Josh Malone, Super Genius, Invents Way To Make 100 Water Balloons in a Minute

Josh Malone is a 41-year-old dude who lives in Plano and has eight kids. So he’s clearly insane. Speaking from experience, a vasectomy is a pretty simple procedure. But Malone is also a super genius. Any parent who has ever made a mess of water balloons will appreciate Malone’s invention, which is called Bunch o Balloons. Check out the video. It’s amazing. He launched a Kickstarter on July 22, with a $10,000 goal. The campaign goes till August 21, but he’s already got $635,000 pledged. Probably didn’t hurt that he was on the Today show this morning.

Josh Malone, you are my hero.

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Is Dallas-Fort Worth Really the Third-Best Destination in the Country?

Mayor Mike Rawlings is crowing about how Dallas fared in a report issued by Resonance Consultancy. Resonance’s “Top 50 U.S. Destinations 2014” puts Dallas-Fort Worth at No. 3, behind Los Angeles and New York City. Cleveland, which stole the Republican National Convention from us, came in at No. 27. Resonance broke down the list into some top-10 subcategories, too. In the Top 10 Places for Culture and Performing Arts, we came in at No. 3. In the Top 10 Places to Shop, we came in at No. 2.

I’m not sure what to make of this. Is Dallas-Fort Worth really a better destination than Chicago (No. 4) and San Francisco (No. 5) — not mention everywhere else in the country except LA and NYC? I love where I live, but, um. I did a Nexis database search for Resonance Consultancy to try to figure out what sort of chops these folks have. The name pops up in 33 sources, with seven of those being newspaper articles and seven being newswires and press releases. So yeah.

We’re No. 3!!

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A Less Than Complete Recap of Last Night’s ‘Best of Big D’ Party That Includes an Appearance by Pat Green

A good time was had by all, I believe, at last night’s Best of Big D party at the Rustic. DJ Sober and Sam Lao were great. The drinks flowed freely. Much food went into many mouths. And so on and so forth. But I will tell you this: before the front moved through, it was a little steamy. The meteorological conditions occasioned my favorite moment of the night:

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Brilliant Idea: Let’s Install Fans and Misters Along All Downtown Dallas Sidewalks

When I write that this idea is “brilliant,” I do so without any consideration for the financial cost it would entail. I do so as a person who routinely treks across wide-open swaths of concrete throughout downtown Dallas and am not entirely fond of roasting.

The proprietor of the Urbanophile blog was in town for the recent New Cities Summit, and I’ve just now had a chance to look at his after-action report on his visit. First he opined that Dallas is in the midst of a transition from juvenile mega-sprawl enthusiast to mature and sophisticated urban environment. We’re young (major city-wise), so it’s understandable that we’re not as well-designed as an aging city like Chicago, he says. My favorite bit from his initial post pinpoints exactly what’s always bugged me about Large Marge:

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Feds Give OK To Start Review For Dallas-Houston High-Speed Rail

There’s no need to read the item—again: densely worded, boring. It basically allows Texas Central Railway to begin its environmental impact study, which will explore various routes for the train, and how each path would impact the land below it. The study’s expected to last a year.

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Please Look at These Poolside Pics Taken at Sisu

Sisu fascinates me. It’s that Uptown club with the pool. At least I think it’s a club. Whatever. It has a pool. And young people go there and drink and wear very little clothing. Not really my kind of place. Which is why I’m seriously giving some thought to going.

Anyway, over on our Nightlife section, there’s a photo gallery from Sisu that deserves your attention. I encourage you to flip through every image. When you’re done, see if you can guess which is my favorite.

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State Rep. Jason Villalba, to Lt. Gov. Candidates: ‘Illegals Are People’

“Friends, these ‘illegals’ are people. They are human beings who love their little ones just as much as you and I love our little ones. They want a better life for their families and they want their children to have a better life than they have had.”

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Dallas to Houston in 90 Minutes May Soon Become a Reality

According to the Texas Tribune’s Aman Batheja, U.S. Secretary of Transportation Anthony Foxx just confirmed that the federal government will team up with the Texas Department of Transportation and Texas Central High-Speed Railway to study a possible Dallas-Fort Worth to Houston rail line.

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