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Courtney Loves Dallas Episode 1 Recap

Courtney loves Dallas, eschews pants.
Courtney loves Dallas, eschews pants.

Did you watch the premiere episode of Courtney Loves Dallas last night? Neither did I. But I did DVR it. And I’ve got power at my house, where I’m hunkered down and where half my trees are lying in an icy heap in my front yard. So I watched it. Here is my recap:

Courtney drinks white wine with her friend in her apartment. What does Courtney wear? A t-shirt. No pants. She and her friend use the word “vagina.” Packages arrive at the apartment. Courtney opens them. They are filled with clothes. Courtney looks at the clothes. Her friend sits on the couch and grows bored. Then they go to dinner. Courtney, who is 30, pretends that she is much older and wiser than the 21-year-old bartender. Courtney and her friend drink some drinks. They dance while sitting down.

The next morning, Courtney is super hung over. She takes a shower. There is gratuitous side boob, which is strange, given that Bravo is a channel for girls and gays. Courtney goes to breakfast at the Q Cafe with three friends, one of whom wears a fedora. While Courtney drinks restorative mimosas, her friends harp on her for being single in a way that suggests the producers have begged them, “Come on guys. Please talk about something interesting. Start an argument or whatever,” and the friends said, “Um, well, Courtney is single. We can harp on her for being single.” There are Matt Nordgren flashbacks. Then breakfast ends.

Back at Courtney’s apartment, a friend brings her some jewelry. They drink white wine. Courtney puts on an outfit so she can have some pictures taken for her blog. She says, “The perfect photo for my blog captures the emotion behind the outfit.” Then she gets ready for a party that Matt Nordgren will attend. Then she goes to the party. It’s at Sundown at Granada. Courtney sits on the balcony with her friends and has some more drinks. Then Matt Nordgren shows up at the party wearing the one black t-shirt he wears on television.

If you’re expecting a Kerr-vs-Nordgren showdown, you’ll be disappointed. There’s not even really a cliffhanger. The last eight minutes of the 30-minute show are nothing but Courtney talking about how nervous she is to see Matt, interspersed with shots of Matt from across the party, wearing a look on his face like he’s trying to figure out where that smell is coming from. Then Bravo runs the minute-long tease trailer for the show. The whole thing feels like the producers needed about 25 additional minutes of decent footage to make the show. I am looking forward to the second episode and to buying a chainsaw so I can cut up my dead trees.

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48 comments on “Courtney Loves Dallas Episode 1 Recap

  1. Tim, is this a scripted series or a “reality” show about some so-called celebrity? I followed the link to the show’s website, but it presumes everyone knows who this Courtney person is.

  2. One more thing. In packaged intro to the show, Courtney says she’s 30. In the show itself she twice says she’s 30, by my count. I don’t know when the intro was made or when the show was taped, but Courtney turns 32 on December 17.

  3. The show was filmed late last year into early this year, as evidenced by the presence of footage from our 10 Most Beautiful Women in Dallas photo shoot (in October 2012) in the teaser trailer.

    So I’m sure she was 30 at the time.

  4. It’s a “reality” show. Courtney was on a Bravo show called “Most Eligible Dallas.” Also a “reality” show. And she runs a popular blog whereon she shows people what she is wearing and talks about clothes.

    So that you know: I have interviewed Courtney and I have met her. She’s a decent human, as far as I can tell. But this show is not. It’s almost like the producers decided to make a show that would mock her. Very strange.

    Here’s a Q&A I did with her: http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2013/02/04/d-the-broadcast-a-qa-with-courtney-kerr/

  5. My review from elsewhere:

    I am very familiar with the building she lives in as I lived in it several years ago and that building does not have staff that surprises you with packages at night as if that is actually a thing that happens in buildings that do have the staff for that to possibly happen.

    Of course it is not surprising for a reality show to be staged but it brings me to my broader point of the delusion of grandeur that she is trying to flaunt while pretending to be self-effacing about it is so sad and obvious to apparently anyone but her. And of course there is another carryover from MED which is that she seems to be constantly drinking in very unflattering portrayals.

