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I Think Chart Westcott’s Being Held in a Cave Somewhere in the Park Cities

If you’ve spent any time on the internet in the past month, you’ve likely been inundated by Chart Westcott ads. Trying to watch old Vince Young videos? CHART. Trying to find photos of Young Thug wearing a dress? CHART. It’s usually been an “I’m a TRUE conservative” walk-around commercial, with plenty of soft light and pretend conversations. Today, that all changed.

Westcott’s most recent campaign ad was clearly shot on a flip phone, in an unfinished basement somewhere in Youngstown, Ohio. The Texas flag behind him was purchased on flags.com and overnighted, and likely replaced a circa-1996 Sublime poster. I kept waiting for him to hold up today’s newspaper to prove YES, I AM STILL ALIVE.

Remember, polls are open, but comments on campaign ads are closed.

(This doesn’t really fit with everything else, but the YouTube transcript of this ad is stupendous:)

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