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Greg Abbott Urges Gun-toting New Yorkers to Point Their Wagons Southwest and Move to Texas

Source: Facebook

“Wooooohoooo howdy you Yankee commies! You like guns, but hate living in New York? No problemo! Down here in TEJAS we gots buttloads of land, enough beef to make your ‘veganese’ neighbors knit a harmony quilt outta Janeane Garofalo’s leghair, and freedom. Lots and lots of freedom. Like a gushing faucet of freedom.”- Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, presumably.

After New York passed wide-ranging gun legislation earlier this week, Abbott rebranded himself as AG of Tourism, and took to Facebook. The ad to the right is just one of the Facebook ads currently popping up on the screens of New York residents this week. Another reads, in Olde Tyme, Wild West font:

WANTED. LAW ABIDING NEW YORK GUN OWNERS LOOKING FOR LOWER TAXES AND GREATER OPPORTUNITY.

“The ad is inviting New Yorkers to come to Texas because we believe that the Constitution is sacred, and there to protect Americans from whimsical and knee jerk reactions by political leaders,” Eric Bearse, an Abbott spokesman, told the Daily Beast. “And obviously citizens of New York are facing the prospect of further restrictions on the ownership of firearms…We believe it is never good a thing when politicians try to take advantage of a tragedy when the results is the trampling of constitutional rights.”

The ad is strange to out-of-staters, sure, but it’s clear that Abbott isn’t really trying to lure New Yorkers to Texas. What he’s trying to do is become governor in 2014, provided the ol’ chard sack doesn’t run again. This (along with many, many photos of him with dead animals) just helps the gun-toting, liberal-hating image.

19 comments on “Greg Abbott Urges Gun-toting New Yorkers to Point Their Wagons Southwest and Move to Texas

  1. Murder rate per 100,000 people during the year 2011: for the commie state of New York=4.0…..and for the freedom loving ‘Muricans in Tejas=4.4
    I know, not a huge difference, but that little bit of .4 could be the difference between your families life or death. So, maybe Tejas residents should strongly consider packing up their wagons, and heading off for more “northeasternly” climes? I’m not sure, what do you think Mr.Abbott?

  2. Speaking of Tejas, wonder what portion of our 4.4 is attributable to “our” insatiable appetite for cheap labor?

  3. Over half of the gun related deaths in America have a black person at both ends of the gun, occur in urban areas and are predominately gang related. I’m sure the gangsters are very nervous about the new gun control laws that are being paraded out by the very concerned politicians. They are probably right now working on their south of the border ATF connections just to be safe.

  4. Poverty definitely has a correlation with violence due to gangs and the drug trade. The bankers and white-collar criminals don’t have to get their hands as dirty as the foot soldiers do in the drug war. All those white-collar gangsters have to do is launder the cash! The most they might get is a little bleach on their Armani suit, or those pruney-fingers.

  5. Yeah, come to Texas where the State Board of Edumacation wants children to believe the earth is 6,000 years old and that Jesus Christ was a card-carrying member of the NRA! Come to Texas where the governor does absolutely nothing to help poor people but urges that prayer will do more than laws. Come to Texas, home of the fattest people one earth.

  6. “along with many, many photos of him with dead animals…” Really? I counted three.

  7. Id be willing to bet that a decent number of those were due to good guys defending themselves from bad guys.

  8. The truth will set you free, but it will also label you as a racist. Funny isnt it?

  9. As a native Texan and a product of Texas public schools, I can type. I am assuming you meant ‘fattest ON earth’. If you meant ‘fattest one earth’, then I’ll admit my sub-standard TX education leaves me confused. And, as a product of those schools, I know the earth is 4.5 billion years old and I have no use for anyone’s religion. I do have a very good use for firearms, which is to keep King George III, or anyone who would like to step into his shoes, away from me, just as the Founding Fathers intended. We shall overcome. Kumbaya.

  10. I do everyday, I suppose, while walking around without one. Don’t be so scared, Avid Reader. Death is like taking a tight shoe off. :)

  11. I’d be willing to bet that most of those that own firearms are not scared since they are prepared. Yes, I would bet my life on that.

  12. I think you may want to look at violent crime in New York vs
    Texas, e.g. assault, robbery,. I think you will find it a bit lower. Last year, more felons were killed by armed citizens than by law enforcement.

  13. I’d hope that our law enforcement killed less. They(LEO) are trained to apprehend felons by other means if able, then just blasting criminals to the nether-regions of oblivion.

  14. 414 murders for commie capital new york
    216 for good ole houston… ..

    Also.. self defense murders are also considered homicides..