    Overall I get a sense of such sadness from this, it is a 30 year old woman that refuses to act like one and then whines that men don’t want a 30 year old woman that hasn’t matured out of her very early twenties in any way.

    I’m still going to watch this for snark but honey, this is sad, you need to stop. You have a not particularly interesting life and did you really think Bravo was there to do anything but snark on how ridiculously vain you are about it?

  6. There’s a reason why not all can be a reality star. You have to get a personality that get people talking. What you call childish might actually be very intriguing to the demo that watch. The same reason you see the “Real House Wives” engage in cat fights.

  7. How many people on Bravo or any entertainment network you think will sit through you discussing the stock market? That’s why you have specifics channel for such shows.

  8. Of course they made the show to mock her, that’s what Bravo does, the entire show is built around the audience making fun of her vain delusions of grander. I don’t know how much of that is her or how much of it is editing but the entire point of the show is so us viewers at home can make fun of her.

  9. Talking in different ways, in this case it is all about snark which Bravo loves to do, we are expected to see her as ridiculous person that we then mock and alternately feel sorry for.

  10. I thought there were really some amazing things she accomplished that you overlooked in your review. The independence she show in quitting her job to go on her own to start a blog. You saw her talking a lot about career. This is a trend that deviate from MED where she said her only dream was to become a wife and mother.

  11. She is totally amazing. The only thing that would make me change my mind is if she posted about herself using a fake name.

    Off topic, sort of. I own an Infinity G-Series with 32k miles, but I drive it hard and let other “friends” abuse it, so it looks like it has 40k + miles. A hard 40k+. I’ve blinged it out with some gold trim and an aftermarket, oversized front bumper which does match the size of the car.

  12. I know, right? People don’t understand how shows like this advance our culture and reinforce American Exceptionalism. Because herpes and Xanax.

  13. Sometimes Before you characterize someone make an effort to know them by researching at least. How do you think this girl feel when she read what you are writing about her without first taking the time to reach out to her? How would you feel if someone wrote about you in this way?

  14. ““I drive a Volvo and I live in a normal apartment!”

    I drive a luxury car and live in a large apartment in the most expensive part of the city! Such modesty! Which is my point, she loves to humble brag about such silly things. Oh, and she shops at Walmart? She gets credit for that? Go to the Uptown Walmart and you will see tons of luxury cars, I have even seen Bentleys there on several occasions.

    Seriously, are you Courtney posting under a fake name because it really looks like it. No, I really don’t care how she feels, when you have your life filmed for national TV that means you are open to complete scrutiny by the viewers of the show, that’s the point. There is no social contract that we you go on TV acting ridiculous that the viewers can only say nice things.

  15. So should I assume that you were humble bragging as well when you mentioned you used to live in that building?

  16. So this Asta Bality has a blank Facebook page with only two posts on Courtney Kerr and following Tara Harper. I quick Google search of Asta Bality and Courtney Kerr has tons of flattering comments on Courtney Kerr and concern for her on obscure articles involving her, most of the time the only comment at all.

    Obsessive stalker of Kerr or sad fake Kerr account?

  17. True, Because I was originally a super fan of MED. It was the show that got me watching Bravo. If you also search you will see that I posted on a lot of things MED. I don’t think Courtney will go so low as to create a fake account to defend herself.

  18. Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but you seem like an egg. Hard on the outside, but all scrambled on the inside.

  19. I live in Dallas, know everyone on the show, and Courtney is an acquaintance of mine. The show was terrible and I am surprised by that. I was expecting it to be better…especially because it took over a year to film. I think you are right on Tim that the producers were reaching and obviously did not have interesting or riveting footage. The overall feel of the show was staged, scripted in a bad way, superficial, snobby, and it dull. I love fashion, beauty, and supporting women but the show made me cringe. I do not think it was a positive or accurate representation of Dallas and the amazing women who live and socialize here. I know one if the Producers and they did not like Courtney personally…maybe that is why viewers get the feel she is being mocked? She may just be another Teresa from RHONJ who they use and abuse for the viewers amusement.

