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Greg Abbott Urges Gun-toting New Yorkers to Point Their Wagons Southwest and Move to Texas

Source: Facebook

“Wooooohoooo howdy you Yankee commies! You like guns, but hate living in New York? No problemo! Down here in TEJAS we gots buttloads of land, enough beef to make your ‘veganese’ neighbors knit a harmony quilt outta Janeane Garofalo’s leghair, and freedom. Lots and lots of freedom. Like a gushing faucet of freedom.”- Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, presumably.

After New York passed wide-ranging gun legislation earlier this week, Abbott rebranded himself as AG of Tourism, and took to Facebook. The ad to the right is just one of the Facebook ads currently popping up on the screens of New York residents this week. Another reads, in Olde Tyme, Wild West font:


“The ad is inviting New Yorkers to come to Texas because we believe that the Constitution is sacred, and there to protect Americans from whimsical and knee jerk reactions by political leaders,” Eric Bearse, an Abbott spokesman, told the Daily Beast. “And obviously citizens of New York are facing the prospect of further restrictions on the ownership of firearms…We believe it is never good a thing when politicians try to take advantage of a tragedy when the results is the trampling of constitutional rights.”

The ad is strange to out-of-staters, sure, but it’s clear that Abbott isn’t really trying to lure New Yorkers to Texas. What he’s trying to do is become governor in 2014, provided the ol’ chard sack doesn’t run again. This (along with many, many photos of him with dead animals) just helps the gun-toting, liberal-hating image.