Find a back issue

Making Dallas Even Better

A D Magazine Guess-tigation: How Many Points Will Dirk Nowitzki Have When His Career Ends?

After one meeting this morning and before another, I noticed this tweet from Mavs fan and photographer Andi Harman. If you live such a go-go lifestyle that you don’t have time to click that link, I’ll summarize. Ms. Harman goes on record with her prediction that Dirk Nowitzki will finish his career with more total points than the late Wilt Chamberlain. As of right this very moment, Wilt has 31,419 points and Dirk has 29,408. I happen to agree with Andi, but I got to wondering: how many points will Dirk actually finish with before he retires?

To try to come up with an answer, I had to follow the trail to some pretty dark places. That’s right. I had to use math.

Read More

Would This Have Been A Worse Season For the Cowboys?

In May, I predicted that the Cowboys would go 1-13-2. If you’re not used to reading sports standings, that is one win against 13 losses and two ties. Given what a cannonball into a pool filled with broken glass the 2015 campaign has been thus far, as I asked in the headline, would 1-13-2 have been a worse season for the Cowboys?

Pros: According to this, no team has ever tied twice in a season since overtime was instituted in 1974, which was also the year I and this magazine were born — a pretty good year, all told. Since I don’t think anyone is ever beating that, the Cowboys would have a permanent place in the NFL record book, alongside the mark it set in 1996 — most players to wear a full-length mink to a grand jury hearing. Plus, all those forfeits! So, still terrible but you’re getting something memorable in the exchange.

Cons: No one wants to forfeit that many games in a season, no matter what. I don’t even know why we’re discussing it. This is dumb. Who brought this up, anyway? Jeez.

A D Magazine Guess-tigation: Is Mayor Rawlings Actually a 12-Year-Old Trapped In An Older Man’s Body, Just Like In Big or Vice Versa or Like Father Like Son?

I posed the question in the headline this morning in Leading Off, but after doing so, I started to worry if I’d given enough supporting evidence for my hypothesis. Could I base my entire conclusion on one “holy smokes” quote? Well, sure. I could. But …

Read More

Do We Know ‘American Sniper’ Chris Kyle’s Stance On Fluoride In Drinking Water?

I’ve read Michael Mooney’s story about the late Chris Kyle. I’ve read this story that quotes Michael. I’ve read this blog post that links to another blog post written by Michael. I’ve read a lot of things about Chris Kyle, some that surprisingly had nothing at all to do with Michael. And still, I’m left with one nagging question:

What did Chris Kyle think about putting fluoride in our drinking water?

Read More

Why Are the Mavericks So Awful In the Third Quarter?

The Mavs have started fairly strong this season, opening with a 3-2 record and only one really bad loss (last night, against the Portland Trailblazers). Chandler Parsons has mostly righted the ship after a terrible start against San Antonio. The other new guys have mostly fitted in. Dirk has looked like Dirk. But there is one troubling aspect that those five games have in common: the team’s absolutely dreadful third quarters. How bad has it gone when the second half starts? They have been outscored 170 to 106 in the third quarter, or 34 to 21.2 on average. That is not good. Giving up 34 points is not good. Being outscored by 13 points is not good. It is all not good. So, what is up?

A. The team’s dominant offense has allowed it to coast a bit on defense. When the opponents make halftime adjustments to slow down the offense, the defense is exposed.

B. The Mavericks have a deep roster, but the second unit is not packed with scorers. When the starters naturally begin to drop off a bit, there is no one on the bench to bail them out and bring some renewed energy on the offensive end. (Quicker version: the team misses Vince Carter way more than it thought it would.)

C. During halftime at every game, Warden Hazen takes Parsons aside and threatens to pin Caretaker’s murder on him, thus extending his prison stay indefinitely. By the time Parsons decides to take his chances with the warden and starts playing to win again, it is already the fourth quarter.

Or maybe something else?

A Game-By-Game Guide To How The Cowboys Miss the Playoffs Again

The Dallas Cowboys will obviously again miss the playoffs and more than likely finish 8-8 in doing so. But how? Read this and save yourself a few hours every week.

Week 1: 49ers — WIN
More of a 49ers loss than a Cowboys win, but whatever. You know who doesn’t see it that way? Jerry Jones and every Cowboys fan, all of whom get way, way too excited about the season’s prospects. “Super Bowl” is mentioned with a straight face. Prevailing sentiment in town: OH MY GOD, ARE THEY REALLY GOING TO DO THIS THING?

