Dallas Cop Sounds Like a Real Peach. I’m sure that if Officer Cortenay Howard and I spent some quality time together, played some Golden Tee or whatever, threw back some beers, we’d become fast friends. But we haven’t done that. So I’m left to judge him on this litany: he has been investigated 15 times in his 11 years on the force, twice for discharging his service weapon and also for using excessive force, acting unprofessionally, making improper comments, and mistreating a citizen. He has been reprimanded for using unnecessary force, violating the off-duty employment policy, and going AWOL. Now he’s in trouble for falsifying an insurance claim about hail damage to his BMW, and internal affairs is recommending that he be fired. Having taken in all that information, I am forced to conclude that Officer Howard and I are perfect for a Training Day-style partnership. He will play the Denzel Washington to my Ethan Hawke. I’ve been preparing for this role for a lifetime. Call me!
Irving House Becomes Oswald Museum. No jokes here. This is a cool story about city of Irving employee Shirley Smith, who went on a quest, like a Mad Men prop stylist, to make an old house look just as it did when Lee Harvey Oswald spent his last night with Marina. Actually makes me want to visit. I’m sure Gordon Keith will be the first in line, though.
Today Is Election Day. There are nine proposed constitutional amendments facing the wise voters of Texas. The only one I can muster interest in is Prop 6, which would use $2 billion from the rainy day fund to put parts of East Texas underwater so that we here in Dallas can have a drink. (I’m oversimplifying.) On the one hand: multigenerational farms being destroyed forever. On the other: so thirsty! Then you’ve got your crazy-ass gerrymandered DISD District 8 trustee special election. The News endorsed Miguel Solis over Kristi Lara, saying, “Solis seems all about the children; he even noted at one point in his questionnaire that ‘serving and putting children first, no matter what the situation is’ should be a top priority.” That is huge. Because Lara seems all about the alien invaders. She even noted in her questionnaire that “serving the Espheni overlords, no matter what the sitch” should be a top priority. (Also you folks in Coppell, Carrollton, Duncanville, Farmers Branch, Garland, Glenn Heights, Grand Prairie, Lewisville, and North Oak Cliff have some deciding to do. Get to it.)