Articles about A D Magazine Guess-tigation
The Top Five Least-Hipster Buildings in Downtown Dallas, According to Me
In the spirit of the stupidest list that’s skimmed my desk in months (“Discover the 10 Least Hipster Cities in the Country“), I present The Top Five Least-Hipster Buildings in Downtown Dallas, According to Me:
5. Renaissance Tower- I’m more of a rococo fan.
4. (TIE) Bank of America Plaza, Comerica Bank Tower – Occupy Your Mind, mannnn, and the banks will fall.
3. Fountain Place- Let that water live freely, brother, not trapped in a fountain.
2. Thanksgiving Tower- “Have you ever read ‘A People’s History of the United States?’ It’ll blow your skull. Anyway, smallpox on blankets. And they didn’t even eat turkeys.”
1. Patriot Tower- Jingoistic monsters.
Former Dallas Mayor Tom Leppert Takes Job With Kaplan Inc.
“Hand me an emery board.”
Former Dallas mayor and U.S. Senate hopeful Tom Leppert has accepted a position with education company Kaplan, the Morning News reports. Leppert will become president of the New York-based company, but remain in Dallas. The multi-billion dollar company is owned by the Washington Post Company, and has its fingers in everything from standardized test prep to online courses to law. It’s most recent evaluation was $2.5 billion.
“I had a couple of opportunities that would have been nice, interesting positions,” he told the paper. “But there was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing where you woke up and said, ‘Wow, let’s get to work!’”
Possibilities for those nice, interesting positions:
A Quick Poll About the 2013 Cotton Bowl
We’ll post the results by the end of the day, for those who don’t want to waste their time answering three lousy questions.
Rick Perry Speaks at Texas-Israel Chamber of Commerce Dinner Tonight In Dallas
Thanks to my side gig as a looper, I’ve seen the speech and, in a way I’m sure you are familiar with by now, I’ve recreated it.
Rick Perry Tours Big Tex Fire Site, Declares It A “Trrargerrdy”
"A drrrlishus, drrrlishus trrrargerdy."
Rick Perry’s Sleep Apnea Triggers “Oops!” Moment
According to Jay Root’s new e-book, Oops! A Diary From the 2012 Campaign Trail, Rick Perry’s dismal showing at the Orlando debate was due to Perry not sleeping the night before. Let’s see.
A Counterfactual History: Rick Perry Speaks At the Republican National Convention
Everyone knows Rick Perry wasn’t chosen to speak at the Republican National Convention. What this post presupposes is … maybe he was.
Ritz Carlton Penthouse for Sale: $14 million, Ctd.
I met Gabe Kaplan once. Dude has some janky facial hair.
I was doing a little poking around in public records to find out who might be selling that penthouse. Here is a list of owners of the top floors of the Ritz: Randall Van Wolfswinkel, Trevor Rees-Jones, and a trust for Gabriel Kaplan. The first two are known quantities. RVW is a home-building magnate. TRJ is a oil and gas guy. But that third fellow? Does Mr. Kotter really own one of the top-floor condos at the Ritz? He just might. The guy does spend some time in Dallas. Given his TV residuals and his poker skills, I’m guessing he could afford it.
A D Magazine Guesstigation: Is Rhett Miller Yodeling for Olive Garden?
For the past few days, I’ve seen an Olive Garden commercial whose never-ending pasta bowl jingle is sung by a fellow who sounds exactly like Rhett Miller. I finally remembered to ask the internet about this, and people certainly are chattering about it, but no response from the crooner himself. Nor can I find the commercial online. Anyone else notice this?
How To Fix the Nasher/Museum Tower Issue
So listen, the other day I was watching Superman II and I totally came up with an idea that will fix everything.
It happens toward the end of the movie, when General Zod is using his laser beam eyeballs to heat up semi trucks and make them explode. So then Superman comes in and uses his freeze-breath thing to cool the truck down, and bends the truck’s mirror to reflect the laser beam burny thing back on Zod.
And then it hit me. All the Nasher needs is a carefully placed mirror reflecting toward the Museum Tower. Then it can fry them right back.
You’re welcome. Just tell me where to send the bill.
Restricted Access at Dallas County Commissioners’ Meeting: A Reenactment
This morning, the county commissioners took the rare step of restricting access at their meeting, the first since the FBI released its affidavit regarding the investigation of embattled Commissioner John Wiley Price. “The dais was roped off in three different areas, preventing news cameras from approaching Price after County Judge Clay Jenkins gaveled the meeting to a close,” the DMN‘s Kevin Krause reported. But words were not good enough for us, so we decided to reenact the scene. (Guest-starring as County Judge Clay Jenkins is Big Tex, and Rangers broadcaster Eric Nadel plays Reporter No. 1.)
What Dangerous And/Or Illegal Thing Will a Kid Bring To School Next?
In the last couple of weeks, we’ve seen a kid bring a loaded gun to school and, as Bethany mentioned this morning, crack cocaine. What dangerous and/or illegal item should we expect to turn up in school next?
A D Magazine Guess-tigation: Tom Leppert’s Hand Gestures In the Wild
Previously, our crack guess-tigation team has looked at how senate candidate Tom “Tom” Leppert uses his paws during his campaign ads. Today, we look at how he puts them to use out among his potential constituency.
A D Magazine Guess-tigation: Continuing Coverage of Tom Leppert’s Hand Gestures
Conservative Tom Leppert released another conservative campaign ad for his conservative run for the U.S. Senate as a conservative. And with it, he’s debuted a new package of hand gestures. We’ve had our team in the lab all morning breaking down game tape. Here are their findings.
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