Dallas’ Corbin Corona Becomes the Latest in a Long Line of Clown Musicians

Dallas now has its own entry into the Rebecca Black/”It’s Thanksgiving” Wall of Honor. His name is Corbin Corona and, as you can tell by the headline, he’s a clown. Back in October he released his video “Oh My,” which (poorly) name-drops Al Biernat’s:

“I’m out here in the streets all day, lifestyle sh*t I’m talking Al Biernat’s”

Undaunted by the need for talent, Corona forged ahead, releasing a video for “SuperStar” in late December. This week it’s found its way to a variety of blogs, through a well-placed link on Reddit’s “Cringe” page. A YouTube comment sums up the video well: “great. now I have to know you exist.”

To save you all the time of watching the video, I look the liberty of live-blogging my first viewing of it:

:01- Corona rolls up to a house party, in a SmartCar, maybe? It’s 10 p.m., on a Friday. Bottles are popping off.

:04- A cross-eyed little person in a cowboy costume appears in the backseat. This video can now only go in two directions: Lynchian masterpiece, or fratastic bachanal of mildly offensive stereotypes. I’m hoping, for the sake of this piece, it’s the latter. (Mind you, this has all happened before the music video credits have disappeared from the screen.)

:07- The little person jumps out of the car, riding a plush horse. The “latter” option appears to be in full-force.

:08- Corona and a gal dressed up as Alice from Alice in Wonderland dance through the Dallas Arboretum’s Chihuly exhibit. Something so gangster has never been experienced before.

:30- Okay, he’s now in a room full of ballerinas, so the Lynchian masterpiece is back on the table. If one of these dancers turns into Man in the Planet, I’m going to stand and clap at my desk, then slam a Pabst Blue Ribbon.

1:00- A man in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hat makes his first appearance. He’s swinging around flaming metal balls. This is a fire marshal’s nightmare, especially with all the tulle from the ballerinas. Corona parties on, hazards be damned.

1:27- A small snake has appeared around Corona’s neck, though I had to pause the video to determine whether it was a snake or his hair. Upon further inspection, Superman is also dancing in the background at this particular moment. No word on whether he and the Ninja Turtles have former some sort of alliance. Also, this now appears to be a costume party, but Corona is underdressed unless he’s going as “man who becomes more and more repellant to women as the night progresses.”

2:07- Superman is wringing out his cape after being thrown into a pool. This is not typical Superman behavior. I expect someone will be punished for this misdeed later in the video.

2:20- We appear to be at the Chinese Lantern Festival, or Corona brought the lanterns to his party. Either way: dragons, lights, and Corona’s now in the pool.

2:24- The cowboy’s back! I forgot about him. I expected him to be a main character in this video, but he slipped away. I’m hoping the final scene of the video is Lil’ John Wayne just slaughtering everyone else at this party.

3:08- Old ladies in the mix! Corona is kissing them delicately on their hands, like a stately prince. I hope for their sake they aren’t Corona’s actual grandmothers, though I suspect they are.

The Greatest Generation has been disappointed yet again, in ways their younger selves couldn’t have possibly imagined.

“I’m a rapper, Memaw.”

“Cut your damn hair.”

3:35- The money’s run out, and our cast of characters has been set. Alice, Lil’ John Wayne, and Chihuly return, only to dance off into Corona’s neon-soaked sunset. I’m going to go bleach my eyeballs.

24 comments on “Dallas’ Corbin Corona Becomes the Latest in a Long Line of Clown Musicians

  1. The “About” page on his Facebook profile seems ambitious.

    Biography

    Corbin Corona is a 24 year old music producer/artist of the highest quality. Coming straight out of Dallas, TX, where he was born and raised, Corbin’s music is a unique and extraordinary form of art, with each song acting as a reflection of Corbin’s dynamic interpretation of greatness in all aspects of life. Both Corbin’s talent and ambitions as a music producer/artist are in a perpetual state of cataclysmic, exponential growth and progression.

