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First Baptist Church Opens Its First Bed Bath & Beyond March 31

Free eucharist to the first 100 parishioners through the doors on Easter Sunday! Get there early for all the best deals on one-way trips to heaven! Robert Jeffress will be signing Bibles in the lobby after church ($5 for members, $10 for non-members)! DEALS DEALS DEALS.

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  • Malzabarea

    Ouch! Why such a hater on a long overdue remodel.

  • Barry Hardin

    Do get a coupon with every third tithe?

  • Daniel

    Look up “gauche.” And I ain’t talkin’ rive.

  • eric

    Snark is so, last decade dood.

  • DallasMan

    This is funny. Of course, you realize Baptists don’t do Eucharist, nor do they call their churches “parishes” so there can’t be parishoners. Bradford, you must be Catholic or Episcopalian ๐Ÿ˜‰