Week 2: At Titans — LOSS

Read More

Is Dallas-Fort Worth Really the Third-Best Destination in the Country?

Mayor Mike Rawlings is crowing about how Dallas fared in a report issued by Resonance Consultancy. Resonance’s “Top 50 U.S. Destinations 2014” puts Dallas-Fort Worth at No. 3, behind Los Angeles and New York City. Cleveland, which stole the Republican National Convention from us, came in at No. 27. Resonance broke down the list into some top-10 subcategories, too. In the Top 10 Places for Culture and Performing Arts, we came in at No. 3. In the Top 10 Places to Shop, we came in at No. 2.

I’m not sure what to make of this. Is Dallas-Fort Worth really a better destination than Chicago (No. 4) and San Francisco (No. 5) — not mention everywhere else in the country except LA and NYC? I love where I live, but, um. I did a Nexis database search for Resonance Consultancy to try to figure out what sort of chops these folks have. The name pops up in 33 sources, with seven of those being newspaper articles and seven being newswires and press releases. So yeah.

We’re No. 3!!

Special D Magazine Guesstigation: The DMN and the Home-Rule DISD Group

In today’s Metro section, above the fold, there appear two stories, a James Ragland column about the DISD home-rule effort (executive summary: “Whoa, I have some questions about this group. No answers. Just questions.”) and a news story by Matthew Haag about groups that oppose the home-rule effort (executive summary: “Some groups oppose the home-rule effort.”). As I say, the stories abut each other. What’s curious is that Ragland calls the home-rule group Save Our Public Schools (which also appears in the print headline), while Haag refers to the group as Support Our Public Schools. The explanation for this discrepancy is simple. THE GROUP IS SO SHADOWY AND SECRETIVE THAT IT WON’T EVEN TELL US ITS REAL NAME.

Read More

A D Magazine Guess-tigation: Will Mayor Rawlings Use Our Own Peter Simek In His Re-Election Campaign?

Will Mayor Mike Rawlings run for re-election? Maybe. Will he once again use our arts editor Peter Simek and his delightful family in his campaign ads? I hope so.

I wonder if Peter even knows about this. ALSO: Glorious shot of Mayor Mike picking up sticks at the beginning. Just getting a quick workout in.

Read More

Did Don Williams Hire Lisa Blue to Represent a DISD Board Candidate? UNSURE.

So the District 8 DISD school board race (the vote is tomorrow) is between a pro-Miles candidate, Miguel Solis, and an anti-Miles candidate, Kristi Lara. This is important because there are currently four anti-Miles votes on what will be a nine-person board. (If you think that school board member Elizabeth Jones is pro-Miles just because […]

Read More

Has Anyone Seriously Considered That Jerry Jones is Actually Building a Death Star?

AT&T Stadium (aka Cowboys Stadium, aka Jerry World) has been called the Death Star since the very beginning — there are currently more than 4 million hits for “jerry jones death star” on Google — partly because it looks like a mass-murdering space station and partly because people hate Jerry Jones and the Cowboys and […]

Read More

Are NBC 5 Anchors Brian Curtis and Meredith Land Going To Hold Hands?

I don’t know if Brian Curtis and Meredith Land — I’ve decided to start affectionately referring to them as “BAM,” until I forget and don’t — do this all the time. Maybe they do. Or maybe stories about people falling five stories and surviving just make me look for signs of sexual tension. Anyway, on […]

Read More

The Top Five Least-Hipster Buildings in Downtown Dallas, According to Me

In the spirit of the stupidest list that’s skimmed my desk in months (“Discover the 10 Least Hipster Cities in the Country“), I present The Top Five Least-Hipster Buildings in Downtown Dallas, According to Me: 5. Renaissance Tower- I’m more of a rococo fan. 4. (TIE) Bank of America Plaza, Comerica Bank Tower – Occupy […]

Read More

Former Dallas Mayor Tom Leppert Takes Job With Kaplan Inc.

Former Dallas mayor and U.S. Senate hopeful Tom Leppert has accepted a position with education company Kaplan, the Morning News reports. Leppert will become president of the New York-based company, but remain in Dallas. The multi-billion dollar company is owned by the Washington Post Company, and has its fingers in everything from standardized test prep to […]

Read More