Does Dan Branch’s New TV Ad Score a GOP Texas Primary Bingo?

Dan Branch, the Dark Knight of the Park Cities, is running to be elected attorney general of Texas. He just released his first TV campaign ad ahead of the March 4 GOP primary, and it’s full (as you’d expect) of typical conservative tropes.

But does he do enough to win a game of Texas GOP Bingo? Let’s break it down:

Every true Texas family has the Lone Star hanging on their front porch.
Every true Texas family has the Lone Star hanging on their front porch.
The White House photographed as though it's lost footage from the Zapruder film.
The White House photographed as though it’s from lost footage of the Zapruder film.
Strong anti-littering message
Strong anti-littering message
Sleeves rolled up, ready for work.
Sleeves rolled up, ready for work.
Saint Ronald. Doesn't the picture of George H.W. Bush to his left bear a passing resemblance to Dan Branch?
Saint Ronald. Doesn’t the picture of George H.W. Bush on the left bear a passing resemblance to Dan Branch?
Washington may be a hellhole, but God bless America.
Washington may be a hellhole, but God bless America.
You've got pray just to make it today.
You’ve got pray just to make it today.
The requisite dead animal to demonstrate 2nd Amendment bona fides.
The requisite dead animal to demonstrate 2nd Amendment bona fides.
He's a fighter.
He’s a fighter.

All right. Strong effort, but where’s that get him?

Dan-Branch-GOP-Ad-bingo

Ooh, so close on multiple fronts. He just needed a bit more outdoorsy, western, wide-open-spaces, hay-baling imagery. Maybe next time.