Are you a Hish who is also a unique storyteller who will “fit perfectly into an exciting concept expanding to Dallas”? In addition to a kill gland that sends you into a frenzied, murderous rampage, are you able to shoot daily assignments on a Sony EX3 and DSLR cameras? We know about your telltale shimmer and seamless adaptability to tropical jungles, but can you work nights and weekends as needed? Can you scream “GET TO THE CHOPPAHHH” and “I ain’t got time to bleed” all while operating an ENG/SNG truck? If you hear the phrase “if it bleeds,” do you simultaneously think “we can kill it” and “it leads”? Is your theme music something like this?
(Bonus points if you can figure out how that job title is, as stated in the job description, “short for producer, writer, and editor.”)