It Was Not A Fever Dream. You Did See the Wienermobile in Dallas Yesterday.

My mother always said the best press releases include the subject line: “WIENERMOBILE VISITS DALLAS AREA THIS WEEK.” I thought it was a strange maxim as a child, pushed it into the back of my head, and forgot about it for 20 years. Yesterday, it bounded back into my consciousness.

I found the Wienermobile at the Fiesta on Jefferson Boulevard. It was being ignored. Hundreds of little kids preferred the free cake and clowns in another corner of this makeshift, Monday-evening festival, so I had the wiener all to myself. 27 feet of wiener, just waiting to be loved.

I took a few laps around the beast, kicking the tires, asking a few questions to the two wiener-sitters, Hot Diggity Holly and Jess Grillin’. “Have you ever seen the Wienermobile before,” Hot Diggity asked. It seemed like a strange question, considering I equate the Wienermobile with unicorns and watchable post-Cheers Kirstie Alley vehicles: nearly impossible to find. We got to chatting, Hot Diggity and me. There are six full-size wieners and two pigs-in-a-blanket-sized ones, and their only purpose is mobile marketing; this was the Southwest Wienie. Further research showed that in 2009 one of the Wienermobiles slid into a house, lodging the vehicle under the porch, which: hilarious.

As we were wrapping up our chat, Hot Diggity plopped an “I saw it!” sticker on my shirt, and handed me a Wienie Whistle. I got in my car, blew the whistle, and wondered where I would put my sticker when I got home.

The Wienermobile is making a few more stops in the Dallas area this week:

Tuesday: Fiesta, 275 NE 28th Street, Fort Worth, 5PM-8PM
Wednesday: Carnival, 3460 Webb Chapel, Dallas, 5PM-8PM
Friday: Albertsons, 301 Southwest Plaza, Arlington, 10AM-2PM