Find a back issue

Petition Asks President Obama to Remove Jerry Jones From the Cowboys Organization Entirely

Now that the country has learned about democracy and technology and their combustible love-child known as the White House’s “We The People” petition page, it was only a matter of time before someone asked President Obama to step in and fix the mess at Cowboys Stadium.

Steven M., from Fort Benning, Ga., wrote:

We, the Citizens of the Great State of Texas, and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long. Request the Executive Branch’s immediate assistance in removal of owner and GM, Jerry Jones. His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way too long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress.

Some other petitions currently on the site, to prove that this is the real deal:

MSG and/or Monosodium Glutamate is a food additive that has no positive benefits in our food (468 signatures)

Require the National Park Service to allow camping to all self-propelled visitors even if campground is full (692 signatures)

Give us back our incandescent lightbulbs! We, the undersigned, want the freedom to choose our own lightbulbs (975 signatures)

Require zoo’s [sic] to have more secure cages & enclosures keeping animals in & people out of them thus preventing accidents (362 signatures)

Read This Next