trying to Lure Allen Iverson
From ESPN’s Marc Stein:
Iverson has likewise resisted the Legends’ overtures so far this season — as well as a similar offer last season — but sources say that the Legends are trying again now because they’ve moved back to the top of the list in the D-League’s waiver line, meaning they’d have an unobstructed path to signing Iverson if he could be convinced to put his name in the D-League’s player pool.
The Legends’ pitch to Iverson centers around the fact they’ve just convinced NBA veterans Delonte West and Rashad McCants to join their team with similar intentions, after the Legends signed another 37-year-old earlier this month — point guard Mike James – and wound up putting James in position to earn a 10-day callup to the Mavericks that turned into a guaranteed contract after James completed his second 10-day deal Sunday.
Just imagine Delonte and Iverson playing on the same team. Quick list of things that would be better than that: ______. Nothing. Nothing would be better than that. This random Twitter user channels similar excitement:
OH MY GOD IF ALLEN IVERSON COMES BACK IM GOING TO KILL SOMETHING OUT OF SHEER EXCITEMENT
— perrin moore (@perrinmoore96) January 28, 2013
One Slip of Paper May Have Stunted Democratic Inroads in Texas
Wick raised the question earlier this morning: How could Democrats take over Texas? It’s a longshot, but a data-based, volunteer-driven organization could go a long way. That road, though, may have just gotten harder. Yesterday, Texas state senators drew slips of paper for their terms. Half received two-year terms, half four-year terms. Wendy Davis, state senator from Fort Worth, drew a two-year term. The Statesman explains how this complicates the Democratic plan going forward:
Sen. Wendy Davis, D-Fort Worth, who just won a narrow election to a second term over Rep. Mark Shelton, is a rising star in the Democratic Party, already being touted as probably the most credible statewide standard-bearer in 2014. Not that she could be elected governor in 2014. Jones rates the chances of that happening at “zero.” But with national fundraising appeal, she could run a strong campaign and set the stage for real Democratic charge – perhaps, [Rice University political scientist Mark] Jones said, with San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro running for governor and Davis for lieutenant governor – in 2018. (Castro has told FOX News Latino, “if the voters will have me, I will be mayor of San Antonio until 2017.”) .
As of Wednesday, that scenario is far more complicated, said Jones, and all because of a slip of paper inside a capsule inside of an envelope.
Now, Davis would have to surrender her Senate seat to run statewide, which would undo the whole point of using 2014 to build to 2018, and would also put her Senate seat at risk, especially in a year that doesn’t coincide with a presidential election, which helps pull out Democratic votes. Even Davis will have a little tougher time getting re-elected in 2014 than she presumably would have had in 2016, said Jones.
“We danced a jig,” state GOP Chairman Steve Munisteri told the Star-Telegram.
Exclusive: We Speak With Dirk D. Dazzler, the Self-Described Spokesman For the ‘Change Klyde Warren Park to Barack Obama Park’ Movement
Earlier this week, it came to our attention that some folks were trying to change the name of Klyde Warren Park to “Barack Obama Park.” Their web presence was scant, but I found them. Here’s an interview with spokesman Dirk D. Dazzler. This is very, very real. Uncomfortably real.
If Every U.S. State Declared War Against the Others, Would Texas Win?
“America” Source: Quora
Someone posed a similar question on the question-and-answer site Quora recently, and U.S. Marine Sergeant  (and North Texas graduate and Dallas resident) Jon Davis picked up the ball and ran about 6,500 words further than anyone anticipated.
First of all, I had to reread his lede to make sure what I was reading wasn’t actually happening right now, as we speak, which was terrifying:
“These are the accounts of the Second American Civil War, also known as the Wars of Reunification and the American Warring States Period.
After the breakup many wondered which states would come out in control of the power void created by the dissolution of the United States. There were many with little chance against several of the larger more powerful states. The states in possession of a large population, predisposition for military (i.e.) military bases and a population open to the idea of warfare fared the best. In the long term we would look to states with self-sufficiency and long term military capabilities.”
Those states were California, Texas, and New York, naturally.
How To Fix the Nasher/Museum Tower Issue
So listen, the other day I was watching Superman II and I totally came up with an idea that will fix everything.
It happens toward the end of the movie, when General Zod is using his laser beam eyeballs to heat up semi trucks and make them explode. So then Superman comes in and uses his freeze-breath thing to cool the truck down, and bends the truck’s mirror to reflect the laser beam burny thing back on Zod.
And then it hit me. All the Nasher needs is a carefully placed mirror reflecting toward the Museum Tower. Then it can fry them right back.
You’re welcome. Just tell me where to send the bill.
Play-N-Skillz Et Al. Rock My World With “Dallas Freaks”
WARNING: This video is NOT safe for work.
Now this is how you make Dallas world class. Forget the Arts District and the Large Marge. They won’t do it like this. The musical artists Play-N-Skillz, Dorrough, Too Short, and Bay Bay have collaborated on a song called “Dallas Freaks,” the gist of which is that, in their opinion, Dallas has the best freaks (“freaks” being a term for women that are, let’s say, sexually active). If these gentlemen can get their message out, that will move the needle. If the brass at Boeing had seen this video, no way would they have decided to move to Chicago.
Did I mention that the video is NSFW?
Semi-Regular Friday Afternoon Pre-Happy Hour Hypothetical
Would you rather drink whatever kind of beer/liquor you prefer, but you can only drink it one day a week, OR drink 7-Eleven’s own branded Game Day beer as much as you want, whenever you want? You still have to pay, and you can’t break any current laws. I mean, if you want to drink one in the car, OK, fine, I guess, but just know you’d still get pinched.
(Also: I know Game Day isn’t new; just picked it because it’s local-ish. And, not to taint the results, but we’ve had some here at the office. The most gentle review I can give it is it does seem to actually be beer.)
Things I Wonder: The Dallas Cowboys Edition
What would an Eminem frustration rap about the Cowboys sound like? *
*Yes, it’s behind a paywall. The takeaway is Eminem is a Cowboys fan and he’s frustrated.
New License Plate Law Kind of Screwed Up
So you know what happens when you wait until the last day of the legislative session to pass a whole flurry of bills? Some of them end up missing things, things that change the entire purpose of the law. Like in Arkansas a couple years ago, when they unintentionally made it OK to marry a baby, or something, by accident. Or this past legislative session in Texas, when they accidentally gave a law designed to make it a bigger deal to not have or obscure a license plate, but instead kind of gave it no teeth by forgetting the fine, apparently.
I’m no lawyer, or I’d be off lawyering and making big bank and scaring people. And man, I’d have this giant house with a maid that would just do floors, all day long. And two dogs – Herve Villechaize and Nipsey Russell. What was I saying? Â Right. I’m no lawyer, but if I got a ticket for missing a license plate after this law goes into effect, since the AG’s office will take six months to rule on the legalities, I might just fight it. I think.
Tuesday Hypothetical: Save Our Summer
You are approached by a man — for expediency and clarity, I shall hereafter refer to this man as LaMetrius — who says that he can promise you that the temperature outside will never be greater than 75 degrees and will never be lower than 42. LaMetrius further stipulates that there will only be a few scattered (but mostly unobtrusive) clouds, and the humidity will similarly be negligible. Plus, LaMetrius says, there will always be a light breeze.
Of course, LaMetrius smiles, there are some conditions. Three conditions.
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