Spanish television programming, to this gringo’s view, is a vaguely nightmarish mixture of low-concept variety shows, Mexican films from the 80s, and Spanish-language news segments. Several offerings of varying formats are hosted by clowns, only a couple of which are geared towards children. Such use is made of midgets as would have been considered a bit tasteless in the courts of many medieval dukes. … News programs are all hosted by impossibly beautiful women with exquisite breasts, and a suspiciously high portion of the news itself concerns other impossibly beautiful women with exquisite breasts. In a complex world, it appears perhaps that Latinos find solace in the ancient mysteries of fertility.