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Power Ranking Local Experts Most Qualified To Sound Off on the Whole Greg Abbott-Ted Nugent-Wendy Davis Deal

Greg Abbott made a campaign stop yesterday in Denton with Ted Nugent. Wendy Davis doesn’t like Nugent’s songs. She didn’t specify which songs, exactly, but my money’s on “Little Miss Dangerous” and “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang.” Maybe “Love Grenade.” Anyway, it got me to thinking. If I had a TV news show, and if I needed an expert to break down this mess, tell me what the Nugent-Abbott alliance means to the gubernatorial race, whom would I invite to my show? Who of the local pundits and reporters knows a whole lot about politics and this race in particular? Who is sourced up? Who can give me a take? I start making my calls at the top of this list and work my way down:

Gromer Jeffers
Robert Draper
Tom Benning
Wayne Slater
Ryan Rusak
Mark Davis
Bud Kennedy
Emily Ramshaw
Cal Jillson
Brendan Higgins
Jim Schutze
Eric Celeste
Shelley Kofler
Robert Wilonsky
Dianna Hunt
Wick Allison
Pete Freedman
Skip Hollandsworth
Troy Aikman
Molly Ivins
Julie Lyons
Mike Rhyner
Barry Whistler
Carolyn Davis
Courtney Kerr
Pretty much anyone from local shoegaze rockers True Widow
Candy Evans
Mike Snyder
Ramona, the chimp that just gave birth at the Dallas Zoo
Tod Robberson
Claire St. Amant

  • joeptone

    Expert Celeste-trolling right there.

  • no_really

    That was bizarre. Isn’t Culture Map pretty much a restaurant/bar listings blog? I didn’t understand it either.

  • Eric Celeste

    [In 3-point stance, not moving.]

  • Uppercase Matt

    What, no Steve Blow?

  • Tim Rogers

    I’ve let you down. That one’s on me.

  • rauldallas

    Wylie H.?

  • Tim Rogers

    Okay, now I don’t feel like I’ve just let you down. I’m incompetent and should be fired.

  • RAB

    No Alan Peppard?? Did you read the masterful pieces he did for the Kennedy assassination series?

  • BananaFofana

    Unlikely half of these people would return your call, especially not Molly Ivins, considering she died about 7 years ago.

  • Bethany

    Am I not on this list because I’m below Claire, or because my response involves hand gestures and very little actual words?

  • Bobtex

    Unless you are proficient with seances, good luck getting a comment from Molly Ivins.

  • Tim Rogers

    And what about the chimp? What will it take to get cogent political analysis from the chimp? Bear in mind that chimps don’t speak English. You’re awesome. Thank you.

  • Tim Rogers

    Just. I don’t know what to say to you. But thank you for trying to help.

  • Brett Moore

    Don’t, or won’t? I think they are hiding something.

  • Jack Jett

    What about D cover girl Robert Jeffress?

  • Ted

    Can a Tim Rogers-centric post like this (judging from the number of commenters named Tim Rogers) ever really be complete without a discussion of the proper usages of “few” and “little”?

  • Tim Rogers

    Thank you for your diligence.

  • Heather J

    Talking about yourself again? Glad to see the confidence is back.