Most of you are a bunch of god-forsaken liberals, looks like. According to the results of our exclusive election exit poll conducted yesterday, 61% of you voted to re-elect Barack Obama compared to just 33% for Romney. That’s an even bigger margin than the 57% to 42% margin that the president tallied in Dallas County voting.
Now that we know it’s four more years of Obama, 14% of you indicated you’ll be planning to move to the libertarian island paradiseÂ in which billionaire Peter Thiel, founder of PayPal, has invested. Best of luck to you.
Only 51% of you identify yourselves as “liberal,” but that’s still significantly higher than the 33% claiming to be “conservative.”
55% of you voted on Election Day itself, and 63% of you said the entire voting process took you less than 10 minutes.
The questions I was most interested in were what enticements could convince people to surrender their right to vote. Only 19% of you would accept four VIP tickets to every Super Bowl for the rest of your life in exchange for never again casting a ballot. But 71% would give it up if it meant winning $350 million in the lottery tomorrow.
I can only assume the other 29% of you are liars. Or billionaires.