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Jones Boys Maybe Need To Sit Out a Few Plays

Jerry_Jones

Jerral Jones and his son Stephen are having quite a week. First embarrassing pictures of Jerry taken five years ago surface. Lesson No. 1: if you’re going to party with strippers, ban all photography. Just to be safe, ban courtroom sketching, too. Then Stephen is caught on video using one of the Cowboys buses to make a beer run, only instead of beer, he picked up a bunch of navel-baring club strumpets. Lesson No. 2: if you’re going on a strumpet run, have the bus pull around back for load in. Gene (Jerry’s wife), Charlotte (Jerry’s daughter), and Karen (Stephen’s wife) must be none too pleased with their men. Here’s the thing about that Cowboys bus:

Remember the old White House that a number of players used as a pleasure dome back in the mid-’90s? Think of that bus (there’s more than one) as a White House on wheels, except it’s for management instead of players. You’re either on the bus or you’re off the bus, and I’ve heard stories about what happens on the bus. Nothing illegal, from what I’m told. Just, like, way NSFW. Been going on for years. I will give them this: at least they’re letting someone else do the driving.

9 comments on “Jones Boys Maybe Need To Sit Out a Few Plays

  1. All references to Gene Jones should be proceeded by, “long suffering.”

  2. What’s the over under on illegitimate Jones kids? I say 3. Know of at least one confirmed.

  3. Hasn’t the mother herself confirmed this? I could be mistaken. But everyone in town knows of what you speak.

  4. Yeah, the skirts in their lives are probably none-too-happy about all this, but you know what – the only thing these femmes will do is pout. And Fake Dr. Phil, you should put down that glass of Kool-Aid; calling Gene Jones ‘long suffering” is giving her a false martyrdom label, best saved for priests doing the Lord’s work in leper colonies. Grown women with the means and knowledge to know better and don’t are the architects of their own misery. You deserve what you tolerate.

    Do the analysis. Jerry Jones is still Jerry Jones without the Mrs. Mrs. Jones, on the other hand, would be a rich divorcee nobody without the title of being Mrs. Somebody. It’s cool to be invited to stuff and it rocks to be cooed over by the minions. Divorce creepy old man and she’ll be lucky if the postman remembers to deliver her mail. Still, she’s got mad computation skills. Gene Jones has done the math: She undoubtedly gets the fact that her former Miss Arkansas title and faded beauty lost its power and allure ions ago. And, if she’s not Mrs. Somebody, all the nobodies out there will cease to care. Contrast that with a real SOMEBODY like Maria Shriver – historical pedigree and actual career accomplishments. There’s a woman whose self-esteem is rock solid thanks to her own bonafides, so when her Actor-Governor hubby lost his wiener-schnitzel mind, she had the self-confidence and personal value to rid herself of spousal baggage.

    Daughter Jones also is not going to do a thing beyond pouting. She, too, gets it that her current professional status as marketing brand cheerleader for the Cowboys organization (and future cushiony inheritance) is through her father. She’s really not going to mess up that sweet gig. And Stephen Jones’ wife? What’s her name? Precisely.

  5. That’s a lot of hard thinking on a Friday afternoon about a bunch of lipstick-wearing oinkers

  6. I think the NFL would be wise to do what the NBA did with Donald Sterling and force Jerry and Stephen out. Let the three women run the team and the Cowboys might have a shot at the Super Bowl again. (I bet they’d hire a GM)

  7. The Joneses are all white trash Beverly (Drive) Hillbillies. NotBUFFY is right, Jerrall’s baby momma and daughter know who pays for the plastic surgery so they will not do anything about the douchebaggery of their menfolk. Dear world, please don’t judge the city of Dallas bu the Cowboys or their owners. They are not from here.