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Things To Do In Dallas Tonight: Jan. 8

Okay. (Photo by Clifford Roles.)
Okay. (Photo by Clifford Roles.)

Dallas, you’ve really done it this time. You’ve forced me to tell you about a thing that is happening, and that is a musical parody of Arbitrary Number Shades of Grey.

I’ve said this approximately a million times, but pretty much the only parody of that dreck I want to see is Ellen Degeneres reading to me on a stage. If wishes were horses or whatever. Here is the premise of 50 Shades! The Musical. In a surprising turn of events, a dowdy housewife book club (why is it only ladies who have book clubs in these sorts of scenarios?) decides to read a bestseller that sounds like it was written by the world’s most obscene fourth grader, except possibly worse. What follows is probably a subtle, yet salient analysis of sexuality and the human condition.

Oh, I don’t know. It could very well be amusing—it did well enough at Edinburgh Fringe, with a reviewer noting that the show “is fun, vivacious, filling and totally unnourishing. Those who think that’s a bad thing have rather missed the point.” Will it be better or worse than Spank!, the last musical parody of this important cultural text to roll through town? I have always liked you guys, but not enough to sit through that. 50 Shades! The Musical will run through the weekend at Dallas City Performance Hall, and you can still get all the tickets online. Go bananas. And go to Savor for dinner. I’m starting to really like that place, despite the basically mandatory valet.

There’s a nugget in Carol’s write up on the soon-t0-open Restaurant Vagabond, which has taken over the J. Pepe’s space on Greenville, about an awesome-sounding 75-seat show tonight. I mention it in case the stars align and A) there are spots left and B) you can get through to the proprietor, John Kenyon, since that’s the only way to procure said tickets. The number is 214-207-3061, though the full voicemail box isn’t too promising of a sign. I’ve called and left messages where I’m able. Kenyon’s Texas country pals Joe Ely, Butch Hancock, and Terry Allen will play at 10 p.m. Again, the odds really have to be in your favor.

For more to do tonight, go here.