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Making Dallas Even Better

Leading Off (7/14/2015)

The Barnett Shale is Off-Gassing More Greenhouse Gasses Than Previous Thought: The EPA botched its initial estimates, and as it turns out, fracking in the Barnett Shale is responsible for 64 percent of all methane in our local atmosphere. The good news: most of those emissions are the result of human errors and mechanical failures.

Let’s Put Those Increased Violent Crime Numbers in Perspective: The Dallas Morning News breaks down the much-reported 10 percent increase in violent crime. The takeaway? Glass half-full, glass half-empty. You could argue the increase reflects a return to a historical norm. And if violent crime continues at pace through the end of the year, murders will be at the same level they were 2013 and 2012, while aggravated assaults would only see a 0.4 percent increase over last year.

When Will We Finally Run Craig Holcomb Out of Town? Read Eric Nicholson’s look into the laughable bike share program in Fair Park. I mean, it couldn’t be more stupidly designed, so it will come as no surprise that the usage numbers are equally laughable. But here’s the important bit: when Nicholson tried to get the usage numbers through an open records request, he was stonewalled by the Friends of Fair Park, which operates the program. That decision to not to release the bike share numbers was then upheld in a ruling by the Texas AG.

I mean, seriously? Bike share numbers? We’re keeping those under lock-and-key? Why? Because Friends of Fair Park – which is run by Craig Holcomb, who also heads the Trinity Commons Foundation – doesn’t want more mud on his face for a program that anyone who has any idea about anything looks at for two seconds and thinks, “Good God, that is the sorriest excuse for a bike share program I have ever seen in my entire life.” I mean, seriously? How long are we going to let Holcomb meddle in the city’s business? How long are we going to let him lord over his two little fiefdoms, which happen to involve two of Dallas’ greatest civic assets – Dallas and Fair Park – both of which have languished for decades under the weight of curiously stupid ideas? For the love of all things good, Criag Holcomb, will you please just drift off into a quiet retirement and leave Dallas alone? Please. Thank you for your service. Now go away.

New Designer Drug in Town: It’s called Flakka, and it doesn’t sound like too much fun. Effects include “murderous rage, paranoia, ultra-violence, and running around screaming.” Or basically what it feels like to read about Craig Holcomb’s meddling in Dallas affairs.

It’s Finally Texas Hot: After cool temps and so much rain, we can’t really complain about DFW finally flirting with 100 degrees (heat index popped up to 109 in some places yesterday). Well, unless the AC goes out in your entire apartment complex. Then you can complain.

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Oak Cliff Filmmaker Makes Video Protesting Rezoning and Is Threatened With Lawsuit

If you’ve hung around Dallas music for any length of time, you know the name Kirby Warnock. Back in the day, he edited Buddy, one of first print mags to cover the Dallas music scene. Since then he has become a filmmaker, and his movie When Dallas Rocked showed at a film festival and on PBS (more on that here).

Warnock is also a staunch Oak Cliff-er; he’s been there long before it was the hip place to be. And he’s not happy about some of the attempts to rezone formerly single family lots on Hampton Road.

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Ask John Neely Bryan: Why Dallas Isn’t Called La Reunion, Texas

Friends, now that we’ve reached the Year of Our Lord numbering an unseemly 2015, I believe it’s time for us to reflect upon the remarkable progress of mankind. In my considerable opinion the greatest inventions wrought since my death in 1877 are as follows: the moving picture, the aeroplane, the wireless, the Turing machine, and the Rolling Stones’ Exile on Main Street.

Cogitate a moment upon the brilliance evident in each of those superb products, and then quit your bellyaching that Robert Zemeckis swore we’d all have hoverboards by now.

My promise to you: email your query to ask@dmagazine.com, and ye shall receive (an answer, not a hoverboard. I’m not Tony Hawk.)

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I Am On The Front Lines Of Mankind’s War With Owls

If you know me — either IRL or on various social media — you know I recently had a problem with an owl. If you don’t, then you can read about it here. The video you see here is courtesy of my friend Bob’s girlfriend, who noticed an owl mean-mugging her and, while recording, captured an attack on an unsuspecting jogger. (Just hang with it for a sec.) Also, you may have seen this video (language alert) of a man using a Swiffer to get an owl out of his home making its way around the internet recently. This is how these things start! It’s like, haha, what a funny situation and then, boom, we’re all huddled together in a giant nest watching a buddy being fed to a bunch of owlets. DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU.

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Reunion Tower’s Observation Deck to Re-Open on — Wait, It’s Called WHAT?

Big Bob has the details about the opening here. (It’s October 5, by the way.) I will instead focus on the name. Here’s is my short take: SO DUMB. Here is a long one: Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo dumb. GeO-Deck?! That’s the name of a Lego knock-off that your kid will hate you for buying instead of the […]

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Clive Davis Called Burleson Native Kelly Clarkson a ‘Sh*tty Writer Who Should Be Grateful For The Gifts That He Bestows’

Let’s go straight to the source, KellyClarkson.com: So I just heard Clive Davis is releasing a memoir and spreading false information about me and my music. I refuse to be bullied and I just have to clear up his memory lapses and misinformation for myself and for my fans. It feels like a violation. Growing […]

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Twenty Years Ago Today, the Dallas Cowboys Destroyed the Buffalo Bills in Super Bowl XXVII

If the pains of the past three seasons are still too much, don’t continue reading. Just skip ahead to watching Michael Jackson’s Halftime Spectacuganza. I’m watching it with fresh eyes – I was eight when it first aired – and it’s glorious. Multiple Michaels, a lightshow during daylight, James Earl Jones, everything. As for the […]

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If You Like Hockey Fights and Oil Terminology, Last Night’s Stars Game Was Your Eden

Neither Zac nor I (two of three people in the office right now) watch enough Stars hockey to know if this kind of terminology is commonplace, but it certainly is entertaining. During last night’s Stars-Red Wings game, a scrum broke out. It was a pretty good fight; a flurry of upper-cuts will do that. The […]

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Woodrow Wilson Grad Tim Brown Thinks His Coach Sabotaged Super Bowl XXXVII

Not really a good week for Notre Dame and crazy stories, but here’s another one. Woodrow Wilson graduate, Heisman Trophy winner, and Oakland Raiders legend Tim Brown took to Sirius NFL Radio Saturday and basically said Bill Callahan blew the Super Bowl on purpose: “We all called it sabotage . . . because Callahan and […]

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Texas’ State Fruit — the Grapefruit — Is Under Fire

When I first moved to Texas two years ago, I ate so much grapefruit that my now-wife had to force me to stop. I was getting sick, but I couldn’t get over how cheap the fruits were (four for $1 last week at Sprouts). Even the grapefruit juice was cheap, defying all of Ocean Spray’s supply-chain […]

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