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Belorussian Government Report Blasts U.S. Officials for Not Letting Texas Secede

Belarus, that freedom-hating stronghold of authoritarianism in an otherwise democratized Europe, would like to let you know it thinks Texas should be allowed to split from the United States thankyouverymuch. A “human rights report” by the country’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs reads:

In November, people in seven American federal states collected sufficient numbers of signatures necessary for a secession from the USA. The civil petitions have been posted on a White House website’s special section, where people can leave their submissions or join those posted earlier. To begin dealing with a petition, the White House needs to receive at least 25 thousand signatures in 30 days. Once this requirement is met, an official response will be published on the website.

The Texas’ petition gathered more than 125 thousand signatures. The petition points out that the US economic travails resulted from the Federal Government’s failure to reform fiscal policies. In addition to Texas, Louisiana, Florida, North Carolina, Alabama, Georgia and Tennessee have also collected the required numbers.

So far, the White House has not considered the civilian petitions, which can be regarded as violation of the right to self-determination.

Wait, I have a great idea. Why don’t we fund a trip to Belarus for the folks who want to secede from the United States? That way they can see what happens with little infrastructure, crumbling social safety nets, and a failed federal government.

(via Foreign Policy, via Radio Free Europe)