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Ex-Cowboy Martellus Bennett Is Basically The Greatest Human Being in History. Just Ask Him.

The other night, Martellus Bennett caught an overzealous fan who fell over a railing at MetLife Stadium. Great job, Martellus! Explain what it was like!

“I caught him and then I was about to set him down gently, kinda like when Lois Lane is caught by Superman and then he kind of takes her down and sets her down so she can land on her feet,” Bennett said.

Wait, wasn’t it kind-of more like an X-Men scene?

“Cyclops has super powers,” Bennett said of the X-Men leader whose mutant power is firing an optic blast from his eyes. “He’s caught people. He caught Jean Grey a couple of times. But all superheroes catch people at some point in time. Otherwise they’re not as super as they think they are.”

Good point! Martellus, is this the first time you’ve saved someone’s life?

Bennett said “this is probably like my fifth person I’ve saved in my life.”

No way! Was one of them a child at a Texas A&M basketball game?

“Everybody was jumping on him,” said Bennett, a two-sport standout at Texas A&M. “And I saw him down there. I wanted to keep jumping and celebrating. But I looked down, then I looked at everybody else. So I did the righteous thing, and I picked the kid up and carried him off the court. He had like a broken arm and a broken wrist.”

Wait a second. You’re a certified lifeguard, too, right?

“I’m a certified lifeguard,” Bennett said. “Me and my brother (Michael) that plays for the Bucs. We are certified lifeguards. He did more lifeguarding than me.

“I just save lives. I actually saved about 12 people but only like four of those were drowning. Some people was about to drown; they just didn’t know it yet.”

I’d like to thank ESPN’s Ohm Youngmisuk for holding on for dear life during what sounds like the greatest interview in history.