Hint #2: It once belonged to the Cunard Line.

Hint #3: Of a set of four, one is at the bottom of the ocean, one was salvaged for scrap, one is part of a memorial in Ireland, and the one pictured now rests behind the main building at Old Parkland on Maple Avenue.

Okay, Dallas history buffs, show your stuff.  

(Contest rules: Employees of Harlan Crow, friends of Harlan Crow, partners of Harlan Crow, relatives of Harlan Crow, anyone who has ever been to Harlan Crow’s house, and anyone who has ever asked Harlan Crow for money are not eligible to enter.)

Ms. Swank deserves another Oscar for her performance Monday night. Don’t know how she kept a straight face during such gems from Quin Mathews as: “I think the Next Karate Kid was a more physical movie than Million Dollar Baby. Don’t you think?” H. Swank: “Did you see Million Dollar Baby?”

Mathews: “Why did the producers pick you for Boys Don’t Cry?” H. Swank: “You would have to ask them.” Mathews: “But, you must have some idea …” [awkward pause]

Mathews: “I think you have to be a life-long actor. You could never stop acting, right?” H. Swank: “No. I could stop whenever I wanted to. That was a funny question.”

For a few split seconds, I contemplated jumping up out of my seat and yelling, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET HER FREE,” but distracted myself by noticing that if I closed my eyes, Ms. Swank sounded sort of like Jillian, a trainer from my favorite show, The Biggest Loser.

Ms. Swank was “delightful” as the program bio promised. It didn’t mention “patient,” but it should have. I found myself hoping that she would spot me in the audience, look deep into my eyes, and know instantly that we were meant to be besties forever.

The program also mentioned her upcoming film Freedom Writers, circa 2007, so that could have used some updating.

Overall, the conversation was about 5% “succeeding against the odds” as advertised, about 10% awkward pauses, and 85% questions about The Next Karate Kid.

My grade. H. Swank: A-. I docked her a few points for her dress, which had a weird mini train attached to the back. Quin Mathews: Z-.

TV, movie and music star Demi Lovato buys first car from Park Place Motorcars Dallas Disney star Demi Lovato turned 17 last August, but she couldn¹t really celebrate because she was in Canada filming ³Camp Rock 2² with the Jonas Brothers. The film recently wrapped and Demi returned home to her family in Colleyville. One of her first stops was to visit her uncle David De La Garza, and to pick up her first car: a new 2010 Mercedes-Benz E350. ³At the very top of her list was a trip to the Texas DMV,² reports De La Garza, Finance Director at Park Place Motorcars. ³She wanted to have a Texas driver¹s license rather than a California one. And she would only buy a car from Park Place MotorcarsŠ for obvious reasons.² David De La Garza¹s brother Eddie is Demi¹s stepfather and manager. Demi¹s mom Dianna is a former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader and singer. Demi¹s younger sister Madison De La Garza plays Juanita Solis (Eva Longoria’s daughter) on ABC-TV¹s ³Desperate Housewives.² Her oldest sister Dallas Lovato is an actress and singer as well. Demi got her start on the locally produced ³Barney & Friends² TV show. ³She ordered the 2010 E350 back in July,² said De La Garza. ³The car is as loaded as you can get a car. It has absolutely everything: a high-end sound system, iPod kit, Parktronic, etc.² Best known as Mitchie Torres in the Disney Channel Original Movie ³Camp Rock,² and Sonny Munroe in the Disney Channel¹s TV series ³Sonny With A Chance,² Lovato is also a solo music artist. Her first album ³Don’t Forget² debuted at #2 on the Billboard 200 in September 2008. Lovato released her second album, ³Here We Go Again,² last July. The album debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200, selling over 108,000 copies in the first week. ³I have a firm commitment from my brother that all their luxury car purchases will be through Park Place,² says David De La Garza with a smile. ³He knows there will be family trouble if they don’t.²

The highlight of the lunch, though, was when a brisk breeze swirled through the courtyard at One Arts, toppling two large shade umbrellas. One fell on empty tables. The other, which was shading our table, fell onto a two-top across the aisle from us, smashing a glass full of red wine, and threatening the lives of the two gentlemen there seated. They surely would have been decapitated if not for the quick thinking of my good friend Jaap, who lunged backward in his chair and, with his baton hand, managed to steady the sickle-like umbrella before it could do further damage. Bravo!

(Did I mention that I was over-served?)

He could have said a thesaurus was a big scaly creature that roamed the planet millions of years ago and they would have applauded.

2. I’m under age 55, so I was not watching the Jay Leno Show last night. Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was on via satellite from inside the belly of his giant robot space turtle. Judging from this clip of the appearance, the segment featured Leno’s standard brand of excruciating comedy. Jay asked about Cowboys players dating celebrities, like Tony Romo’s relationship with Jessica Simpson. “Spice is nice,” Jerry said. Other gustatory terms come to mind, but I’ve never particularly thought of Jessica Simpson as spicy.

3. I don’t even want to imagine the horror that Raul Garza has had to live through since April, when his wife was murdered. The man who killed her was sentenced to 15 years in prison yesterday. What I can imagine, and what I hope brought him some small sense of satisfaction, was standing across from the killer in court and flinging these words at him: “You’re not a man, but a shell of human being not worthy of love because you are incapable of showing that to others. You let evil rip out your spine and your guts.”