    Credentials Include; Chamillionaire, Young Jeezy, Camron & More

    Description

    Corbin’s music along with an equally driven and hungry artist will undoubtedly result in the smashing success for all parties involved.

  2. What. A. Spaz Also, I couldn’t unsee Anne Hathaway the whole time I watched this mess ess ess ess ess.

  3. Seems to me like he should give up his music aspirations, and maybe reset those “exponential” ambitions for DISD’s new Communication Director. Sorry Ms.Sprague, but Mr.Corona’s credentials do include: Chamillionaire, Young Jeezy, Camron, & More.

  4. I’ve sculpted gingerbread men out of ‘Play-Doh’, but I refuse to hastily rush to align myself with Donatello, my beloved. :)

  5. Obviously this is a very well crafted and funded joke. Troll of the year and it’s only 2/1.

  6. “After reading this article” and then you go on to analyze and critique the editorial staff at this rag………leaves me to wonder if you, yourself, are an intern from SMU. I mean, do you “yourself” understand the artist(that would be Mr.Pearson here) creative decision behind this blog post?

  7. Your Thoughs ARE JUST A SOURCE FOR LAUGHTER~AND i’M JUST AN ORDINARY GUY~THE PRESENCE OF TRUTH WILL EXPOSE A LIE~&what are you doing with your life?Who’s Real?Who’s Not~Your Job?

    Laugh/Cry/hate/Learn/Watch/Why?/When/Negative/Postive#PERCEPT!ON

  8. Your Eagle Scout!!!!!WtF do you know about Music & your still JUST A BLOGGER!PLS,Don’t take yourself that serious)You Might have a small voice on the internet but in THIS REAL WORLD~Who’s Real?Who’s Not~Your Job?

    Laugh/Cry/hate/Learn/Watch/Why?/When/Negative/Postive#PERCEPT!ON

  9. Who’s Real?Who’s Not~Your Job?

    Laugh/Cry/hate/Learn/Watch/Why?/When/Negative/Postive#PERCEPT!ON

  10. Who’s Real?Who’s Not~Your Job?

    Laugh/Cry/hate/Learn/Watch/Why?/When/Negative/Postive#PERCEPT!ON

  11. Who’s Real?Who’s Not~Your Job?

    Laugh/Cry/hate/Learn/Watch/Why?/When/Negative/Postive#PERCEPT!ON

  12. That’s a negative approach. If everyone gave up… we’d live in a regressive society. Imagine all that creativity that we wouldn’t be able to enjoy if people gave up because people like you that throw shade. “You’ve only got three choices in life, give up, give in, or give it all you got.” I give it up to people who do things other are to scared to do or can’t do.

  13. I had written an entirely different comment prior to seeing his family on here supporting him. My comment was actually addressing the family. Did any of you speak to Corbin about posting his music? I understand a family’s support of one another, but that same family’s position is to also to help one another not make certain decisions. e.g. – uploading these parodical music videos.

    Someone MUST have thought, “Yo, homie. This. Shit. is wack. Don’t do this to yourself.”

    Why didn’t anyone in the family prevent this disaster? Corbin will forever be remembered as the male version of Jessica Black. No family could want this for their own.

  14. Someone told me not too long ago in the past, that I should give up my dreams of pitching in the major leagues, because baseballs scared the ever living bat-guano out of me…….and I was almost 30yrs of age at the time I wanted to start pitching in the majors. After reading your post, tedbernard, I feel that that negative person’s negativity kept me from maybe being one of the games greatest to have ever pitched. And i’m also, now, Mr.Corona’s #1 fan in the universe! Where were you then, tedbernard……..why weren’t you there to inspire me, tedbernard. :(

  15. Bradford Pearson, I must say that this article is a pathetic stab in the dark at being humorous. Your writing style is abhorrent. The fact your editor approved this article is enough proof to show why D magazine has lost all respect in the eyes of its community. I pray this is not your writing style or you wont survive in this business. I am now dumber for reading your pitiful attempt at journalism. I would bet a 4th grader could write a more intelligent “review”.