  20. One more thing, surprised she is single? No. Lose the snobby high expectations act and stop growling when you talk like the Kardashians and you might snag a good guy. The ones worth marrying aren’t into all that crap and they don’t find loud mouths attractive. Tone it down sista…

  21. Well, because after MED the only person that got a show is Kerr. I have been following her progress ever since.

  22. Having grown up ‘hollywood royalty’ and now living and watching like a normal person: The show was adorable. I don’t think it made fun of her at all. The girl is hot and having fun! I think they showed her vulnerability at the brunch table. She is listening to what they are saying…It’s nice to see a show in a city where not everyone is out to get each other. You ‘haters’ should all should take a lesson from it :) And it’s GRANDEUR, kids. Grander, if it was a word, would mean more grand. Just sayin.

  23. I just don’t get how this tool got her own spin off – as a FASHION blogger, no less! I remember how catty she was on Most Eligabke Dallas. Oh year, she had a tacky apartment with her name above her bed in block letters circa 1989. Unbelievable!

  24. How old is she? And what’s wrong with her face it looks “too long” idk something is wrong with it.

  25. She looks a lot older than 30 something and what is wrong with her face? It looks like it’s too long, maybe a little deformed?

  26. This is the worst show bravo ever made. Courtney is annoying, bitchy, has delusional thoughts of who she is, and isn’t very pretty. I think someone gave her, her own show just to prove a point that no one likes her. Sad. Also I don’t know who takes her fashion advice,
    I don’t want to end up miserable and single in my 30s. Cancel please. Even the commercials annoy me.

  27. U are amazing! I really like your hair down. If only had your job ;) I hope ur mom is ok. Idk if this is an old or new opening….. But good job girl. I’m not sure about Tim…. But good luck.

  28. Courtney, you should hook up some clothes from Saks Fifth Avenue-Armani Collezioni poplin tailored shirts would look good on you. Hope the guy Matt? you like comes a beggin’ But if he does not you will be fine. Reminds me of a guy in the 1980’s I waited for we have all been there. Here is your good-luck poem for your future guy!
    Of course the one in this poem getting older is me, you have got plenty of time do not rush into any marriage!
    Spanish Fly
    By: The Marcie McKenna Collections
    “The World is My Oyster.”
    However, feeling like someone else’s FLY on the wall.

    Cloistered, and getting older as time keeps ticking…ticking
    By…
    Did he forget his Concha Or his Spanish Fly?

    His never-ending ability of masterpieces of reading my mind.
    Is he just ignorant? Or just cruelly kind?

    He seems to know life’s all time WORLD’S highs?
    But, cloistered and getting older time keeps ticking, ticking By….
    CASADO, married couples where is mine?
    This person of impeccable segways and non-ending.
    There again, is he ignorant or just peacefully blind?
    If maturity seemingly is kind where is his timing when he is impetuously
    romantic And is suppose to be, BEING MINE….?
    The End

  29. Not Sure if this comment posted? You would look great in clothes at Saks Fifth Avenue the Armani Collezioni. People ask me where I get my clothes when dressed up and hair cut highlighted am a lot older than you. So what you are not married do not get in any kind of hurry! This poem was about me aging not you but I hope you find the right guy soon! But enjoy life, my son Austin died at twenty. Life goes so fast! Good-luck you could wear a toe sack and look good!
    I kept waiting on a guy at your age, do not ruin any other chances of love but hope Mat comes around.
    Spanish Fly
    By: The Marcie McKenna Collections
    “The World is My Oyster.”
    However, feeling like someone else’s FLY on the wall.

    Cloistered, and getting older as time keeps ticking…ticking
    By…
    Did he forget his Concha Or his Spanish Fly?

    His never-ending ability of masterpieces of reading my mind.
    Is he just ignorant? Or just cruelly kind?

    He seems to know life’s all time WORLD’S highs?
    But, cloistered and getting older time keeps ticking, ticking By….
    CASADO, married couples where is mine?
    This person of impeccable segways and non-ending.
    There again, is he ignorant or just peacefully blind?
    If maturity seemingly is kind where is his timing when he is impetuously
    romantic And is suppose to be, BEING MINE….?
    The End